Hard Brexit survival guide, and a silver lining

[Hobosapien]

A 'no deal' hard brexit looks inevitable unless government do a U-turn and cancel brexit. So what can we do to prepare, seeing as government haven't bothered?

1. Stock up on long life food now before the supermarket shelves are empty. Get in early before rationing and price inflation hits.

2. Put a poster in your window saying "Hard Brexit Supporter - FCK.EU', so when they come for the EU illegals they won't kick your door in by mistake.

3. Perfect your 'invasion of the body snatchers' response to hearing anyone speaking in a foreign language, which will become law as your duty to point out EU illegals.

4. Prepare spare rooms for expats forced to return home. Government will pay back those previously charged a bedroom tax.

5. ?


The silver lining:

We're about to see another Y2K style rush to prepare IT systems for things like EU tariffs and tracking stockpiles of products. When it comes to rate negotiation think like Drunker at the EU bar, double is not enough, triple or just take everything they can throw at you.

Six critical systems, four months to Brexit – and no completed testing


Above all, KEEP CALM AND PANIC.

[Eirikur]

Do I have to sew a blue EU flag on my coat?

[Whorty]

A 'no deal' hard brexit looks inevitable unless government do a U-turn and cancel brexit. So what can we do to prepare, seeing as government haven't bothered?

1. Stock up on long life food now before the supermarket shelves are empty. Get in early before rationing and price inflation hits.

2. Put a poster in your window saying "Hard Brexit Supporter - FCK.EU', so when they come for the EU illegals they won't kick your door in by mistake.

3. Perfect your 'invasion of the body snatchers' response to hearing anyone speaking in a foreign language, which will become law as your duty to point out EU illegals.

4. Prepare spare rooms for expats forced to return home. Government will pay back those previously charged a bedroom tax.

5. ?


The silver lining:

We're about to see another Y2K style rush to prepare IT systems for things like EU tariffs and tracking stockpiles of products. When it comes to rate negotiation think like Drunker at the EU bar, double is not enough, triple or just take everything they can throw at you.

Six critical systems, four months to Brexit – and no completed testing


Above all, KEEP CALM AND PANIC.

/\ this ......

As i've said so often on here to the Brexiters, whilst I voted Remain and think that's best for the country, the nature of the work I do means I'll make a lot of hay in a chaotic Brexit. I did well during the financial crisis, I did well during Y2K, and I'll do well if there is a hard Brexit

The local planning guys have also added our 1.5 acre garden into the local planning for the village, so the 2k garden is now worth many hundreds of thousands. 2019 is going to be a good year

[Batcher]

There are a few silver linings.

A United Ireland.
N. Ireland voted Remain and are getting a special deal to stay in the EU. This makes them more aligned to Ireland than the UK and this divergence will mean that a United Ireland will happen soon. A border poll will be a formality and the hard unionists in the north are in the minority.

An Independent Scotland.
Scotland voted Remain and are being ignored, Scotland wasn't mentioned in the withdrawal agreement whilst N. Ireland was mentioned 70 times. Even Gibraltar and other small enclaves were mentioned by name. A recent Survation poll for Channel 4 with almost 2,000 respondents showed 58% would vote for independence if Brexit happened. This didn't include 16-18 year olds who are at 70% for independence anyway. Once a proper referendum campaign starts then those numbers will get bigger. Before the last indyref, Yes started at 26% and ended up at 45% despite the project Fear nonsense. All promises back then have been broken by the unionist parties and that won't be forgotten this time.

England and Wales voted to Leave and they will get their wish. Free movement of people will be stopped including those English and Welsh people wanting to go to Europe on holiday.

Everyone will live happily ever after.

[sasguru]

Brexit survival guide: get dual nationality.
Then vote for a hard Brexit.
At a stroke your British competition is removed from Europe and your European competition is removed from the UK.

[Hobosapien]

Do I have to sew a blue EU flag on my coat?

No, you can wear the one on your car number plate around your neck. Then any vehicles without number plates are free for UK nationals to use and abuse like Boris Bikes in Manchester.

/\ this ......

As i've said so often on here to the Brexiters, whilst I voted Remain and think that's best for the country, the nature of the work I do means I'll make a lot of hay in a chaotic Brexit. I did well during the financial crisis, I did well during Y2K, and I'll do well if there is a hard Brexit

Even better is BoZo is saying we'll need a post 'no deal' transition period, so the gravy train will keep rolling for years not months. Time to claw back all that IR35 tax. What the government takes with one hand will give back in the other.

[WTFH]

Brexit survival guide: get dual nationality.
Then vote for a hard Brexit.
At a stroke your British competition is removed from Europe and your European competition is removed from the UK.

That's the most convincing argument I've heard yet for why I should vote for Brexit.

[Hobosapien]

Brexit survival guide: get dual nationality.
Then vote for a hard Brexit.
At a stroke your British competition is removed from Europe and your European competition is removed from the UK.

Plan B: EU brides website where UK nationals can get dual citizenship via a drive through wedding, which will be the only way through the Eurotunnel when the catch 22 trains start running. i.e. got be be a citizen of both sides.

[WTFH]

Plan B: EU brides website where UK nationals can get dual citizenship via a drive through wedding, which will be the only way through the Eurotunnel when the catch 22 trains start running. i.e. got be be a citizen of both sides.

Doesn't necessarily work - I'm not sure how many EU countries will do dual citizenship with the UK. Certainly Ireland will only give citizenship to spouses if you have lived in Ireland for at least 3 years.

[Hobosapien]

Doesn't necessarily work - I'm not sure how many EU countries will do dual citizenship with the UK. Certainly Ireland will only give citizenship to spouses if you have lived in Ireland for at least 3 years.

Drive through wedding in a Delorean. Get fast tracked at 88mph. Sorted.