Demystifying Agent Speak

**eek** · 21 May 2013, 16:01

Originally posted by EvolutionSPM View Post

Loving the advert speak one, here's an agent one (apologies if duplicate)

Just about to call you
No intention of calling you and I don't want to speak to you.

Found a suitable job (then describes the opposite)
I am the office pleb and been given the task of calling round people looking for contact names (usually followed by question below)

We have a lot of companies looking for contractors, in order to avoid duplication, what companies have you applied for so far
We have no companies looking for contractors, in order to get some work in, give us some leads please?

My client like to see references on a CV

We have no companies looking for contractors, in order to get some work in, give us some leads please?

So you've dealt with amoria bond in the past

**MyUserName** · 21 May 2013, 16:14

The client thinks you are a great match and really want to meet youI'll send your cv to them after lunch

Hi, just thought I would touch base with you
Hi, just updating our database
Hi, just fishing

Hi, I hope things are going well at the client
Hi, you're not thinking of leaving are you?

I'm not sure the client will like that
I don't like that

Hi, I was just looking at your cv - could you talk me through it being as you are there?
Who the hell are you?

It's just company policy
I'm trying to pull a fast one

Okay, I will check and get back to you
F**k off, will you!!!!!

**vetran** · 21 May 2013, 16:31

I'm sorry Mike is out he is still very interested in you for that job. I will get him to give you a call
Like hell he is sitting next me wetting himself", you have more chance of Jessica Alba calling you and asking for a threesome with You & Halle Berry.

While you are here can you give me some detail of what you did and who you work with at your last too sites?

I've got my carp rod out.

**EvolutionSPM** · 21 May 2013, 16:37

Just had a phone call from another agent, I am clearly looking for contracting roles (on profile/CV) and they phone up for perm role very similar to one I have in the past. I say I am not interested and then comes this gem

<Some filler questions beforehand> If you don't mind me asking, how much were you on a perm at company x?
I am just trying to work out how much the competition pays for that job title.

Why do these people think because they work for an agency, they have the right to call up random people and ask them personal questions.

**TheFaQQer** · 21 May 2013, 16:42

Hi, this is <mumble mumble> from <mumbly mumbly> Consulting
We haven't got any jobs, this is a fishing exercise

Is this a good time to talk?
I'm going to rabbit on anyway, regardless of your reply

**TheFaQQer** · 21 May 2013, 16:54

I have a number of roles that I'm recruiting for
That number is zero

**TheFaQQer** · 21 May 2013, 16:55

What kind of work did you do at <previous client>?
I've not read your CV, nor do I even have it in front of me. Your name came up when I searched CVs for people who had worked at that client, and I'm looking for a way in.

**TheFaQQer** · 21 May 2013, 16:56

So, who were you working with there?
There is no job, I just want to know contact details of people that work there, so I get a way in.

**TheFaQQer** · 21 May 2013, 16:58

How are you finding the market?
I have no jobs, please give me some leads at previous clients

Demystifying Agent Speak