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Caught an intruder in my house at 5am this morning.

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    Caught an intruder in my house at 5am this morning.

    Woke up at 5 to hear someone on landing outside bedroom, and bathroom light go on and off.
    Told my wife "there's someone here" , went outside (naked) walked about the house saw nothing, but heard a dash.
    Got back up stairs for my clothes, to go back downstairs to grab a didgeridoo for a weapon and found a 25-30 year old, well groomed, well spoken lad curled up in a ball behind my seat. (only way is essex looking)

    I got into a position where I could easily kick him , stood over him and asked him (almost laughing for some reason) what he thought he was doing and how he got in. He texted on his iphone a bit!! then said "the upstairs girls bedroom". I don't have children, its my pets room - but I didn't like that.

    I didnt believe he could get in that way, so I walked over to check if a window was broken and he just upped and left through the front door. We called the cops, who lifted him - then 3 came round to speak to us.

    They reckon he was "just a drunk" who was seeing the daughter next door , and he was saying he got in the wrong house.

    I had to ask the coppers to validate this by waking up the neighbours, and the lass there said she told him he wasn't welcome.

    The cops reckon there's not a lot we can do, its a shift change and a new policewoman turns up a little later to take a statement.

    She knew nothing of the incident before, but we gave a statement and she said she'd definately charge him (of course).

    Then, 1 hour later - the station call my wife to say they've spoken to the guy in custody and told him that she didn't want him in her house and was out drinking with him last night (meaning my wife). Very wrong!! It's the neighbours daughter next door.

    Don't they do any handover, on a shift change? Long story short, looks like they want to charge for trespass with sexual intent, rather than burglary - but I don't have any grounds for that... But that said , I hate the fact he's come in and worry about what he'd do if he didn't have me to face him (if my wife was alone, or it was a childs bedroom like he thought).

    Still got into work tho! But buzzing on adrenelin after a crazy night. oh and the burglar definately saw me stark bollard naked.

    #2
    In America you would have pumped six big ones into him.

    No that doesn't sound right......

    Comment


      #3
      So how did he get into your house?

      Comment


        #4
        So how DID he get in?
        Originally posted by MaryPoppins
        I'd still not breastfeed a nazi
        Originally posted by vetran
        Urine is quite nourishing

        Comment


          #5
          God, this kind of thing really gets my goat.

          You caught an intruder in your house at 5am today.

          Or perhaps you caught him at 5 this morning.

          Not both.
          Practically perfect in every way....there's a time and (more importantly) a place for malarkey.
          +5 Xeno Cool Points

          Comment


            #6
            Originally posted by Scoobos View Post
            Woke up at 5 to hear someone on landing outside bedroom, and bathroom light go on and off.
            Told my wife "there's someone here" , went outside (naked) walked about the house saw nothing, but heard a dash.
            Got back up stairs for my clothes, to go back downstairs to grab a didgeridoo for a weapon and found a 25-30 year old, well groomed, well spoken lad curled up in a ball behind my seat. (only way is essex looking)

            I got into a position where I could easily kick him , stood over him and asked him (almost laughing for some reason) what he thought he was doing and how he got in. He texted on his iphone a bit!! then said "the upstairs girls bedroom". I don't have children, its my pets room - but I didn't like that.

            I didnt believe he could get in that way, so I walked over to check if a window was broken and he just upped and left through the front door. We called the cops, who lifted him - then 3 came round to speak to us.

            They reckon he was "just a drunk" who was seeing the daughter next door , and he was saying he got in the wrong house.

            I had to ask the coppers to validate this by waking up the neighbours, and the lass there said she told him he wasn't welcome.

            The cops reckon there's not a lot we can do, its a shift change and a new policewoman turns up a little later to take a statement.

            She knew nothing of the incident before, but we gave a statement and she said she'd definately charge him (of course).

            Then, 1 hour later - the station call my wife to say they've spoken to the guy in custody and told him that she didn't want him in her house and was out drinking with him last night (meaning my wife). Very wrong!! It's the neighbours daughter next door.

            Don't they do any handover, on a shift change? Long story short, looks like they want to charge for trespass with sexual intent, rather than burglary - but I don't have any grounds for that... But that said , I hate the fact he's come in and worry about what he'd do if he didn't have me to face him (if my wife was alone, or it was a childs bedroom like he thought).

            Still got into work tho! But buzzing on adrenelin after a crazy night. oh and the burglar definately saw me stark bollard naked.
            Well if Plod run to form, expect a knock on the door later on and being charged for indecently exposing yourself to a minor.

            “The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”

            Comment


              #7
              he did get in through one of those small "top windows" on the top floor of the house, by using a ledge above the front door.

              Comment


                #8
                Originally posted by MaryPoppins View Post

                You caught an intruder in your house at 5am today.

                Or perhaps you caught him at 5 this morning.
                Strictly speaking, he didn't catch him as he just upped and walked out the door. The Police caught him.

                HTH

                “The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”

                Comment


                  #9
                  Originally posted by MaryPoppins View Post
                  God, this kind of thing really gets my goat.

                  You caught an intruder in your house at 5am today.

                  Or perhaps you caught him at 5 this morning.

                  Not both.
                  You try dealing with a burglar at 5am and posting gramatically perfect posts on an anonymous forum. Time and place for

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Originally posted by zeitghost
                    WTS.

                    At least the ZeitBurglar was a) female b) high on something and c) safely outside the house.
                    Didn't she steal a pie or something?

                    Comment

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