Quiet Night, Until...

[NickFitz]

Went down the pub tonight for a few quiet pints with one of my oldest friends. Walking back, we were near the junction where we go our separate ways when the front door of a house we're about to pass suddenly flies out of its frame and crashes to the ground, with a woman on top of it, and a woman on top of her, battering her

We fumbled for our phones and tried to remember how to dial a number; 999 in this case. I got there first, and ended up having a prolonged conversation with an operator who seemed to have the idea that she'd get a hefty bonus if she found reasons not to send anybody, judging by her attitude. During the call the victim joined us.

Sample of conversation: "Is she injured?" "She was used to smash down a door and then assaulted as she was lying on it, of course she's injured!" "But does she have any serious injuries?"

Finally she deigned to send some coppers on an emergency response. Of course, what this meant was that nobody appeared for several minutes until they were sure they wouldn't be alone, then they all came screaming round the corner with blues & twos, mob-handed

God only knows what it was all about. The copper who took our details was amazed when I could tell him the spelling of my name using the NATO phonetic alphabet, so that's my validation for the weekend.

Ho hum

[Boney M]

Went down the pub tonight for a few quiet pints with one of my oldest friends. Walking back, we were near the junction where we go our separate ways when the front door of a house we're about to pass suddenly flies out of its frame and crashes to the ground, with a woman on top of it, and a woman on top of her, battering her

We fumbled for our phones and tried to remember how to dial a number; 999 in this case. I got there first, and ended up having a prolonged conversation with an operator who seemed to have the idea that she'd get a hefty bonus if she found reasons not to send anybody, judging by her attitude. During the call the victim joined us.

Sample of conversation: "Is she injured?" "She was used to smash down a door and then assaulted as she was lying on it, of course she's injured!" "But does she have any serious injuries?"

Finally she deigned to send some coppers on an emergency response. Of course, what this meant was that nobody appeared for several minutes until they were sure they wouldn't be alone, then they all came screaming round the corner with blues & twos, mob-handed

God only knows what it was all about. The copper who took our details was amazed when I could tell him the spelling of my name using the NATO phonetic alphabet, so that's my validation for the weekend.

Ho hum

Must be new to the job if he was amazed at that

[NickFitz]

Must be new to the job if he was amazed at that

I thought it was a bit odd that he was so amazed, although my mate was also quite amused that I could just reel it off without hesitation: "Foxtrot India Tango Zulu…" etc.

When he expressed his astonishment, I shrugged and explained that I learned it from the Scout Handbook. That's true, though I didn't mention that I only got around to memorising it about twenty years after I left the Scouts

[BrilloPad]

What happened to the attacker?

I have heard it said that if you say "I have the attacker and am about to give them a good kicking" that you get a much better response.

[MarillionFan]

So you see one person battering another and your first reaction is to get your phones out??? Did one of you not wade and push the attacker off??? You can't beat a good ruck.

[woohoo]

I thought it was a bit odd that he was so amazed, although my mate was also quite amused that I could just reel it off without hesitation: "Foxtrot India Tango Zulu…" etc.

When he expressed his astonishment, I shrugged and explained that I learned it from the Scout Handbook. That's true, though I didn't mention that I only got around to memorising it about twenty years after I left the Scouts

Two women having a fight that results in a door being crashed through but somehow you make it all about you.

[ASB]

I thought you only needed to ring 999 if you couldnt upload the video to youtube.

[MarillionFan]

I thought you only needed to ring 999 if you couldnt upload the video to youtube.

You're getting confused. It's a US company and so their helpline is 911.

[BrilloPad]

I thought it was only necessary to video the incident if the ladies concerned were fighting in jelly?

[BrilloPad]

Two women having a fight that results in a door being crashed through but somehow you make it all about you.

Standards of trolling are going downhill here. Is that really the best you can do? Please read the beginners guide to trolling and try again. I believe MF offers lessons too - payment in pies.