Am I as B*st*rd ? do I deserve to die ?

[EternalOptimist]

I have never claimed to be a nice person.
Some people here think I am a nice person because I am non-confrontational, non-political and know a few good jokes.

But they have never met my cat.

Oreo is a black and white male. We got him to replace Biscuit, because the best way to keep aggressive cats out, is to have a lion of your own.

Excepts Oreo is a faggot.

He is the gay-boy of the cat world. A total coward of an @rse licking faggotty cat.

AND...he gets stuck on the roof.

He gets stuck and he wont come down. He whines and cries and whinges, but he wont come down.

LAST WEEKEND ... jeeeeez, the neighbours stuck a note through the door 'There is a black and white cat trapped on the kitchen roof. It has been there all day, it keeps looking over the edge and cries. just letting you know. number 16'

So I waited till the missus was at work. I waited till the little faggot was trapped on the roof, I got the grandkids supersoaker from the garage, I filled it and pumped it up, I opened the rear bedroom window, then I said

'puss puss puss puss , foodies foodies. nibbles nibbles'

then when I saw his pathetic little catty-head BAM BAM.

Two hard squirts. The little faggot ran around in circles

BAM BAM.

he ran to the edge

BAM BAM.

over he went, onto the gate and down.


See, I told you it was do able. (faggot)

[Cliphead]

[stek]

I love Special Brew....

[doodab]

Yes. No.

[Platypus]

I love Special Brew....

Seems like you're not alone

[formant]

Your cat sounds a lot like one of my dogs.

Yes, my dog has gotten himself stuck on the roof before. The conservatory roof, to be precise.
He gets onto said roof by climbing around on the bedroom windowsill - inside and and outside. And then falling off.

Maybe he was raised by a cat.

[bless 'em all]

A mate of mine work in the fire service - when the little old ladies call them because a cats up the tree they come out, get the ladders out and make like they'll climb up and rescue it - then one of them takes the old lady in and makes her a cup of tea - meanwhile the hose is rolled out - two seconds of that at high pressure and the kitty either flies or gets out of the tree.

Moral of the story? Feck 'em they're only cats.

[EternalOptimist]

A mate of mine work in the fire service - when the little old ladies call them because a cats up the tree they come out, get the ladders out and make like they'll climb up and rescue it - then one of them takes the old lady in and makes her a cup of tea - meanwhile the hose is rolled out - two seconds of that at high pressure and the kitty either flies or gets out of the tree.

Moral of the story? Feck 'em they're only cats.

Exacterly.

I pointed out to the missus that you never see the skeleton of a cat stuck up a tree.

[mudskipper]

Exacterly.

I pointed out to the missus that you never see the skeleton of a cat stuck up a tree.

[cailin maith]

I have never claimed to be a nice person.
Some people here think I am a nice person because I am non-confrontational, non-political and know a few good jokes.

But they have never met my cat.

Oreo is a black and white male. We got him to replace Biscuit, because the best way to keep aggressive cats out, is to have a lion of your own.

Excepts Oreo is a faggot.

He is the gay-boy of the cat world. A total coward of an @rse licking faggotty cat.

AND...he gets stuck on the roof.

He gets stuck and he wont come down. He whines and cries and whinges, but he wont come down.

LAST WEEKEND ... jeeeeez, the neighbours stuck a note through the door 'There is a black and white cat trapped on the kitchen roof. It has been there all day, it keeps looking over the edge and cries. just letting you know. number 16'

So I waited till the missus was at work. I waited till the little faggot was trapped on the roof, I got the grandkids supersoaker from the garage, I filled it and pumped it up, I opened the rear bedroom window, then I said

'puss puss puss puss , foodies foodies. nibbles nibbles'

then when I saw his pathetic little catty-head BAM BAM.

Two hard squirts. The little faggot ran around in circles

BAM BAM.

he ran to the edge

BAM BAM.

over he went, onto the gate and down.


See, I told you it was do able. (faggot)