Ever talked about your kids deliberately to gain sympathy over childless colleagues?

[Gym beast]

Much as we like to think that this game is JUST about money, fact is that all other things being equal, a company is likelier to hold onto a married man than a single one. The older, better-established/financed the company is, the bigger that factor will be. Especially if the hiring manager himself has a woman+kids in upkeep.


I'm not a father, though I'm the same demographic as most of the dads I work with, and I make no bones about having very few commitments. And if I were married with kids, I'd not advertise it nor lie about it.


By the way this is off the back of a convo I had with a couple of guys at my place who seem jealous at what I'm saving (but they're both on contract rates not dissimilar to mine)


Would be interesting to see what the Dad's on here think about using family as a bargaining chip for sympathy .

[yasockie]

I sometimes have to use the family sympathy thing for actual situations where wife is ill and someone has to pick up the kids from school etc.
Another thing is, at the moment is I am the sole provider of income for me, wife and two kids, so the harsh reality is you really don't need the money whereas I simply need the money just to pay the rent and get by.
It would seem sensible socially that in some permanent roles, skills being equal, family oriented people should be given preference, whereas single and adventurous males be allowed contract roles etc and this is largely what's happening.
One way to game the system is too look like a middle-aged family man, normally this won't come out until long after you're hired. Whether you're enjoy talk about nappies and shopping trips is another story.

[oscarose]

Would be interesting to see what the Dad's on here think about using family as a bargaining chip for sympathy .

I'd rather chew glass.

[CheeseSlice]

It would seem sensible socially that in some permanent roles, skills being equal, family oriented people should be given preference, whereas single and adventurous males be allowed contract roles etc and this is largely what's happening.

Utter rubbish. Sorry Dave I know you and your wife are having fertility problems but I've got to let you go so Rodger can feed his wife and 6 kids.

Go think about it.

[scooterscot]

Would be interesting to see what the Dad's on here think about using family as a bargaining chip for sympathy .

My daughters are my responsibility not my clients.

I'd need to be some sort of gelatinous slime escaping the petri dish before I'd consider using my family in this way.

[SimonMac]

I happily tell clients that the only reason I contract is so I can bill for 8 months of the year and take the rest of with the kids, no idea if it helps or not, but I am good at what I do so don't need sympathy.

[BrilloPad]

I'm not a father

So you lose the right to have any opinion. Come back when you have kids.

FFS - why should you be happy?

[Dallas]

You kidding me. Am surrounded by middle aged male contractors, bitter paying for ex wifey and current wifey, socially awkward weirdos at every bank I have been at.
At least the family oriented predominantly permies have perspective and 'a life' these guys can't get their head around.

[Gym beast]

So you lose the right to have any opinion. Come back when you have kids.

I started the thread, son. YOU get up and walk away.

FFS - why should you be happy?

Sort of the whole point of living, remember? Life? Pleasure? Ring any dim bells?

[doodab]

fact is that all other things being equal, a company is likelier to hold onto a married man than a single one.

I don't think that's a fact at all TBH.