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aussielong
19th November 2012, 08:53
I took a detour through a remote country town called Taree. It was like the wild west. 2 miles of deserted motels on the dual carriageway into town. Got into town on sunday night... Dead... Tumbleweed dead. Went into the supermarket ... Dead except for checkout staff: tattooed emo freaks with bad skin. Red neck town. Like going back 20 years to bad parts of the UK. Kicking myself-Why the hell did I pick Taree to break up my journey?!

So, what to do for the evening? I took myself off for an Indian. Two other people in the restaurant. Terrible decor, bad food.

So I set off back to my motel. Swung by the petrol station to buy some chocolate. Picked up a local paper. Straight to the classifieds. Bingo-a local brothel on an industrial estate! Got $500 bucks out of the ATM and called a taxi. 20 minutes later I've had a fat line, a beer and I'm sitting in a hot tub with a couple of Asian chicks.

That's how I'm livin'

SimonMac
19th November 2012, 08:56
I took a detour through a remote country town called Taree. It was like the wild west. 2 miles of deserted motels on the dual carriageway into town. Got into town on sunday night... Dead... Tumbleweed dead. Went into the supermarket ... Dead except for checkout staff: tattooed emo freaks with bad skin. Red neck town. Like going back 20 years to bad parts of the UK. Kicking myself-Why the hell did I pick Taree to break up my journey?!

So, what to do for the evening? I took myself off for an Indian. Two other people in the restaurant. Terrible decor, bad food.

So I set off back to my motel. Swung by the petrol station to buy some chocolate. Picked up a local paper. Straight to the classifieds. Bingo-a local brothel on an industrial estate! Got $500 bucks out of the ATM and called a taxi. 20 minutes later I've had a fat line, a beer and I'm sitting in a hot tub with a couple of Asian chicks.

That's how I'm livin'

You mean paying people to be your friends while taking mind altering chemicals to alleviate the boredom of your hum drum life?

Rock on mate! :music:

Lockhouse
19th November 2012, 09:02
So I set off back to my motel. Swung by the petrol station to buy some chocolate. Picked up a local paper. Straight to the classifieds. Bingo-a local brothel on an industrial estate! Got $500 bucks out of the ATM and called a taxi. 20 minutes later I've had a fat line, a beer and I'm sitting in a hot tub with a couple of Asian chicks.

That's how I'm livin'

I feel sorry for you. Seriously.

aussielong
19th November 2012, 09:06
It got worse. We got raided by a bike gang. They came in and robbed everyone. I was left outside on the street naked with a viagra boner that wasn't going anywhere.

What I did next I am not proud of.

tractor
19th November 2012, 09:13
I took a detour through a remote country town called Taree. It was like the wild west. 2 miles of deserted motels on the dual carriageway into town. Got into town on sunday night... Dead... Tumbleweed dead. Went into the supermarket ... Dead except for checkout staff: tattooed emo freaks with bad skin. Red neck town. Like going back 20 years to bad parts of the UK. Kicking myself-Why the hell did I pick Taree to break up my journey?!

So, what to do for the evening? I took myself off for an Indian. Two other people in the restaurant. Terrible decor, bad food.

So I set off back to my motel. Swung by the petrol station to buy some chocolate. Picked up a local paper. Straight to the classifieds. Bingo-a local brothel on an industrial estate! Got $500 bucks out of the ATM and called a taxi. 20 minutes later I've had a fat line, a beer and I'm sitting in a hot tub with a couple of Asian chicks.

That's how I'm livin'

I stopped at the word tumbleweed ...:tumble:

eek
19th November 2012, 09:21
It got worse. We got raided by a bike gang. They came in and robbed everyone. I was left outside on the street naked with a viagra boner that wasn't going anywhere.

What I did next I am not proud of.

Did they kill you? Thats a shame, clearly they didn't spend any time with you.

DodgyAgent
19th November 2012, 09:41
It got worse. We got raided by a bike gang. They came in and robbed everyone. I was left outside on the street naked with a viagra boner that wasn't going anywhere.

What I did next I am not proud of.

:laugh:laugh:laugh

Bunk
19th November 2012, 09:45
You mean paying people to be your friends while taking mind altering chemicals to alleviate the boredom of your hum drum life?

Rock on mate! :music:

To be fair to Aussieloser, some of those little tulipholes in the middle of nowhere are unbearable without mind-altering drugs. I stopped off at a service station crossing the Nullabor and my friend kept nudging me as we were being served. It was only as I was turning to leave that I noticed she was trying to point my attention to the dozen or so criss-cross scars on each arm of the girl serving us. Made me think about what it would be like to live somewhere like that.

cojak
19th November 2012, 09:46
He does have some stories to tell doesn't he? :laugh

d000hg
19th November 2012, 10:07
It takes bravery to tell a bunch of guys you have to use Viagra to get it up for a hooker.

SimonMac
19th November 2012, 10:13
It takes bravery to tell a bunch of guys you have to use Viagra to get it up for a hooker.

For the type of hooker you can get two, some booze and a bit of columbian marching powder all for £300 I would need all the help I can get

EternalOptimist
19th November 2012, 10:35
I like the idea that some kicks themselves because they stop at a one horse town and the supermarket is dead.

while forgetting to mention several other majorly massive reasons for regretting stopping there


'How was Taree mate ?'
'I tell you man, them whores stripped me off and got me in the tub, they got me boned up on Viagara then ten bikers kicked the door in, threw the whores out, robbed eveything and left me wet an freezing with a woody on a street in an industrial estate'
'holy moley'
'but it got worse. much much worse'
'What happened man, what did the boguns do to you?'

'er..nothing. but that supermarket man. It was dead'



:rolleyes:

d000hg
19th November 2012, 10:42
Who can't spend a night somewhere boring? Didn't you have a book?

alreadypacked
19th November 2012, 11:03
I took a detour, didn't get extended. That's how I'm livin'

FTFY

Jobserv is your friend.

sasguru
19th November 2012, 11:48
He does have some stories to tell doesn't he? :laugh

You fancy him!

Cojak and Aussie sitting in a tree.
K-I-S-S-I-N-G.

doodab
19th November 2012, 15:35
It got worse. We got raided by a bike gang. They came in and robbed everyone. I was left outside on the street naked with a viagra boner that wasn't going anywhere.

What I did next I am not proud of.

Did it involve skype?

MarillionFan
19th November 2012, 15:40
Did everyone then turn into Vampires and you had to stab a dozen in the heart with your viagra boner?

Pondlife
19th November 2012, 15:45
Oi you guys, leave hm alone.

AL, there was some poster on here a while back who was offering to run courses to turn losers into winners.

I'll see if I can find them.

MarillionFan
19th November 2012, 15:47
Puts my wild evening of retiring to the hotel bar with a book
On how Salesforce.com changed cloud computing I can tell you.

SimonMac
19th November 2012, 15:58
Oi you guys, leave hm alone.

AL, there was some poster on here a while back who was offering to run courses to turn losers into winners.

I'll see if I can find them.


You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Pondlife again.

:laugh

Couldn't +VE rep you so -VE AussieLong instead

FiveTimes
19th November 2012, 16:01
:laugh

Couldn't +VE rep you so -VE AussieLong instead

I've done it instead :D

speling bee
19th November 2012, 18:45
I took a detour through a remote country town called Taree. It was like the wild west. 2 miles of deserted motels on the dual carriageway into town. Got into town on sunday night... Dead... Tumbleweed dead. Went into the supermarket ... Dead except for checkout staff: tattooed emo freaks with bad skin. Red neck town. Like going back 20 years to bad parts of the UK. Kicking myself-Why the hell did I pick Taree to break up my journey?!

So, what to do for the evening? I took myself off for an Indian. Two other people in the restaurant. Terrible decor, bad food.

So I set off back to my motel. Swung by the petrol station to buy some chocolate. Picked up a local paper. Straight to the classifieds. Bingo-a local brothel on an industrial estate! Got $500 bucks out of the ATM and called a taxi. 20 minutes later I've had a fat line, a beer and I'm sitting in a hot tub with a couple of Asian chicks.

That's how I'm livin'

How much is $500 in sterling? Where is OH when you finally need him?

NickFitz
19th November 2012, 19:06
Who can't spend a night somewhere boring? Didn't you have a book?

He did, but the biker gang coloured it in.

mudskipper
19th November 2012, 19:38
You fancy him!

Cojak and Aussie sitting in a tree.
K-I-S-S-I-N-G.

Careful - the last matchmaking thread got pulled.

speling bee
19th November 2012, 19:48
Careful - the last matchmaking thread got pulled.

Just like cojak, then.

aussielong
19th November 2012, 21:55
He does have some stories to tell doesn't he? :laugh

PM me

x

aussielong
19th November 2012, 22:04
Oi you guys, leave hm alone.

AL, there was some poster on here a while back who was offering to run courses to turn losers into winners.

I'll see if I can find them.

"Oi you guys"!.. Do you think of this forum as an office, or a friendly social club?

Let me help, it's more like One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest.

Get creative dude! Rise and amplify!

aussielong
19th November 2012, 22:06
He did, but the biker gang coloured it in.

Bikie, not biker.

SimonMac
19th November 2012, 22:27
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ov00RrHLnKU/T0UmktROFtI/AAAAAAAAAZ0/PFV_RhvTVTE/s1600/biker+gangs+gas+prices+dr+heckle+funny+fail+photos .jpg

Wasn't mudskipper after a new bike?