Writing mush in Valentine's cards

[Platypus]

Damn it's so difficult to come up with something meaningful, romantic and sincere.

I've gone with a Vogon love poem this year:

See, see the kind sky
Marvel at its big puce depths.
Tell me darling, do you
Wonder why the warthog ignores you?
Why its foobly stare
makes you feel groggy.
I can tell you, it is
Worried by your sniggley facial growth
That looks like vermicelli.
What's more, it knows
Your fallacious potting shed
Smells of cabbages.
Everything under the big kind sky
Asks why, why do you even bother?
You only charm pigs.

[Pondlife]

I like sleeping on the sofa. It's like camping.


Just keep telling yourself the same.

[Alias]

I went with...

The person on your left (me) you will love to the end.
The person on your right (child 2) is the one you will fight for!
The person who is before you (child 1) is magnificent and bright!
But the person inside you is strong for us all and all she loves!!!

Happy Valentine's Day!

[Platypus]

Did you include a map and a compass?

[Notascooby]

Roses are red
So is bacon
Roses smell nice
But Bacon tastes great
Mmmm bacon

[Uncle Albert]

Red wine ain't white,
White wine ain't red,
Rip off your clothes,
And jump into bed!

[TestMangler]

Wine is fine,
Whisky is quicker,
Suck on me knob,
And I'll pay you five nicker.

[Pondlife]

Wine is fine,
Whisky is quicker,
Suck on me knob,
And I'll pay you five nicker.

I've paid you to be here
Don't look at the clock
Just take your damn money
and get on my.... Nope nothing.

[Doggy Styles]

Red wine ain't white,
White wine ain't red,
Rip off your clothes,
And jump into bed!

I tried that once. She replied:

Jump into bed?
I beg your pardon!
I want to go out
And shag in the garden

[suityou01]

Roses are red,
Violets are pretty,
Stop reading this poem,
And let me suck on your titties