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Indoor Fireworks

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    Indoor Fireworks

    Years ago, a box of indoor fireworks would always feature as the post prandial entertainment at the annual Buggeridge Christmas dinner.

    Now that those miserable health and safety scrooges have declared them illegal, we have had to come up with other forms of diversion but a chance meeting with an old chum at the Cock and Bottle last night has given me an idea of how to recreate those indoor pyrotechnics of Buggeridge Christmases past.

    You see, according to my pal, all one needs is a box of ameretti biscuits or, more precisely, the wax paper wrappers in which they are enclosed.

    Take one of these wrappers, flatten it out and form a cylinder. Stand the paper cylinder on the dining table, and set light to the top of it with a match.

    Before the flames reach the bottom of the cylinder, the whole thing will lift off and form a floating "ring of fire" just like those indoor fireworks of yesteryear.


    (A similar effect can be achieved by setting light to a paper party hat and is all the more amusing when said paper hat is perched atop the head of your great aunt).

    #2
    Originally posted by Malcolm Buggeridge View Post

    Take one of these wrappers, flatten it out and form a cylinder. Stand the paper cylinder on the dining table, and set light to the top of it with a match.
    Rizlas also do this. Mind you, we have no problem getting indoor fireworks here: Amazon.de: Tischfeuerwerk
    Brexit is having a wee in the middle of the room at a house party because nobody is talking to you, and then complaining about the smell.

    Comment


      #3
      Originally posted by darmstadt View Post
      Rizlas also do this. Mind you, we have no problem getting indoor fireworks here: Amazon.de: Tischfeuerwerk
      Ooh, I may have to look into that.

      Wonder if I could order some and have them sent to the UK?

      Comment


        #4
        Originally posted by Malcolm Buggeridge View Post
        Ooh, I may have to look into that.

        Wonder if I could order some and have them sent to the UK?
        Easier to fly over and carry them back in your hand luggage.

        Comment


          #5
          Originally posted by Malcolm Buggeridge View Post
          Ooh, I may have to look into that.

          Wonder if I could order some and have them sent to the UK?
          Through the post? Hmmmm... how about just this: Amazon.co.uk: table firewroks
          Brexit is having a wee in the middle of the room at a house party because nobody is talking to you, and then complaining about the smell.

          Comment


            #6
            Originally posted by BrilloPad View Post
            Easier to fly over and carry them back in your hand luggage.
            They won't even let you take Christmas crackers in your hand luggage
            Brexit is having a wee in the middle of the room at a house party because nobody is talking to you, and then complaining about the smell.

            Comment


              #7
              Originally posted by darmstadt View Post
              Through the post? Hmmmm... how about just this: Amazon.co.uk: table firewroks
              Fantastic. They've obviously been unbanned!

              Comment


                #8
                You can get weedkiller (sodium chlorate), sugar and matches in the UK. Spread liberally on the kitchen table and ignite.

                Best indoor fireworks ever. Really. And totally safe
                Me, me, me...

                Comment


                  #9
                  Originally posted by darmstadt View Post
                  They won't even let you take Christmas crackers in your hand luggage


                  They will be banning heroin next.

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Plugging a fuse in Malcolm Buggeridge's arse and setting fire to it also provides the same effects.

                    Comment

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