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Noisy Americans. An Open Letter

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    Noisy Americans. An Open Letter

    Dear Americans

    You are not the only people in the world. The world map does not consist of America with your quiet clean neighbours Canada and then 'Everywhere else'. This should not give you a sense of being 'at the centre of the universe'.

    When your parents taught you to speak they should have also asked you to 'keep the fooking noise down'. A conversation does not have to consist of who can talk the loudest over the other or 'whoops'. Whoops are not a normal part of a conversation they are more of a mating call used by Canadian Elks and should be avoided as they make you appear thicker than the French (that's another country that nobody likes either). Also shouting, this is also not normal. In most countries shouting is used as a form of anger or warning, not to try and prove who has the smallest dick or to appear attractive to gormless ex-cheer leaders who now work in marketing but who used to give blow jobs to 'jocks' behind the college play fields. You are not at college any more, you're at a hotel where funnily enough there are other people besides yourselves you gormless, selfish air headed morons.

    There's a reason everyone hates you in the rest of the world and its not because people are jealous of your 'democracy' or that you keep invading other places for oil. It's because you have no self volume control. Now STFU!!

    Yours

    MF in the room next door.
    What happens in General, stays in General.
    You know what they say about assumptions!

    #2
    Originally posted by MarillionFan View Post
    Dear Americans

    You are not the only people in the world. The world map does not consist of America with your quiet clean neighbours Canada and then 'Everywhere else'. This should not give you a sense of being 'at the centre of the universe'.

    When your parents taught you to speak they should have also asked you to 'keep the fooking noise down'. A conversation does not have to consist of who can talk the loudest over the other or 'whoops'. Whoops are not a normal part of a conversation they are more of a mating call used by Canadian Elks and should be avoided as they make you appear thicker than the French (that's another country that nobody likes either). Also shouting, this is also not normal. In most countries shouting is used as a form of anger or warning, not to try and prove who has the smallest dick or to appear attractive to gormless ex-cheer leaders who now work in marketing but who used to give blow jobs to 'jocks' behind the college play fields. You are not at college any more, you're at a hotel where funnily enough there are other people besides yourselves you gormless, selfish air headed morons.

    There's a reason everyone hates you in the rest of the world and its not because people are jealous of your 'democracy' or that you keep invading other places for oil. It's because you have no self volume control. Now STFU!!

    Yours

    MF in the room next door.
    You tell em !

    Comment


      #3
      Originally posted by MarillionFan View Post
      Dear Americans

      STFU!!

      Yours

      MF
      ftfy

      Avoid unnecessary verbiage; it looks American.
      And what exactly is wrong with an "ad hominem" argument? Dodgy Agent, 16-5-2014

      Comment


        #4
        You do realize that letter could get you on the Tea Party's list of 'Unamerican Traitors, Commies and Homosexuals'?
        And what exactly is wrong with an "ad hominem" argument? Dodgy Agent, 16-5-2014

        Comment


          #5
          Originally posted by Mich the Tester View Post
          You do realize that letter could get you on the Tea Party's list of 'Unamerican Traitors, Commies and Homosexuals'?
          They've stopped now. So obviously writing this letter and posting it anonymously on a UK contractors forum has worked.
          What happens in General, stays in General.
          You know what they say about assumptions!

          Comment


            #6
            Originally posted by MarillionFan View Post
            They've stopped now. So obviously writing this letter and posting it anonymously on a UK contractors forum has worked.
            At a previous clientco there was a very shouty American interim managerman flown in from the US to oversee what was not a crisis at all and screw up things that were working just fine, and he couldn't figure out why everyone called him 'Mr Waldorf Salad'. Eventually I e-mailed him a linky after he confided in me that he wondered if a different management approach was needed with a crowd of 'Yurpee-un' techies.

            WALDORF SALAD by Doctor P - YouTube
            And what exactly is wrong with an "ad hominem" argument? Dodgy Agent, 16-5-2014

            Comment


              #7
              Originally posted by Mich the Tester View Post
              At a previous clientco there was a very shouty American interim managerman flown in from the US to oversee what was not a crisis at all and screw up things that were working just fine, and he couldn't figure out why everyone called him 'Mr Waldorf Salad'. Eventually I e-mailed him a linky after he confided in me that he wondered if a different management approach was needed with a crowd of 'Yurpee-un' techies.

              WALDORF SALAD by Doctor P - YouTube
              Ah yes, the fine Mr Waldorf. Come across a few of them on my travels. Once in Dallas TX staying in one of the usual suspects, just arrived and unpacking and suddenly hear shouting coming from the corridor. The verbiage was straight from a Mel Gibson Utube tape, really

              Turns out Mr Waldorf's entry key card to his room doesn't work and I am now witnessing this AH sounding off to the poor member of staff. I will paraphrase -

              "You %&*(ing people are all the same, you don't give a %)(*ing Sh*(! Get this card working now AH or I will get you fired! Do you know who I am ? I'm the IT President for *BLEEP*!

              *BLEEP = A well known Global IT company with its HQ in the area, I won't say who. However, interestingly a supplier to the client who i'm there for to run a tender which aforesaid global IT company is due to be part of.

              Me "Excuse me but do you think your behavior is appropriate for someone representing a well know local employer such as your selves"

              Waldorf "You mind your own $%^&ing" business Limey prick"

              Me "I see. Well, I suppose this has been a learning experience for both of us. I will be sure to bear this experience in mind during the upcoming sourcing exercise for *BLEEP* which I happen to be managing and which your company is bidding for. Have a nice Day!"

              Waldorf - No words. Just a look on his face as though his head was about to split open and a UFO fly out of it.

              Oh what fun.

              Comment


                #8
                Originally posted by Contractoid View Post
                Ah yes, the fine Mr Waldorf. Come across a few of them on my travels. Once in Dallas TX staying in one of the usual suspects, just arrived and unpacking and suddenly hear shouting coming from the corridor. The verbiage was straight from a Mel Gibson Utube tape, really

                Turns out Mr Waldorf's entry key card to his room doesn't work and I am now witnessing this AH sounding off to the poor member of staff. I will paraphrase -

                "You %&*(ing people are all the same, you don't give a %)(*ing Sh*(! Get this card working now AH or I will get you fired! Do you know who I am ? I'm the IT President for *BLEEP*!

                *BLEEP = A well known Global IT company with its HQ in the area, I won't say who. However, interestingly a supplier to the client who i'm there for to run a tender which aforesaid global IT company is due to be part of.

                Me "Excuse me but do you think your behavior is appropriate for someone representing a well know local employer such as your selves"

                Waldorf "You mind your own $%^&ing" business Limey prick"

                Me "I see. Well, I suppose this has been a learning experience for both of us. I will be sure to bear this experience in mind during the upcoming sourcing exercise for *BLEEP* which I happen to be managing and which your company is bidding for. Have a nice Day!"

                Waldorf - No words. Just a look on his face as though his head was about to split open and a UFO fly out of it.

                Oh what fun.
                Made you feel the big man did it?

                Comment


                  #9
                  If you really want to hear Septics at full blast, try queuing behind a gaggle of them at a cash machine, when they've had a few drinks.

                  I've never visited Bird World on the A3, but I imagine the deafening squawks and shrieks of excitement as the money appears is not unlike feeding time in the parrot house there.
                  Work in the public sector? Read the IR35 FAQ here

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Originally posted by woohoo View Post
                    Made you feel the big man did it?
                    POTD
                    Hard Brexit now!
                    #prayfornodeal

                    Comment

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