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Bloody Accountants

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    Bloody Accountants

    I was going to post this in Accounting / Legal, but it's not a question or looking for advice, more an observation.

    Finally getting sick and tired of my useless twunt of an accountant (who, for example, took 6 months to do my year end accounts), so met a different firm last night. I now understand how people get into trouble. I'm fairly conservative in my dealings, and the advice I got last night did not inspire confidence.

    At the moment I've got a 50/50 split with my wife, who earns a smallish salary elsewhere - advised I should move to alphabet shares to pay her different dividend levels each time.
    Advised to give some shares to my mother and say that "she looks for contracts for me". She could then gift me the money back in a few years...
    Advised to put part of my rent, council tax, water, electricity, gas through the business based on the number of rooms in the house versus my computer room (nothing to do with how much I use the room to actually do business).
    Advised to put my entire broadband cost through.
    A few other slightly dodgy claims, including that I should spend nearly £50k on a new car (under 90g/km) even though I have a fairly recent car, no need to replace it and no want to spend that much on a new one.

    I raised several times that I thought some of these were sailing a bit close to the wind, only to be met each time with "Oh, we make sure we cover all our bases". Yes, you may have an excuse for each of these things individually, but I'd rather not take risks on absolutely every aspect of my structure, thanks.

    Other things struck a chord, like when they took my address and then started saying that the had other clients in my area, did I know them, and then started bringing up Outlook contact cards with names, addresses and phone numbers on the screen to see if I recognised them.

    Back on the hunt now, but it's only from reading about settlements legislation, etc, and the forums on here, that I knew some of these were in the least bit dodgy. I can easily see a new contractor listening to this and rubbing their hands in glee over how much they could save without thinking about risk. At least my current guy had the decency to ask "How do you feel about avoidance" up front!

    #2
    How do I feel about avoidance? The same way I feel about being prosecuted by HMRC or going to jail.

    Comment


      #3
      I swap recipies with mine. Her assistant / other staff member lives on my street.
      While you're waiting, read the free novel we sent you. It's a Spanish story about a guy named 'Manual.'

      Comment


        #4
        Originally posted by zeitghost
        Meeting one's accountant.

        What a horrifying thought.

        Never met mine in all the years I used them.
        WZS

        They do my accountancy things and all communication is done by email/telephone.
        "You’re just a bad memory who doesn’t know when to go away" JR

        Comment


          #5
          Originally posted by doodab View Post
          I swap recipies with mine. Her assistant / other staff member lives on my street.
          Is that what they call it nowadays! Or is that the swear filter kicking again
          'CUK forum personality of 2011 - Winner - Yes really!!!!

          Comment


            #6
            Never ever even spoke to my accountant. All done via email.
            Rhyddid i lofnod psychocandy!!!!

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              #7
              Originally posted by SueEllen View Post
              WZS

              They do my accountancy things and all communication is done by email/telephone.
              +1

              I know this isn't Pistonheads, but I am struggling to see how one could spend £50k on a sub 90g/km car.
              Last edited by Peoplesoft bloke; 12 March 2014, 12:18.

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                #8
                Originally posted by northernladuk View Post
                Is that what they call it nowadays! Or is that the swear filter kicking again
                Recipie = a recipe for a pie shirley?

                Mmm, pie

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                  #9
                  Originally posted by Peoplesoft bloke View Post
                  +1

                  I know this isn't Pistonheads, but I am struggling to see how one could spend £50k on a sub 90g/km car.
                  These
                  "You’re just a bad memory who doesn’t know when to go away" JR

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Originally posted by SueEllen View Post
                    Or even one of these (new BMW X5 eDrive)..

                    Comment

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