Retrieving an Illegal parking /abandoned (?) car in a marked parking bay

[eek]

Visiting the mistress last night (using a cheap banger my wife doesn't know about) her husband came in so I had to make my excuses in a hurry.

Unfortunately I left the car key in her flat and the mistress isn't talking to me. Any ideas how to go and retrieve the car as I don't have the key or should I not risk live and limb and just leave it to rot there.

[EternalOptimist]

Visiting the mistress last night (using a cheap banger my wife doesn't know about) her husband came in so I had to make my excuses in a hurry.

Unfortunately I left the car key in her flat and the mistress isn't talking to me. Any ideas how to go and retrieve the car as I don't have the key or should I not risk live and limb and just leave it to rot there.

Watch out for the steaming Dog Sh1te on the door handles

[woohoo]

Visiting the mistress last night (using a cheap banger my wife doesn't know about) her husband came in so I had to make my excuses in a hurry.

Unfortunately I left the car key in her flat and the mistress isn't talking to me. Any ideas how to go and retrieve the car as I don't have the key or should I not risk live and limb and just leave it to rot there.

mmm interesting one this. Why don't you collect millions of ants, all good pet shops sell them. Then using a programme of intensive reward/punishment, train the ants to lift heavy objects.

Once done you can then simply order your ants to carry your old banger home or even better to the nearest garage. Though may take a little longer for them to get the hang of a sat nav and you may be best directing them manually.

But be warned, you don't want ants in your pants!

[d000hg]

mmm interesting one this. Why don't you collect millions of ants, all good pet shops sell them. Then using a programme of intensive reward/punishment, train the ants to lift heavy objects.

Once done you can then simply order your ants to carry your old banger home or even better to the nearest garage. Though may take a little longer for them to get the hang of a sat nav and you may be best directing them manually.

But be warned, you don't want ants in your pants!

Why not just get the ants to fetch the key?

[mudskipper]

Hire yourself a traffic warden suit from a fancy dress shop. Go and look officiously at the vehicle. Hubby will come out to moan about the car in his bay. Offer to move it for fee of £100. That should cover getting a new key cut.

Simples.

[SupremeSpod]

Hire yourself a traffic warden suit from a fancy dress shop. Go and look officiously at the vehicle. Hubby will come out to moan about the car in his bay. Offer to move it for fee of £100. That should cover getting a new key cut.

Simples.

You are Mr Ben and I claim my 1974 Radio Times Annual.

[woohoo]

Why not just get the ants to fetch the key?

they aren't very good at stealth. Lifting yep, stealth no. They would be caught and stamped on, unless we teach them to fight back. But do we want that, do we...

[SupremeSpod]

they aren't very good at stealth. Lifting yep, stealth no. They would be caught and stamped on, unless we teach them to fight back. But do we want that, do we...

They produce less of a radar return than a stealth bomber which is very stealthy indeed - unless it rains and you look for where it isn't rather than where it is.

[darmstadt]

Visiting the mistress last night (using a cheap banger my wife doesn't know about) her husband came in so I had to make my excuses in a hurry.

Unfortunately I left the car key in her flat and the mistress isn't talking to me. Any ideas how to go and retrieve the car as I don't have the key or should I not risk live and limb and just leave it to rot there.

You are Brillo Pad and I claim one pair of nads...

[woohoo]

Hire yourself a traffic warden suit from a fancy dress shop. Go and look officiously at the vehicle. Hubby will come out to moan about the car in his bay. Offer to move it for fee of £100. That should cover getting a new key cut.

Simples.

mmm good solution. However, traffic wardens are widely known to be effin tulipten dicks and not helpful at all. By offering to help even for £100 the cheating no morals OP will be shown to be the opposite of a traffic warden. He will then be punched to the ground by the husband who has cottoned on to the ruse, then people passing will stop and queue up to punch the pretend traffic warden senseless.

I would agree this would be the best approach for the OP.