Skills for a PM dealing with the Project team

[tarbera]

Assume everyone on your project will

Hide all issues and Risks
Invent stuff not in the business requirements
Any plans they provide are fabricated poo but will give you a laugh as they walk you through them with you.
Assume funds grow on trees
Put in Holiday request for go live dates
Ask for a rate rise on extensions just to be a PITA
Assume the project will stop if they are not around
Hide things from you and inform you at last minute
Surf the internet all day
Leave a 12 month project after 3 months for £5 an hour more

Have I missed anything.?

[MicrosoftBob]

Critique the requirements by finding the sole typo, and infer the requirements must be all wrong

[Bunk]

Leave a 12 month project after 3 months for £5 an hour more

Well, seeing as your client being a tightarse would cost me £7,200, what do you expect?

[Dallas]

Polishing Milestone statuses - our UAT was sent to the steer as completed, we hadnt started because we had no resource amd no users - but thats ok, be cause the plan said we had completed, For external reg reporting no-less

[suityou01]

Assume everyone on your project will

Hide all issues and Risks - Not if you're a decent PM and have your staff issuing weekly reports.Invent stuff not in the business requirements - Not if you're a decent PM and have scoped your project correctly.
Any plans they provide are fabricated poo but will give you a laugh as they walk you through them with you. - If you're a decent PM, you do the plans.
Assume funds grow on trees - MTFU
Put in Holiday request for go live dates - A decent PM would have put holidays in the plan already
Ask for a rate rise on extensions just to be a PITA - MTFU
Assume the project will stop if they are not around - WGAS?
Hide things from you and inform you at last minute - A decent PM would deal with this once.
Surf the internet all day - A decent PM would monitor the project closely enought to know who's slacking.
Leave a 12 month project after 3 months for £5 an hour more - A decent PM would manage his risks and mitigate them in the contracts with the subcontractors.

Have I missed anything.?

HTH BIKIW

[GB9]

Need to be able to handle the one BA on every project who really wants to be a PM. They are usually dellusional. One I know even started asking to see the project plan and RAID log. I would have let him but the CIO had already told me to get rid of him, mainly on account of his personal habits.

[oscarose]

duvet days

[suityou01]

Need to be able to handle the one BA on every project who really wants to be a PM. They are usually dellusional. One I know even started asking to see the project plan and RAID log. I would have let him but the CIO had already told me to get rid of him, mainly on account of his personal habits.

Also need to stop underlings seeing through your thin yoghurt excuses and piss poor plans otherwise you may have a mutiny on your hands.

[suityou01]

duvet days

In the plan FFS!