Can someone translate?

[SimonMac]

Person I went to school with so are my age (31) has just posted this on facebook:

On rout 2 flamingo land that exsited fink i mite peepee me pant's jus cannie believe got 2 sit on this bus 4 2 hour's wi chels(dumb) n jonny(dumber) . Ed fone's in all dee way bby x

Can someone please translate so I can see if they are just a dumbass or they have had a stroke.

Can anyone do any worse?

[DimPrawn]

I tnk dat dis pRsN S tlkN bout a lng bus jRne W 2 lamo f?

[escapeUK]

I like things like this. It makes me feel safe and employable till I get really old (Not that I plan to work that long). How could people who cant even manage basic communication ever hope to compete with me?

On the flip side, theres going to be a lot of useless eaters that the rest of us have to pay tax for to keep alive.

[NotAllThere]

Long version:

"I'm currently on route to Flamingo Land. I'm so excited over the prospect, that I think I might develop stress incontinence! Seriously, I'm finding it difficult to believe I've ended up in a situation where I'm obliged to sit on this bus for two hours with Michelle (who is dumb) and Johnny (who is dumber). I shall opt to wear my headphones thoughout the entire jaunt. Felicitations and love to you and your entire family.".

Short version:

"I am a complete and utter pillock".

[cojak]

Long version:

"I'm currently on route to Flamingo Land. I'm so excited over the prospect, that I think I might develop stress incontinence! Seriously, I'm finding it difficult to believe I've ended up in a situation where I'm obliged to sit on this bus for two hours with Michelle (who is dumb) and Johnny (who is dumber). I shall opt to wear my headphones thoughout the entire jaunt. Felicitations and love to you and your entire family.".

Short version:

"I am a complete and utter pillock".

Just showing that he's down wit da yoot.

And refusing to acknowledge that he's becoming an old fart.

[Gentile]

Person I went to school with so are my age (31) has just posted this on facebook:

On rout 2 flamingo land that exsited fink i mite peepee me pant's jus cannie believe got 2 sit on this bus 4 2 hour's wi chels(dumb) n jonny(dumber) . Ed fone's in all dee way bby x

Can someone please translate so I can see if they are just a dumbass or they have had a stroke.

Can anyone do any worse?

It is pretty illegible, but to be fair I've had some requirements from "Business Analysts" that were even less clear than that.

Of course, BAs use un-annotated UML instead of txt spk, but they're just as terse, ambiguous and unfathomable.

[suityou01]

It is pretty illegible, but to be fair I've had some requirements from "Business Analysts" that were even less clear than that.

Of course, BAs use un-annotated UML instead of txt spk, but they're just as terse, ambiguous and unfathomable.

You're quite a laugh aren't you

[doodab]

Why have you facebooked someone who has failed at life so badly they have to get the bus to flamingo world?

[Gentile]

You're quite a laugh aren't you

If you'd put a little stick drawing of an 'actor' that resembled a character from XKCD holding its sides instead of the above, I'd have deduced that you were a BA that was into UML spk.

[SimonMac]

Why have you facebooked someone who has failed at life so badly they have to get the bus to flamingo world?

Why else, to make me feel smug and superior!?