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xoggoth
21st June 2005, 14:14
I like being at home sponging on the wife and making pocket money from pictures of worms and squirrels.

Had a phone interview on Friday which I thought I had most satifyingly bolloxed up but agency has just phoned to say the client wants to know my availability. Taken completely off guard I said immediate.

Any ideas re retreiving this desperate situation?

SupremeSpod
21st June 2005, 14:16
Remind them about the terms of your parole...

sasguru
21st June 2005, 14:19
Just read them all Chico's posts on the phone, pretending they are your own thoughts.

Won't touch you with a bargepole, then:lol

WageSlave1
21st June 2005, 14:22
Ask them what they are wearing. Trust me, works every time ;)

thunderlizard
21st June 2005, 14:23
Factor your reluctance into your rate until you're satisfied. Every man has his price.

DimPrawn
21st June 2005, 14:25
Don't know, but don't give squirrels Viagra. It doesn't do them any good.

http://barnabys.blogs.com/photos/uncategorized/squirrel_1.jpg

HTH

trajectory
21st June 2005, 14:27
Just rock up to the interview with a copy of Readers' Slugs under your arm. Sorted.

WageSlave1
21st June 2005, 14:27
Don't know, but don't give squirrels Viagra. It doesn't do them any good.

DP, what exactly were you hoping to achieve in giving viagra to a squirrel? :eek

DimPrawn
21st June 2005, 14:29
Important scientific research, and helps pass the time.

SupremeSpod
21st June 2005, 14:30
DP, what exactly were you hoping to achieve in giving viagra to a squirrel?

Instant Loo Brush.

trajectory
21st June 2005, 14:31
DP, what exactly were you hoping to achieve in giving viagra to a squirrel?

Are you sure you're not supposed to use hamsters DP?

xoggoth
21st June 2005, 14:51
Oh bollox bollox bollox bollox! Agency just called again. I've got a contract!

IT'S NOT FAIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SupremeSpod
21st June 2005, 14:59
Is it local?

trajectory
21st June 2005, 15:03
How long has it been since the last "real" contract then, xog?

fiddleabout
21st June 2005, 15:05
> Any ideas re retreiving this desperate situation?

The first day is tricky but thereafter there should be no problem - just arrive as you normally do - 2 hours late reeking of whisky and piss. If the rate is really low and they are desperate enough to put up with that then do the same the next day but try to @#%$ yourself in the reception.

DimPrawn
21st June 2005, 15:05
How you going to run your pants UK emporium and do a contract at the same time and find time to post crap here and get drunk in the evenings?

zeitghost
21st June 2005, 16:52
Bad luck old chap... sacrifice a couple of goats, praps that'll make it better.

xoggoth
21st June 2005, 17:26
Depends what you mean traj. Last real major dosh rolling in each month was about this time 2002 but have had various odds and sods of contract work since then, last was about three months ago.

Apart from short xmas things and visits to occasional client meetings, been working mostly at home for over four years. Unfortunately this one is a typical crappy client sitey thing and l'll have to stay away in week.

Ah well, look on the bright side:

money + away from home = lotsa nice fat prossies

Except:

The missus will want to spend it all on new kitchen, new bathroom suite, power shower, new 3 piece suite etc etc bore bore. I have always managed to avoid wasting good prossie money on such tedious things by claiming lack of funds when out of contract and lack of time when in one but I sense the excuses are wearing a bit thin.

FrancoLondinium
21st June 2005, 18:08
Oh, well done Xog. Do not forget to take the p1ss out of the people without a contract now. Cheers again:D

xoggoth
21st June 2005, 18:15
Cheers Franco. As soon as I have it in writing and will not look a complete idiot if it falls through, I will of course be having a colossal sneer at all the contractless losers on this board. I can feel a huge sneer swelling inside me right now.

MarillionFan
21st June 2005, 23:32
"I will of course be having a colossal sneer at all the contractless losers on this board."

Which is of course only a small subset of a larger group known as 'losers' on this board.:rolleyes

OrangeHopper
22nd June 2005, 11:38
Congrats Xog.

You know you missed the Friday evening jaunt round the M25.