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ScotsPine
22nd June 2005, 12:01
dear lord, what bright spark put that raving incompetent in that position? you have to feel sorry for the 'poor people' of this wonderful country of ours.

Lucifer Box
22nd June 2005, 12:08
Did you hear her being interviewed on the Today programme this morning? She sounded as though she was on drugs or something - slurred speech, incoherent, clearly knew nothing about the subject other than the two soundbites her PPS gave her on the way to the studio... it was only the fact that she was being interviewed by James "Soft Touch" Naughtie that let her off the hook. John Humphrys would have eaten her alive.

threaded
22nd June 2005, 12:10
Is it not one of the tenants of socialism that them that don't work don't eat? This "family tax credits" is only a cover so bleeding heart middle class types don't get all weepey over making the lower orders lives a living nightmare. I hear a good few ended up having to live on Red Cross food parcels.

Even though yer average marxist would like to think it, Maggie would never have done such a thing.

HTH

|I

fiddleabout
22nd June 2005, 12:15
Is this the first time you've heard Dim Prawn being interviewed?

If so I bet it was quite an eye opener but for those who have witnessed her performances before just another confirmation that "Dim" isn't just juxtapositioning.

I suspect she gives a mean BJ.

Lucifer Box
22nd June 2005, 12:20
Is this the first time you've heard Dim Prawn being interviewed?
It was, and I was shocked. I genuinely thought she was drunk.

ScotsPine
22nd June 2005, 12:28
i was astounded this morning when i heard her. she really was 'let off the hook' by the weak questioning. and she came across as a dithering imbecile but full of good old new liebore care_and_concern and after all isn't that what really matters? i wonder how many millions it costs to distribute our taxes in these 'tax credits'? i wonder how many millions more it might cost to recover same? oh hang on, new liebore are considering writing off the overpayments. well that's nice, isn't it? aren't they deep down caring?

bumbling and overpaid cretins who use our money to pay the pr companies large sums to cover their imbecile arses. grrr

Lucifer Box
22nd June 2005, 12:33
i wonder how many millions it costs to distribute our taxes in these 'tax credits'? i wonder how many millions more it might cost to recover same?
That's the irony of the whole thing. Just set a flat tax kicking in at, say, £12k and take all these poor buggers who can only afford to go to McDonald's three times a week out of the tax system altogether.

Still, that's not GB's way is it? Far better to have a complex and expensive scheme than the thought that the average Joe may be able to figure out how much tax he's paying.

WageSlave1
22nd June 2005, 12:44
take all these poor buggers who can only afford to go to McDonald's three times a week

That's half the problem with this scum. For a fraction of the price they could buy basic ingredients and cook something decent. Their health and budget would improve as a result, and there would be fewer fat imbeciles waddling along the street blocking me from getting past.

Lucifer Box
22nd June 2005, 12:52
That's half the problem with this scum. For a fraction of the price they could buy basic ingredients and cook something decent.
Exactly. What's 4 x Big Mac "Meals" - not much short of £20? Even assuming these scum don't know how to cook, my local Morrison's does 2 x hot roasted chickens for £3.99. Add some potatos, carrots and cabbage - bingo, healthy nutritious meal for four with leftovers for tomorrow for not much more than a fiver.

Lucifer Box in Home Economics Mode.

IR35 Avoider
22nd June 2005, 12:55
Just set a flat tax kicking in at, say, £12k and take all these poor buggers who can only afford to go to McDonald's three times a week out of the tax system altogether

Tax credits are really a social security benefit. They are based on household (not individual) circumstances and can result in negative tax for poorer people i.e. they end up with more money than the gross salary they started with.

How about a (lowish) flat tax on all income, deducted at source by employers, banks (interest) and corporations (dividends) and in place of the personal allowance say a tenner a day "benefit" to everyone. Then change the social security system so that say no more than 1 in 100 is able to claim any other benefit. (The 1 in 100 covering people who are genuinely incapable of doing anything useful.)

DimPrawn
22nd June 2005, 12:56
and there would be fewer fat imbeciles waddling along the street blocking me from getting past.

It's okay, one of them has moved to Denmark.

WageSlave1
22nd June 2005, 13:00
healthy nutritious meal for four with leftovers for tomorrow for not much more than a fiver.

Alternatively, for about 80p, they could buy a bag of pasta. Everyone's a winner ;)

NumptyCorner
22nd June 2005, 13:03
From tax credit to home economics in one step (contractors being famous for their healthy diets)

WageSlave1
22nd June 2005, 13:09
We could get some flakey qualifications from America and set ourselves up as health experts.

Not a flake in any way whatsoever (http://www.drgillianmckeith.com/)

SupremeSpod
22nd June 2005, 13:12
(The 1 in 100 covering people who are genuinely incapable of doing anything useful.)

Why not shoot them?

They are holding back the human race after all!

NumptyCorner
22nd June 2005, 13:15
Why not shoot anyone over the age of 30? They should be dead, they have gone past their biological peak so whats the use?

WageSlave1
22nd June 2005, 13:17
Why not shoot anyone over the age of 30?

Still some class totty about after 30.

trajectory
22nd June 2005, 13:24
Why not shoot everyone UNDER the age of 30? Everyone can then move back 30 years and we put off the pensions crisis a bit longer.

People who have just retired would have 30 more years of work to stop them getting bored and being a burden on the state.

People who are now 40 would be just about to sit their 11+ (not that exists anymore).

Those of you who are 30 would get a great insight into gaenecology.

Fiddle would be back in his 30s with hair still.

Best of all DCJ wouldn't have even been thought of.

Everyone's a winnner !!

fiddleabout
22nd June 2005, 13:26
> Fiddle would be back in his 30s with hair still.

cheeky bastard - my hair is my own - I paid good money for it :)

WageSlave1
22nd June 2005, 13:26
Why not shoot everyone UNDER the age of 30?

mmmmmm....don't think I'd vote for that :rolleyes

NumptyCorner
22nd June 2005, 13:28
You miss the point, we wern't designed to live much beyond our late twenties, hence the hair loss, mussle loss, bone density loss, memory loss, fertility loss etc etc

After 30 the only thing to look forward to is decay, death and moaning.

WageSlave1
22nd June 2005, 13:30
fter 30 the only thing to look forward to is decay, death and moaning.

I'm looking forward to days spent in the park, perving at young ladies :b You're never too old to look ;)

Ardesco
22nd June 2005, 13:34
what about bionic implants, we have to be getting closer.... In 50 years i'm gonna be mighty pissed if they aren't available just as i need them!!!!!

Lucifer Box
22nd June 2005, 13:36
After 30 the only thing to look forward to is decay, death and moaning.
Welcome to Contractor UK!

Lucifer Box
22nd June 2005, 13:40
Alternatively, for about 80p, they could buy a bag of pasta
What's pastoh? Is it like micro-chips?

The dull feckers would probably complain it was too crunchy.

WageSlave1
22nd June 2005, 13:47
The dull feckers would probably complain it was too crunchy.

Good point. I suppose there is always pasta shapes in tomato soup; comes in a tin, full of cr@p, shaped like a turkey's knob - ideal for them.

Perhaps instead of wasting our time trying to improve their lot, we should simply pump even more chemical cr@p into their processed food, to speed up their early deaths.

Lucifer Box
22nd June 2005, 13:49
I suppose there is always pasta shapes in tomato soup
How about Alphabetti Spaghetti? Handily combines an adult literacy class with dinner.

TonyEnglish
22nd June 2005, 13:50
I'm for introducing a new Paraquat flavour pot noodle.

WageSlave1
22nd June 2005, 13:54
How about Alphabetti Spaghetti? Handily combines an adult literacy class with dinner.

Lucifer, you've done it once again; a prince amongst men.

BobTheCrate
22nd June 2005, 14:01
Just set a flat tax kicking in at, say, £12kExactly. By far the most effective way and immeasurably cheaper to administer because the mechanisms are already in place.

The Tax Credit system is a complete nonsense. It's only benefit is to those who were paid to design it and to those who are paid to run it.

* Before there was the married person's allowance. This allowance recognised the household. It worked fine. Then Gordon Brown scrapped it.

* Before there was mortgage interest tax relief. This allowance recognised the household. It worked fine. Then Gordon Brown scrapped it.

* We still have Tax free pay ... just. It works fine when supported. Then Gordon Brown freezes its upper threshold forcing many people into paying more tax than they did.

Then Gordon Brown invents, commissions and creates a ginormous organ of governmental bureaucracy called Tax Credits, costing many hundreds of millions just to administer. Supposedly to give back to people what they never used to pay in first place.

This grossly over plugged showpiece of New Labour ingenuity calculates an effective tax rebate not based on current earnings but on the previous year's earnings. A system actually designed to work on out of date data. A system designed according to the infamous 'JabberJobby school of design & management' principles.

I suspect it is at long last becoming more and more apparent to people, that Gordon Brown's arrogance is not matched by any noticeable ability.

And poor old Dawn Primarolo. Same tired old Gucci shoes and same old knickers with the C&A label. The poor cow hasn't got a clue and never did.

Lucifer Box
22nd June 2005, 14:08
Lucifer, you've done it once again; a prince amongst men.
They don't call me the Prince of Darkness for nothing. ;)

Lucifer in "confirming Chico's suspicions" mode.

BobTheCrate
22nd June 2005, 14:10
Lucifer ... Prince of Darkness ... otherwise known as George Spriggett.

Name that film anyone .... and claim your £5
Every wrong guess increases the amount by £1

ScotsPine
22nd June 2005, 14:13
"Dawn Primarolo was appointed Paymaster General on 4th January 1999. She has strategic oversight [dear god] of taxation as a whole [oh dear], including overall responsibility for the Finance Bill [lord help us all], closer working between Inland Revenue and Customs & Excise [buddy holly, 'that'll be the *** day], and European and international tax issues [vague enough to give a new sense to 'meaningless'].

Member of Parliament for Bristol South since 1987, she was educated at Thomas Bennett Comprehensive in Crawley, Bristol Polytechnic and Bristol University.

<<<She has a BA (Hons) Social Science Degree.>>> :|


Before entering Parliament, she was a member of Avon County Council from 1985 to 1987.

In Opposition, she was front bench spokesperson on health from 1992 to 1994, and Treasury and economic affairs between 1994 and 1997. She was appointed Financial Secretary to the Treasury on 4th May 1997.

Born in 1954, she is married with one son. Her interests include gardening and opera. She is Patron of The Royal Chelsea Hospital, The Terrence Higgins Trust, Knowle West Against Drugs and Life Skills Project."


i'm ...... speechless....

DimPrawn
22nd June 2005, 14:16
A fine example of a New Lie drone. A Talentless, unappealing, meddling @#%$ of the lowest order.

hattra
22nd June 2005, 14:20
we wern't designed to live much beyond our late twenties, hence the hair loss, mussle loss, bone density loss, memory loss, fertility loss etc etc

Speak for yourself, pal. 30 is but a distant memory and I've still got all my own hair, a daughter in primary school, and I can remember how to spell muscle.

Sheesh - the kids of today

NumptyCorner
22nd June 2005, 14:24
Speak for yourself, pal. 30 is but a distant memory and I've still got all my own hair, a daughter in primary school, and I can remember how to spell muscle.

You can't argue against nature, you have served your purpose .


Sheesh- are you American?

Lucifer Box
22nd June 2005, 14:26
A fine example of a New Lie drone. A Talentless, unappealing, meddling @#%$ of the lowest order.
But you'd still give her one, no? :p

WageSlave1
22nd June 2005, 14:43
But you'd still give her one, no?

All this talk of totty slopping....I'm off to touch myself...

hattra
22nd June 2005, 14:48
Sheesh- are you American

I speak both English and American :b

TonyEnglish
22nd June 2005, 15:00
"Lucifer ... Prince of Darkness ... otherwise known as George Spriggett"

Bedazzeled with Peter Cook and Dudley Moor.

NumptyCorner
22nd June 2005, 15:05
I speak both English and American

Ezboard only speaks american hence Mussle DUDE.

TonyEnglish
22nd June 2005, 15:12
"European and international tax issues [vague enough to give a new sense to 'meaningless']."

That is only in there so that she can justify jaunts around the world at our expense for various 'fact finding' missions.

wendigo100
22nd June 2005, 15:14
How about Alphabetti Spaghetti? Handily combines an adult literacy class with dinner.
Dyslexics don't get the full benefit of Alphabetti Spaghetti.

By the way, how did pasta get a reputation as a healthy food? In most cases, it is no better than peeled spuds and white bread.

sasguru
22nd June 2005, 15:20
Red Dawn is one of the most annoying "personalities" in NL.
She is obviously not qualified to do the job with a BA in Soc. Sci. So how did she get it?

I reckon she has something on old Tone and has been given the job to keep her quiet. :rolleyes

WageSlave1
22nd June 2005, 15:20
By the way, how did pasta get a reputation as a healthy food? In most cases, it is no better than peeled spuds and white bread.

I never claimed it was healthy, only cheap.

PRC1964
22nd June 2005, 15:23
how did pasta get a reputation as a healthy food
Because Italians don't die (as often) of heart disease. They all die of lung cancer or in car crashes.

We all die of heart attacks, so pasta is good.

Welcome to the world of New Liebore.

NumptyCorner
22nd June 2005, 15:40
When the day is dawning
On a Swindon Sunday morning
How I long to be there
With Dawn who's waiting for me there
Every lonely city where I hang my hat
Ain't as half as pretty as where my baby's at

Is this the way to Primarolo ?
Every night she steals my last Rolo,
Dreaming dreams of substitution
and test case law to save my skin

Show me the way to Primarolo
at this rate I'll be on the dole o
Crying over Primarolo
Where Hector sits in wait for me

Substitution la la lala lalala
MOO la la lala lalala
Go direct ha ha haha hahaha
And sweet FA in the bank account

There's an alarm bell ringing
Hear the song of Hector that it's singing
For the sweet Dawn
And the guy who's coming to inspect for her

It's beyond the pale, she's a blatent kunt
And she keeps me working through the wind and rain

Is this the way to Primarolo....

Lucifer Box
22nd June 2005, 16:10
They all die of lung cancer or in car crashes.
So there's hope for Franco yet?

DimPrawn
22nd June 2005, 16:18
Song for Dawn:

He'll be your taxloss lover from Liverpool
Taxloss lover if the truth be told
Taxloss lover still lives in the War
Taxloss lover touching 74
Ah, come back to me
We want your money, taxloss
We think you are stupid
We give you money 'cos our assets are fluid yeah
We'll sell you down the river
Just remember that we said we'd deliver you

Sign on the line and we'll give you the money
And then you'll be mine and we'll fly somewhere sunny
And you'll quibble that our drivel seems unsatifactory
You're a taxloss, come back to me
We want your money, taxloss

He'll be your taxloss lover and his name is Bert
Taxloss lover and he's always a flirt
Your taxloss lover into kinky sex
Your taxloss lover wears a cracking dress

Sign on the line and we'll give you the money
And then you'll be mine and we'll fly somewhere sunny
You'll quibble that our drivel seems unsatifactory
We're a taxloss, come back to me
We want your money, taxloss

Sign on the line and we'll give you the money
And then you'll be mine and we'll fly somewhere sunny
And you'll quibble that our drivel seems unsatifactory
A taxloss, come back to me
We want your money, taxloss

Taxloss, mod rock
Junk pop, chart hop
Mop top, swap shop
Who'd you nick your cliche off

BobTheCrate
22nd June 2005, 17:26
Spot on Tony E. Well done that man.

I guess you can claim that £5.

TonyEnglish
22nd June 2005, 17:36
An all time classic underrated film in my humble opinion and tons better than the half @rsed version that Liz Hurley was in.

Lucifer Box
22nd June 2005, 22:08
Some dickslap from the IFS was just on the BBC news saying that benefit systems have to be complex otherwise they just don't "deliver the benefits".

Knob.

mcquiggd
22nd June 2005, 22:16
Liz Hurley actually had a rather nice ass in that film. Especially when wearing the clingy red catsuit.

threaded
23rd June 2005, 06:19
Yes, and I know what benefits those are: a mountain of civil servants who'll all vote New Lie, bungs to the likes of EDS and the poor being made to pay for it all.

If they made it simpler there would actually be more money available, because they are then not wasting it on civil savants, and more poor families could be brought out of poverty.

But, oh no, can't do that in this brave new world of New Lie double think.

Stringing up from lamposts is too good for 'em.

WageSlave1
23rd June 2005, 08:47
Liz Hurley actually had a rather nice ass in that film. Especially when wearing the clingy red catsuit.

Check out the 1987 film 'Aria'; it features a young Liz ;)

Lucifer Box
23rd June 2005, 08:49
Indeed, threaded.

Rather than dream up a nightmarishly complex scheme to give the low paid back the tax they pay, how about just not collecting it in the first place?

It would be an interesting exercise to see to what level the lower income tax threshold could be raised if all the money expended on processing tax credits, plus the value of the credits themselves, were put towards raising that bottom level. How ironic it would be if that exceeded the social value of implementing the scheme in the first place (which would seem almost a given).

SupremeSpod
23rd June 2005, 09:35
Liz Hurley?

I would!

I'd definitely lend her one!

Spod - In "Preparing for a move into Yarkshire" mode!

TonyEnglish
23rd June 2005, 10:18
"I'd definitely lend her one!"

At least you could tell easily if she was faking it judging from her past acting exploits.

In the remake which she was in there is a scene where she has two big dogs called pete and dud.