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Sexism - in action

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    Sexism - in action

    I'm working in a new role and have regular contact with a bloke whose actions are starting to make it difficult to get my job done, at times. He treats the women in the office hugely different to the men.

    Examples of recent stuff:

    - Interrupting a meeting between me and one other to lean his head round the door and say 'Mary, sweets, are we still Ok for 2pm?'. I nod and ask if he'd like to have the meeting at my desk. As I've phrased it 'Yes. Would you like to do it at my desk?' he leers in an exaggerated manner and rolls his eyes at the other person in my meeting, saying he wondered when I was going to ask.

    - Calling me [and I think, the few other women about the place] 'sweets' constantly.

    - Commenting on my clothes, make up, hair, shoes etc in the middle of 1:1 meetings.

    None of the above stuff, or the other little things he does, upset me - it just serves to constantly, and subtly undermine me. I suspect his behaviours stem from a combination of inate sexism, and the fact that he's trying to divert me away from how crap he is at his job.

    So far the only thing I've done to address it is ask politely in a meeting [between the two of us] that he please stop calling me 'sweets'. I did follow it up with a glare but he simply suggested he swap the nickname to 'honey'. I suggested that I might start to think of nicknames of my own for him, that he might not warm to either.

    Advise please, dear posters??
    Practically perfect in every way....there's a time and (more importantly) a place for malarkey.
    +5 Xeno Cool Points

    #2
    'Do you always sweat when you get excited ?'
    (\__/)
    (>'.'<)
    ("")("") Born to Drink. Forced to Work

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      #3


      Ace
      Practically perfect in every way....there's a time and (more importantly) a place for malarkey.
      +5 Xeno Cool Points

      Comment


        #4
        Hmm, difficult one.

        I've worked in all male departments and in the finance industry where this sort of behaviour is rife.

        I've found by doing exactly to them as what they are doing to you often puts them on the spot and they cut it out.

        They don't like role reversal at all, make him squirm and point out his foibles, put him down in public anything that undermines him.
        "Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask what's for lunch." - Orson Welles

        Norrahe's blog

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          #5
          Originally posted by MaryPoppins View Post
          I suggested that I might start to think of nicknames of my own for him, that he might not warm to either.
          This. Start calling him "big boy" or "throbber" or something.

          Or failing that, just give him a dressing down in the middle of the office next time he does it. Ask very loudly if he thinks he's in an episode of Ashes to Ashes and point out he's a lot more David Brent than Gene Hunt.
          While you're waiting, read the free novel we sent you. It's a Spanish story about a guy named 'Manual.'

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            #6
            Originally posted by doodab View Post
            This. Start calling him "big boy" or "throbber" or something.

            Or failing that, just give him a dressing down in the middle of the office next time he does it. Ask very loudly if he thinks he's in an episode of Ashes to Ashes and point out he's a lot more David Brent than Gene Hunt.
            Though he does sound a bit of a Gene.
            Down with racism. Long live miscegenation!

            Comment


              #7
              Originally posted by MaryPoppins View Post


              Ace

              years ago, a mate of mine worked security at Butlins in Minehead.
              Mr Bees, I think, was the nightlub, and the oldest swinger in town used to get the dollies up for the slowies.
              He used to clasp them tight and rub his semi-on into them.

              One day, the music stopped and my mate heard this exchange wirh a VERY broad scouse bird

              medallion man - 'It's ok. just a packet of swizzles that I have in my pocket'
              scouse bird -'Wassamarra , have youse ate half of them ?'


              hazard of being an attractive bird Mary.


              (\__/)
              (>'.'<)
              ("")("") Born to Drink. Forced to Work

              Comment


                #8
                Originally posted by norrahe View Post
                Hmm, difficult one.

                I've worked in all male departments and in the finance industry where this sort of behaviour is rife.

                I've found by doing exactly to them as what they are doing to you often puts them on the spot and they cut it out.

                They don't like role reversal at all, make him squirm and point out his foibles, put him down in public anything that undermines him.
                Originally posted by doodab View Post
                This. Start calling him "big boy" or "throbber" or something.

                Or failing that, just give him a dressing down in the middle of the office next time he does it. Ask very loudly if he thinks he's in an episode of Ashes to Ashes and point out he's a lot more David Brent than Gene Hunt.


                Good points. I like the idea of saying something loudly in the middle of the office - would work on a tool like him, I suspect.
                Practically perfect in every way....there's a time and (more importantly) a place for malarkey.
                +5 Xeno Cool Points

                Comment


                  #9
                  Originally posted by norrahe View Post
                  Hmm, difficult one.

                  I've worked in all male departments and in the finance industry where this sort of behaviour is rife.
                  It's the finance industry, but not retail or investment banking so it's not quite as rife I guess. I've not really experienced it properly before.

                  It's difficult to challenge it seriously without sounding like I should be wearing dugarees.
                  Practically perfect in every way....there's a time and (more importantly) a place for malarkey.
                  +5 Xeno Cool Points

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Originally posted by MaryPoppins View Post


                    Good points. I like the idea of saying something loudly in the middle of the office - would work on a tool like him, I suspect.
                    Works a charm every time.

                    Also looking him up and down in a disparaging way and grimacing at what he's wearing is always good.

                    Calling him on his behaviour and embarrassing him in public, he'll leave you alone pretty quickly
                    "Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask what's for lunch." - Orson Welles

                    Norrahe's blog

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