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sasguru
16th November 2012, 09:21
Well I was only exagerrating when I said I'd only completed the first sentence of my putative book. I've recently written the first chapter. But being a perfectionist, I keep polishing and changing.
Maybe I'm trying too hard - I don't want to create great literature, just a formulaic commercial phenomenon that makes me filthy rich.

The plot involves a police inspector in an unnamed sleep, tropical paradise who gets involved in a drugs and prostitution network run by the Albanian mafia in concert with local crooks. And so on....But the pace would be suitably sleepy, charming, whimiscal and positive, more Mme Ramotswe than Jack Reacher.


maybe I need to research a sleepy troipical paradise - get a feel for it...

mudskipper
16th November 2012, 09:32
Well I was only exagerrating when I said I'd only completed the first sentence of my putative book. I've recently written the first chapter. But being a perfectionist, I keep polishing and changing.
Maybe I'm trying too hard - I don't want to create great literature, just a formulaic commercial phenomenon that makes me filthy rich.

The plot involves a police inspector in an unnamed sleep, tropical paradise who gets involved in a drugs and prostitution network run by the Albanian mafia in concert with local crooks. And so on....But the pace would be suitably sleepy, charming, whimiscal and positive, more Mme Ramotswe than Jack Reacher.


maybe I need to research a sleepy troipical paradise - get a feel for it...

It's NaNoWriMo - pull your finger out and get on with it!

I won a prize for the first chapter of my novel. It was about a boy who wet himself. I never got past chapter 3.

sasguru
16th November 2012, 09:34
It's NaNoWriMo - pull your finger out and get on with it!

I won a prize for the first chapter of my novel. It was about a boy who wet himself. I never got past chapter 3.

If I had won a prize for the first chapter I would have pushed myself to finish it...why don't you carry on?

SupremeSpod
16th November 2012, 09:37
If I had won a prize for the first chapter I would have pushed myself to finish it...why don't you carry on?

So Sas, you're suffering from a lack of imagination and original thought.

Who'd have thought it possible...

DimPrawn
16th November 2012, 09:38
Always write about something you have first hand experience of.

How about a delusional misfit that's been diagnosed with excessive :winker: syndrome, who lives in a fantasy world due to total isolation?















Just don't use my name directly, okay?

:happy

d000hg
16th November 2012, 09:40
You probably channel all your writing time and energy into CUK. How many words a day do you write here?


Actually that would be quite a cool forum statistic to have access to, along-side posts-per-day. Has anyone ever seen a forum implement that?

sasguru
16th November 2012, 10:11
So Sas, you're suffering from a lack of imagination and original thought.

Who'd have thought it possible...

We can't all be as creative and arty-farty as you, Shakespeare.:laugh:laugh

AtW
16th November 2012, 12:02
Here is a tip that will help you:

1) Open in notepad the following file:

C:\Windows\System32\drivers\etc\hosts

2) add entry: 127.0.0.1 forums.contractoruk.com

3) save

This will help to focus...

speling bee
16th November 2012, 12:09
It's NaNoWriMo - pull your finger out and get on with it!

I won a prize for the first chapter of my novel. It was about a boy who wet himself. I never got past chapter 3.

Was he going to grow up into a comedy BA?

EternalOptimist
16th November 2012, 12:09
wow, the reviews are not looking good so far. maybe you should hire Max Clifford to help you out

sounds like one of those books that once you put it down you cant pick it up




:rolleyes:

OwlHoot
16th November 2012, 12:40
Always write about something you have first hand experience of.

How about a delusional misfit that's been diagnosed with excessive :winker: syndrome .. ?

Well he admits he has been polishing it non-stop :rolleyes:

Doggy Styles
16th November 2012, 13:10
Well I was only exagerrating when I said I'd only completed the first sentence of my putative book. I've recently written the first chapter. But being a perfectionist, I keep polishing and changing.
Maybe I'm trying too hard - I don't want to create great literature, just a formulaic commercial phenomenon that makes me filthy rich.

The plot involves a police inspector in an unnamed sleep, tropical paradise who gets involved in a drugs and prostitution network run by the Albanian mafia in concert with local crooks. And so on....But the pace would be suitably sleepy, charming, whimiscal and positive, more Mme Ramotswe than Jack Reacher.


maybe I need to research a sleepy troipical paradise - get a feel for it...Don't keep changing the first chapter.

Get on with writing the book, and only go back and change earlier chapters if your plot development demands it. As for polishing, do that at the end. A decent editor can help you there.

I assume you've planned the whole storyline, especially the ending?

sasguru
16th November 2012, 13:14
I assume you've planned the whole storyline, especially the ending?

I have an outline yes.

KentPhilip
16th November 2012, 13:15
sounds like one of those books that once you put it down you cant pick it up

:rolleyes:

Because it contains so much muck it sticks to the floor.

FiveTimes
16th November 2012, 13:18
Well I was only exagerrating when I said I'd only completed the first sentence of my putative book. I've recently written the first chapter. But being a perfectionist, I keep polishing and changing.
Maybe I'm trying too hard - I don't want to create great literature, just a formulaic commercial phenomenon that makes me filthy rich.

The plot involves a police inspector in an unnamed sleep, tropical paradise who gets involved in a drugs and prostitution network run by the Albanian mafia in concert with local crooks. And so on....But the pace would be suitably sleepy, charming, whimiscal and positive, more Mme Ramotswe than Jack Reacher.


maybe I need to research a sleepy troipical paradise - get a feel for it...

Sounds a bit like the series on the BBC a couple of months ago - Death in Paradise and for that reason I'm out

Doggy Styles
16th November 2012, 14:52
I have an outline yes.Then just write your story! This is the enjoyable part, so enjoy it. :D

TheBigD
16th November 2012, 15:32
Always write about something you have first hand experience of.

He is... although I hadn't realised he'd retired from being an Albanian prostitute.

stek
16th November 2012, 15:35
I had a piece I wrote for the late lamented Bolton Wanderers Fanzine 'Tripe 'n' Trotters' read out on Baddiel and Skinners 'Unplanned' - having a go at WBA with special reference to the Second Gulf War going on the time, Baddiel read it out live despite the team insisting on no football references being mentioned, but I saw it and heard it abd he did mention the 'clause' and read it anyway with an 'I know we're not supposed to mention football, but....'

Now, I've got all eps of Unplanned, not watched them all so I can't say, but I can't find it, so either:

1: I can't haven't found it yet and will have to keep looking

2: it was cut from DVD version.

3: It never happened.

Thinking 3: at moment....

speling bee
16th November 2012, 15:37
He is... although I hadn't realised he'd retired from being an Albanian prostitute.

He's turned amateur.

Doggy Styles
16th November 2012, 15:48
He's turned amateur.Does that mean he's got his virginity back?

mudskipper
16th November 2012, 18:58
...why don't you carry on?

Because I hadn't done this ....



I assume you've planned the whole storyline, especially the ending?

Now sorted !


Was he going to grow up into a comedy BA?

doomage
16th November 2012, 19:44
How about a Hitchcockesque story where the protagonist is an old retired guy who posts on online forums.

One day one of the other forum members describes a situation where he has to confess something to an angry violent mate.

And doesn't return.

The old fella gets a cryptic PM simply stating 'I coming for you next'.

He tries to alert the other members of the forum.

But nobody believes him, as he is generally full of tulip anyway.




You can fill out the rest.

doomage
16th November 2012, 21:33
Obviously the butler did it.

ctdctd
16th November 2012, 21:34
Obviously DimPrawn did it.

FTFY