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A brief note to client of client

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    A brief note to client of client

    Dear sirs,

    When you have 20 people reviewing 14 UML laden low level design documents, and you've made a special effort to call business processes things like createFSDX_updateK2 because you think it sounds suitably "computery", that isn't Agile, and it's certainly not agile. Saying "we are following an agile methodology" doesn't make it so.

    Your project is probably ****ed BTW. Just saying.
    While you're waiting, read the free novel we sent you. It's a Spanish story about a guy named 'Manual.'

    #2
    Originally posted by doodab View Post
    Dear sirs,

    When you have 20 people reviewing 14 UML laden low level design documents, and you've made a special effort to call business processes things like createFSDX_updateK2 because you think it sounds suitably "computery", that isn't Agile, and it's certainly not agile. Saying "we are following an agile methodology" doesn't make it so.

    Your project is probably ****ed BTW. Just saying.

    Oh Suity! <canned laughter>

    Comment


      #3
      Originally posted by Churchill View Post
      Oh Suity! <canned laughter>
      I'm pretty sure he isn't involved. Though he might be...
      While you're waiting, read the free novel we sent you. It's a Spanish story about a guy named 'Manual.'

      Comment


        #4
        Originally posted by doodab View Post
        I'm pretty sure he isn't involved. Though he might be...
        Wait till the project is going tits up, then call Suity to the rescue.

        Then cue inevitable tragedy.

        Comment


          #5
          Originally posted by doodab View Post
          Dear sirs,

          When you have 20 people reviewing 14 UML laden low level design documents, and you've made a special effort to call business processes things like createFSDX_updateK2 because you think it sounds suitably "computery", that isn't Agile, and it's certainly not agile. Saying "we are following an agile methodology" doesn't make it so.

          Your project is probably ****ed BTW. Just saying.
          It's not considered polite in meetings in those clients to call out "bingo" within the first 2-3 minutes of the stand-up meeting. It's usually more polite to sit/stand out the meeting thinking of better ways to live and, once it's finished, pat the manglement on the back, congratulate them for a very agile meeting, ask them if they've changed their style of BrylCreem application as they look ever so agile today, point out how the buttons on their shirts may be flying around the room in a very agile fashion if they have any more long agile lunches before ignoring them and going off to do it properly yourself. If the senior manglement ask about what you think about agile working, make sure you fidget endlessly while you speak and tell them that fidgetsizing is the latest agile mechanism that's proven to get 5% more work and 4% greater accuracy in programmer hours.

          Comment


            #6
            Originally posted by craig1 View Post
            It's not considered polite in meetings in those clients to call out "bingo" within the first 2-3 minutes of the stand-up meeting. It's usually more polite to sit/stand out the meeting thinking of better ways to live and, once it's finished, pat the manglement on the back, congratulate them for a very agile meeting, ask them if they've changed their style of BrylCreem application as they look ever so agile today, point out how the buttons on their shirts may be flying around the room in a very agile fashion if they have any more long agile lunches before ignoring them and going off to do it properly yourself. If the senior manglement ask about what you think about agile working, make sure you fidget endlessly while you speak and tell them that fidgetsizing is the latest agile mechanism that's proven to get 5% more work and 4% greater accuracy in programmer hours.
            Ah! An expert! <offers hand to shake>

            Comment


              #7
              Originally posted by Platypus View Post
              Ah! An expert! <offers hand to shake>
              I understand the term is 'Guru' or 'Thought Leader'

              HTH

              Comment


                #8
                Originally posted by doodab View Post
                Dear sirs,

                When you have 20 people reviewing 14 UML laden low level design documents, and you've made a special effort to call business processes things like createFSDX_updateK2 because you think it sounds suitably "computery", that isn't Agile, and it's certainly not agile. Saying "we are following an agile methodology" doesn't make it so.

                Your project is probably ****ed BTW. Just saying.
                Suck it up bitch and think of the money!

                Comment


                  #9
                  Originally posted by doodab View Post
                  Dear sirs,

                  When you have 20 people reviewing 14 UML laden low level design documents, and you've made a special effort to call business processes things like createFSDX_updateK2 because you think it sounds suitably "computery", that isn't Agile, and it's certainly not agile. Saying "we are following an agile methodology" doesn't make it so.

                  Your project is probably ****ed BTW. Just saying.
                  Starting threads like this is a sure fire way to get panned on here by thick childish s.

                  I feel your pain buddy. Why not create a traceability matrix?
                  Knock first as I might be balancing my chakras.

                  Comment


                    #10
                    I've just started on an "agile" project. I don't seem to be doing anything differently from how I'd normally do it, except there are more meetings.
                    Down with racism. Long live miscegenation!

                    Comment

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