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Keep Portland Weird

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    Keep Portland Weird

    Part one of the annual Buggeridge tax free Christmas extravaganza comes from The Cove Inn, Chiswell on the Royal Manor of Portland.

    And what a windswept entrance we made as I struggled to wrest the door from the teeth of a force 8 gale. I almost felt like announcing to the assembled throng of rosey cheeked revellers that "I've never known a night quite like it" (anyone remember what that advert was?) but I was stopped in my tracks by landlady Moira who held me in her stern gaze; a look almost as grim as the prison cell door that doubled as the front door to the pub. It came from HMP The Verne, Moira informed me, adding that if there was any nonsense from my party she was sure that her son, who works as a warder at that establishment, would be happy to provide us with accommodation for the night.

    Then there was daughter Nancy, a brassy young lass if I've ever seen one. They're like chalk and cheese are our Nancy and Moira. Nancy could barely contain her mirth when I asked her if she could do me a knickerbocker glory when she enquired what I would like for dessert and she cocquetishly flaunted her decollotage as she enquired as to how much I ice cream I
    wanted. Two scoops of course!

    Presently, she returned and she fell about laughing when I asked her if she knew the Latin name for the cape gooseberies adorning my dessert. 'Tis awfully rude you see, it do sound just like syphilis...

    Anyway, what a girl. About to make old Moira a proud grandmother soon.
    Hopefully my next visit will coincide with feeding time

    By the way, a word of caution to any CUKers who are planning on visting
    Portland. Don't mention rabbits - they hate rabbits on Portland because
    their burrows collapse the stone mines...

    ...and don't expect to rub shoulders with the Islington Luvvie twitterati
    set that seem to have overrun many other coastal resorts on the south
    coast. They want to keep Portland weird, as evidenced by the stickers on
    the backs of many of the cars on the island. And good luck to 'em I say.
    Last edited by Malcolm Buggeridge; 12 December 2012, 08:54.

    #2
    Well done Malc - you have certainly done your bit to keep Portland weird

    Comment


      #3
      Hi Malc. I haven't been to Chiswell beach, it sounds properly weird.

      However, I went up Portland Bill a few years ago, so I did my bit.

      Comment


        #4
        You haven't even bothered to sort the line breaks when you cut and pasted

        I don't think your heart is really in this anymore is it Malc?

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          #5
          Originally posted by Doggy Styles View Post

          However, I went up Portland Bill a few years ago, so I did my bit.
          Is that like going up the Oxo Tower?
          Brexit is having a wee in the middle of the room at a house party because nobody is talking to you, and then complaining about the smell.

          Comment


            #6
            Originally posted by Doggy Styles View Post
            Hi Malc. I haven't been to Chiswell beach, it sounds properly weird.

            However, I went up Portland Bill a few years ago, so I did my bit.
            Chesil Beach

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              #7
              Originally posted by Doggy Styles View Post
              Hi Malc. I haven't been to Chiswell beach, it sounds properly weird.

              However, I went up Portland Bill a few years ago, so I did my bit.
              Hi there DS.

              Interesting thing I learned about Portland Bill (and indeed, bills in general).

              A bill, as a geographical feature, is so called because its profile resembles that of the bill of a bird, i.e. high at the landward end sloping down to the seaward end.

              The charming landlord of the Pulpit Inn, Portland Bill, enlightened me with this little nugget.

              Comment


                #8
                Originally posted by Bathing With Peter View Post
                Chesil Beach
                Is it? Oops! I wasn't sure so I just copied.

                Isn't it famous for its dinosaurs and expensive beach huts?

                Comment


                  #9
                  Originally posted by Doggy Styles View Post
                  Is it? Oops! I wasn't sure so I just copied.

                  Isn't it famous for its dinosaurs and expensive beach huts?
                  Has anyone ever bought a beach hut in Portland or a similar location?

                  I was always wondering what you get for your money.

                  Tens of thousands of pounds (>100k in Southwold!) seems a lot of money for a garden shed.

                  Do you get to own the plot it satnds on or something?

                  Comment

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