Are you an old fart?

[Mich the Tester]

Top 50 tell-tale signs of ageing revealed - Telegraph


How many of the 50 signs of getting old apply to you?
1. Feeling stiff
- yes, it gets stiff when I feel it

2. Groaning when you bend down
- a bit, yes

3. Saying “it wasn’t like that when I was young”
- no

4. Saying “in my day”
- never

5. Losing hair
- yes, started when I was about 15. I don't think there's a net loss though, just a migration

6. You don’t know any songs in the top ten
- no, I even know the number one. Shame I don't like it.

7. Getting more hairy – ears, eyebrows, nose, face etc
- oi, you just said 'losing hair'; which way do you want it?

8. Hating noisy pubs
- always did

9. Talking a lot about joints / ailments
- occasionally, when asked

10. Forgetting people’s names
- not if they have anything to do with my invoices

11. Choosing clothes and shoes for comfort rather than style
- no

12. Thinking policemen / teachers / doctors look really young
- no, but policemen tend to look stupid

13. Falling asleep in front of the TV
- only when Lady Tester watches soaps

14. Needing an afternoon nap
- no

15. Finding you have no idea what young people are talking about
- no

16. Struggling to use technology
- no, except MS Word

17. Losing touch with everyday technology such as tablets and televisions
- no

18. When you start complaining about more things
- no

19. Wearing your glasses around your neck
- piss off, no

20. Not remembering the name of any modern bands
- erm, a few

21. You avoid lifting heavy things due to back concerns
- oh piss off I'm not bloody 85

22. Complaining about the rubbish on television these days
- no

23. Misplacing your glasses / bag / keys etc
- yes, keys

24. You move from Radio one to Radio Two
- no, never listened to Radio One anyway

25. You start driving very slowly
- no, my car doesn't really do 'slow'

26. Preferring a night in with a board game than a night on the town
- no

27. Taking a keen interest in The Antiques Road Show
- WTF? Am I supposed to be senile?

28. You talk to colleagues who are so young they don’t know what an Opal Fruit is
- no

29. Taking slippers to friends’ houses
- no

30. Listening to the Archers
- no

31. Falling asleep after one glass of wine
- no, what a waste

32. Never going out without your coat
- no

33. Getting bed socks for Christmas and being very grateful
- no

34. When you can’t lose six pounds in two days any more
- umm, I can lose three when I go for a dump, does that count?

35. Gasping for a cup of tea
- no

36. Taking a flask of tea or coffee on a day out
- no, I'm a contractor FFS, I visit restaurants

37. Joining the WI
- this is just silly

38. Taking a keen interest in the garden
- no

39. Spending more money on face creams / anti-ageing products
- no

40. Spending money on the home / furniture rather than a night on the town
- no

41. Taking a keen interest in dressing for the weather
- no

42. Putting everyday items in the wrong place
- no, I put them on the kitchen table

43. Obsessive gardening or bird feeding
- no

44. Really enjoying puzzles and crosswords
- no

45. Always driving in the slow lane, or below 70 in the middle lane
- no

46. Consider going on a ‘no children’ cruise for a holiday
- yes, but not a cruise

47. Your ears are getting bigger
- no

48. Joining the National Trust
- no

49. Drinking sherry
- rarely, and certainly not that pukey Bristol Cream the old fogeys drink

50. Feeling you have the right to tell people exactly what you are thinking even if it isn’t polite
- only if it's proggy

[gingerjedi]

I don't feel or act old at all, shame I look it though.

[bobspud]

I have been practicing for being an old git all my life. I am now a black belt at it

[MyUserName]

7/50 - Must try harder!!!!!

[Old Hack]

What are the way points?

(eeeek)

[darmstadt]

6. You don’t know any songs in the top ten
- no, I even know the number one. Shame I don't like it.

Whats number one in the album charts in the UK this week? Oh look, Black Sabbath...

[Mich the Tester]

Whats number one in the album charts in the UK this week? Oh look, Black Sabbath...

No, the singles no1 is that Robin Thicke bloke who can't spell Thick and really doesn't make any more effort than saying 'hey hey hey' with a drum machine in the background. Fair play to him, though, he's making some money and he pulls some fit birds.

[nomadd]

Top 50 tell-tale signs of ageing revealed - Telegraph

The weird ones on the list for me are the technology ones.

At nearly 50 years of age, I'm still amazed at how uneducated young people are with technology (beyond a rudimentary grasp of their iPhone.)

[Mich the Tester]

At nearly 50 years of age, I'm still amazed at how uneducated young people are with technology (beyond a rudimentary grasp of their iPhone.)

Especially when they're trying to ride a bicycle while pissing around with the iPhone.

[mudskipper]

10. Forgetting people’s names

I've adopted the method of picturing something to do with the person's name growing out of their head.
But it does now mean I can't look at John Cox.