The latest phishing telephone scam.

[cojak]

Indian chap: Cojak? (no miss/missus, nowt)
Cojak: Yes?
Indian: We have been alerted by by your computer of malware, we've had to remove your from the main network server to a temporary server. I regretfully have to inform you that if you stay there you will lose all work and files and your computer will become unusable.
Cojak: Oh No!
Indian: Oh yes! Here is what you must do... (usual guff about locating the windows button).
Cojak: (very quickly bored). I do not have Windows, I have an Apple Mac and you Sir, are a liar!
Indian: An you can take your Mac and jump out of the window!
brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr........

[MyUserName]

We should have a competition to see who can keep them on the line for the longest.

[robpow]

Used to do that with telesales people... told them I was very interested but just needed to get a pen.. then put the receiver to the side for 5-10 minutes. Some actually did wait it out!!

[doodab]

Maybe I'm just lucky but I've never had one of these calls. I did once have someone ring the phone in a lift I was in and try and sell me stationary though.

[OwlHoot]

I did once have someone ring the phone in a lift I was in and try and sell me stationary though.

Lucky he didn't talk you into buying any, or the lift would have stopped between floors

[ravena]

Indian chap: Cojak? (no miss/missus, nowt)
Cojak: Yes?
Indian: We have been alerted by by your computer of malware, we've had to remove your from the main network server to a temporary server. I regretfully have to inform you that if you stay there you will lose all work and files and your computer will become unusable.
Cojak: Oh No!
Indian: Oh yes! Here is what you must do... (usual guff about locating the windows button).
Cojak: (very quickly bored). I do not have Windows, I have an Apple Mac and you Sir, are a liar!
Indian: An you can take your Mac and jump out of the window!
brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr........

lol! The poor guys must have been wishing that you'd let him access your computer and give him your credit card info. Hahaha!

[robpow]

Lucky he didn't talk you into buying any, or the lift would have stopped between floors

Ba-da-boom!

[meridian]

I've had them a couple of times before. They're usually stumped when I ask them to tell me what my IP address is so I can trace the correct computer...