PDA

View Full Version : Birthday Presents



doodab
30th April 2014, 09:33
I have a bit of a dilemma. I have my 40th birthday coming up soon so more than a few people are asking for gift suggestions. Six months ago I could have given them a shortlist covering everything from books to synthesizers but with recent events the acquisition of stuff has become much less important to me, and due to a perceived lack of time to enjoy them I've already invested in pretty much all of the affordable things on my wishlist. There is practically nothing I want that I would feel comfortable suggesting as a potential gift.

What should I do? Ask for cash gifts I can put in the warchest or towards the deposit on a house? Have a good think and come up with some inexpensive trinkets or experiences that I don't *really* want but would at least enjoy? Or leave people to figure it out for themselves?

BrilloPad
30th April 2014, 09:35
Got any kids? Ask for babysitting vouchers.

If any of your friends are female and attractive ask for a BJ.

d000hg
30th April 2014, 09:38
Ask for them to invest time rather than money if they feel the need to get you something?

Go macabre and ask them to all chip in for a coffin/headstone, and revel in their awkward reactions?

original PM
30th April 2014, 09:39
I had exactly this dilemma about 6 months ago....

in the end I

1) Took me and a few mates to Majorca for a long weekend
2) the missus got me a Segway Safari voucher....... (it was more fun than it sounds!)
3) Sister in Law got me a golf lesson at the Lee Westwood school of golf (Lee Westwood not included)
4) Eveyone else just got me some random bobbins

all in all not much different from most other birthdays - can be a bit of an anticlimax unless the missus is rich enough to shell out for a Porsche!

mudskipper
30th April 2014, 09:46
Are you well enough for a party (even a low key one?)

If so, you could point out that "stuff" seems pretty pointless, but if they want to chip in for the party, that would be good.

I went dog racing for my 40th - relatively cheap and great fun - our local track (now closed) did a sit down meal for around £25 a head.

Spending time with people probably means more to you and them.

doodab
30th April 2014, 09:50
Go macabre and ask them to all chip in for a coffin/headstone, and revel in their awkward reactions?

:laugh

Help with funeral costs, I hadn't thought of that. It's certainly a practical gift that would take another weight off my mind.

aoxomoxoa
30th April 2014, 09:52
Ask them to make a donation to a charity of your choice, maybe set up a Virginmoneygiving or Just Giving web page to make it easy for them.

doodab
30th April 2014, 09:55
Are you well enough for a party (even a low key one?)

I've already organised that :wink


Spending time with people probably means more to you and them.

Yeah it does, although that's more down to me than them as I'm a bit of a loner at heart and I find making the effort to socialise when I don't feel like it very draining. I've actually found it a bit of an effort to make time for people and been intentionally avoiding them to some degree. I should try a bit harder there as I do enjoy it and it generally does me a fair bit of good to get out of the house. It's a bit of a BS excuse but it's hard when a lot of activities I used to do together with friends like a game of tennis or a visit to the pub are more or less impossible these days. Well, I could go to the pub but it wouldn't be much fun sitting there watching everyone get pissed while I drink water. I still do the odd meal out though.

d000hg
30th April 2014, 09:55
:laugh

Help with funeral costs, I hadn't thought of that. It's certainly a practical gift that would take another weight off my mind.Is this realistically your last birthday, barring miracles (sorry to be blunt)? If so it's not a crazy idea perhaps.

doodab
30th April 2014, 09:59
Is this realistically your last birthday, barring miracles (sorry to be blunt)?

No need to apologise, it's better to get to the point on these things IMO.

It's hard to say for sure, I'd guess the odds are probably about 50/50. When I was diagnosed I was told I had less than 6 months without chemo and with it 18 would be good going. The six months are nearly up. OTOH every cancer patient is different, so if the current chemo works well I could be one of the 5% (of late stage stomach cancer sufferers) who get another 5 years. You have to remember the vast majority of those are over 65 as well, so as I am young and fairly fit my odds are probably a bit better.

Gibbon
30th April 2014, 10:04
Are you well enough for a party (even a low key one?)

If so, you could point out that "stuff" seems pretty pointless, but if they want to chip in for the party, that would be good.

I went dogging for my 40th - relatively cheap and great fun - our local track (now closed) did a sit down meal for around £25 giving head.

Spending time with people probably means more to you and them.

;)

original PM
30th April 2014, 10:08
:laugh

Help with funeral costs, I hadn't thought of that. It's certainly a practical gift that would take another weight off my mind.

Buy one online....

Here (http://www.co-operativefuneralcare.co.uk/pre-paid-funeral-plans/)

northernladuk
30th April 2014, 10:10
I have suggested this a number of times on 40th and 50th threads but normally to people looking to buy for someone, not the actual birthday boy but here is what I did for my partners 40th who didn't really know what she wanted.

I went round the main players in her life that were asking and worked out that I allocated them a month of the year and they then booked some event in that month involving either just them and us or a group thing. Could be anything as simple as a meal out to a trip away or spa day or more fun like a weekend in Ireland and in Spain (examples of what my other half did). They then gave a 'voucher' inviting them to that do in that month, even if it wasn't booked, just a promise.

Outcome was my partner had over 12 invites to events with family and friends lasting the whole year. Each even had a birthday balloon and badge so was like having 12 intimate parties rather than one big one. She had something to look forward every 3 weeks or so for the year so made it memorable. Having a large family and being a social butterfly it worked a treat for her. Wouldn't have worked for a lazy miserable bastard like me so have to see if it's your cup of tea.

doodab
30th April 2014, 10:17
The thing is I do quite fancy a new synth to play with, and a new telescope with a longer focal length, both of which would have a resale value reasonably close to what they cost so I could argue they aren't really "wasted" as my family will be able to monetize them once I'm gone. I think I could get away with asking ms doodab and my folks for something like that, although given the amount of stuff I'm ebaying I could easily buy them myself and avoid the guilt.

doodab
30th April 2014, 10:19
I have suggested this a number of times on 40th and 50th threads but normally to people looking to buy for someone, not the actual birthday boy but here is what I did for my partners 40th who didn't really know what she wanted.

I went round the main players in her life that were asking and worked out that I allocated them a month of the year and they then booked some event in that month involving either just them and us or a group thing. Could be anything as simple as a meal out to a trip away or spa day or more fun like a weekend in Ireland and in Spain (examples of what my other half did). They then gave a 'voucher' inviting them to that do in that month, even if it wasn't booked, just a promise.

Outcome was my partner had over 12 invites to events with family and friends lasting the whole year. Each even had a birthday balloon and badge so was like having 12 intimate parties rather than one big one. She had something to look forward every 3 weeks or so for the year so made it memorable. Having a large family and being a social butterfly it worked a treat for her. Wouldn't have worked for a lazy miserable bastard like me so have to see if it's your cup of tea.

Nice idea. I don't know how well it would work for me as it can be a struggle actually doing stuff sometimes and like I say I'm actually fairly anti-social at heart, I already turn down quite a few invites. I could quite do with some sort of quite retreat somewhere on my jack jones TBH, perhaps organising something like that is an option.

Pogle
30th April 2014, 12:26
I got a very nice emerald and diamond ring for my 40th - to replace the very cheap engagement ring we bought when we got engaged. I don’t really want 'things' for birthdays anymore, I'd rather go to places and as my birthday is in August and we're usually on holiday we hire a boat and crew and go off on the sea for the day.

But how about a therimin? I got one for Himself and its great fun to learn to play, and is great for creating spooky noises at halloween :)

Zippy
30th April 2014, 13:04
Pogle has it :D

People want to buy something for you, not something 'worthy'. As you point out you may live for quite some time, so ask for something fun.

mudskipper
30th April 2014, 13:12
How about a titcam? Ours gives us lots of pleasure.

doodab
30th April 2014, 13:17
How about a titcam? Ours gives us lots of pleasure.

Maybe. I do enjoy photography, actually got myself a new macro lens and proper flash for crimbo (before I knew I was ill). I should get out with it a bit more, I've hardly used it.