A free form poem to the Cretins of CUK, in the style of EJ Thribb from Private Eye

[sasguru]

Thank you
Cretins of CUK
You brighten my day
with your complete and utter crap
Your lack of logic
Is extreme
Your opinions inane
Yet you make me larf
Thank you cretins of CUK
You know who you are
Or maybe you don't
Know you are a cretin, that is

[sasguru]

E.J. Thribb

[EternalOptimist]

there once was a guru in SAS
whose words were incredibly crass
in place of a cortex
he had a pea sized vortex
and in place of gob had an ass



EO thriblett

[vetran]

There once was a failed Gigolo
Who thought he was in the Know
He was confined in his bungalow
Because his brain is very slow.

We should let him Go
As soon his tears will flow
I musn't have a go
At the CUK Cretin Show.


VJ Cretin-Watcher the third.

[OwlHoot]

Can't be arsed to think of a poem, but here's an acrostic.

S A S
A S S
S S S

Might even carve it on a wall, like that one about Arepo the Sower, to confuse archaeologists in a couple of thousand years.

[cojak]

Alf would be spinning in his chair if he read this lot

[vetran]

There was a mature poster named Alf
Who loved poetry and everything fine
And despite rumours he loves Ralph
I'll toast him with a glass of wine!



There is a poster called Cojak
Despite her giving us some flak
We know she is a Mod and a Lady
So all say 'We loves you Baby!"

[NotAllThere]

There was a young poster called vetran
Whose poems didn't scan
And the rimes and speling were a bit off too.

[shaunbhoy]

There once was a poster called sas
who preferred talking out of his ass
his posts made no sense
due to him being so dense
thus the ridicule followed en masse

EJ SB

[Mich the Tester]

I like free form poetry
Because it doesn't really have to rhyme or scan;
I can just write any old tulipe and call it a poem
As long as I put it on seperate lines with a capi
Tal letter at the start in fact I
can't really even be bothered
to
do
that what a lot of poo