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New Hairdo

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    New Hairdo

    Some advice required please - I have been temporarily disfigured whilst trying to light my granny's Esse cooker earlier today and I need input from some of the CUK ladies on how to employ cosmetics to restore my former appearance (or at least, the illusion thereof).

    Let me explain, an Esse is much like an Aga or Rayburn and is powered by solid fuel. My granny burns logs on hers and has recently purchased a load that is not particularly well seasoned. Consequently, she has had problems keeping her fire going and I've been summoned on a number of occasions, each of which has ended with me on my knees, poker in hand dripping with sweat.

    Well, today I didn't feel I had the energy for it so I emptied half a gallon of paraffin into her box, struck a match and WOOF! I found myself momentarily engulfed by a huge fireball which burned both my eyebrows off. Not only that, I lost most of the hair at the front of my head with a remaining central section tapering down to a V at the forehead - leaving me with a hairdo known in times gone by as a "widow's peak".

    I am terribly distraught about this as I have to go and pick up Malc from Bath Spa later this evening and I am anxious as to what effect my appearance will have on him. I am also starting at a new client co tomorrow and don't want to feel self conscious on my first day.

    I'm guessing I could use mascara to paint on some fake eyebrows, what about the hairline? Any advice would be most welcome.

    #2
    Originally posted by gricerboy View Post
    Some advice required please -

    My granny burns logs on hers and has recently purchased a load that is not particularly well seasoned. Consequently, she has had problems keeping her fire going and I've been summoned on a number of occasions, each of which has ended with me on my knees, poker in hand dripping with sweat.

    Well, today I didn't feel I had the energy for it so I emptied half a gallon of paraffin into her box, struck a match and WOOF!
    Join IPSE

    Comment


      #3
      Just wear a paper bag over your head. If anyone asks just say you are a suicide bomber and trying to hide your nervousness.

      HTH

      Comment


        #4
        Your best post to date. The fact that the others were tulipe should not dampen this praise.

        Comment


          #5
          Jesus !! Who would ever think of having sex with their own granny ?? You utterly filthy
          Vote Corbyn ! Save this country !

          Comment


            #6
            Strange how MTT and gricer both reappear on the same day
            Brexit is having a wee in the middle of the room at a house party because nobody is talking to you, and then complaining about the smell.

            Comment


              #7



              HTH
              How fortunate for governments that the people they administer don't think

              Comment


                #8
                One of these masks and he'd never notice:

                Brexit is having a wee in the middle of the room at a house party because nobody is talking to you, and then complaining about the smell.

                Comment


                  #9
                  Originally posted by administrator View Post
                  Your best post to date. The fact that the others were tulipe should not dampen this praise.
                  Oh, I thought you also liked my post that got us into trouble with the Youth Rail Enthusiasts Association

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Originally posted by gricerboy View Post
                    Oh, I thought you also liked my post that got us into trouble with the Youth Rail Enthusiasts Association
                    Must admit that one was amusing too

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