Intolerant of intolerance

[suityou01]

I am posting this here as I want to learn of other peoples experiences. My friend's one recently has been a bad one.
If this turns into a flame suity thread I will thread flounce and let you have your fun.

First things first. He has 100% attendance, delivers on time all the time, is pleasant, amiable and gets on well with this colleagues. This much is fact. He go for beers with them once weekly.

As he is nearing the project deadline, the senior dev (his direct report) has been getting more and more erratic. Apparently it builds from a call not going his way (and throwing his headset across the room in a fit of pique) to balling my friend out over the slightest thing.

Last Friday was the final straw for him as apparently this chap lost his rag, screamed "Come here" at the top of his lungs, pointing to the seat next to him, then continued yelling "I'm not through with you yet", then made him sit there next to him while he tried to integrate my friends code into his work (would it really take 2 to do this? It sounds more likely to me that this senior dev is a little haphazard in his approach). The final straw was when he said "OK good boy, now you can go".

My friend is 36

I checked out online to see if any of the bigger consultancies has a code of ethics for their clients. It seems Thoughtworks do :

Linky

Our cultural characteristics and imperatives:

Do the right thing
Attitude, aptitude and integrity
Service to others and society over self
Solidarity over charity
Serve holistic goals over achieving targets
Personal and organizational transparency
Curiosity, creativity and passion
Fail fast and publish our mistakes
Intolerant of intolerance
No jerks
High values alignment, loosely coupled

I advised my friend that this is intimidating behaviour and should not be tolerated. Fortunately for him he only has 4 weeks left to go in this gig so can tough it out.

Have you EVER been spoken to like this on a gig, and if so, what did you do?

I'll be sure to pass along any good advice to my friend.

[SimonMac]

I call bulltulip, we all know you don't have any friends

[suityou01]

I call bulltulip, we all know you don't have any friends

I have you

Are you feeling any better today btw?

[SimonMac]

I have you

Are you feeling any better today btw?

I am thanks, popped a few pills and an early night sorted me out

[suityou01]

I am thanks, popped a few pills and an early night sorted me out

OK. Remember don't let the b******* get you down.

[sasguru]

Have you EVER been spoken to like this on a gig...?

No. HTH.

[MarillionFan]

Have you EVER been spoken to like this on a gig, and if so, what did you do?

I'll be sure to pass along any good advice to my friend.

Loads of times.

First as a permie when I'd left University. My first job in the city and one of the partners(little chinese fella) came in and belittled me in front of everyone shouting the words 'When I say jump, you ask how high'. I was fuming, followed him into his office and physically pinned up to the wall telling him to never talk to me like that again. He apologised, I walked out and promptly quit a week later.

Second, on a contract. Again, a guy lost the plot at me screaming & shouting. I promptly took it, waited for him to leave, followed him out and had a massive fooking go at him, stepping right into his face to do it. He backed down, apologised.

Third(same contract), a DBA lost it & physically attacked me, throwing a punch before I pinned him against a wall. I then decided that was enough.

Fourth, client bawled at me down the phone, screaming & shouting, totally losing the plot. I then proceeded to hang up, cooly get on a train, travel an hour to his office, walk in and say 'What the fook did you say to me', before he apologised.

Fifth, contract year before lost, some guy incredibly rude lost the plot, bawled out to whit I cooly left, turned back and called him an arrogant prick before landing up in front of their HR department who told me off for calling him an arrogant prick (as I was overheard) and next time I should have called him an arrogant ****** . Go figure.

Best not to shout at me. I tend to lose it.

[sasguru]

Loads of times.

First as a permie when I'd left University. My first job in the city and one of the partners(little chinese fella) came in and belittled me in front of everyone shouting the words 'When I say jump, you ask how high'. I was fuming, followed him into his office and physically pinned up to the wall telling him to never talk to me like that again. He apologised, I walked out and promptly quit a week later.

Second, on a contract. Again, a guy lost the plot at me screaming & shouting. I promptly took it, waited for him to leave, followed him out and had a massive fooking go at him, stepping right into his face to do it. He backed down, apologised.

Third(same contract), a DBA lost it & physically attacked me, throwing a punch before I pinned him against a wall. I then decided that was enough.

Fourth, client bawled at me down the phone, screaming & shouting, totally losing the plot. I then proceeded to hang up, cooly get on a train, travel an hour to his office, walk in and say 'What the fook did you say to me', before he apologised.

Fifth, contract year before lost, some guy incredibly rude lost the plot, bawled out to whit I cooly left, turned back and called him an arrogant prick before landing up in front of their HR department who told me off for calling him an arrogant prick (as I was overheard) and next time I should have called him an arrogant ****** . Go figure.

Best not to shout at me. I tend to lose it.

Are you incompetent? If that many people lose their rag at you, you must be crap.

[suityou01]

Are you incompetent? If that many people lose their rag at you, you must be crap.

This is the first and only time I EVER stick up for MF.

People only lose their rag when they lose control. They lose control when you show them up. You might not even realise you're doing it. Insecurity and fear is a powerful emotion.

[oscarose]

Have you EVER been spoken to like this on a gig, and if so, what did you do?

Most days - suck it and invoice.

HTH