Transgender Contractor

[northernladuk]

I didn't like the phrase used by another poster: "people are more tolerant now", as this language suggests they need to be tolerant of something; it's a word most used against something negative. You and your situation aren't negative, but this is an example of how a phrase can be intended well but easily taken the wrong way.
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And this will be the real problem faced rather than who the OP chooses to be. In a vast majority of cases I really don't think anyone cares what the OP looks like or wants to be. The problem is the fear of getting it wrong.

In only 9 posts we've one person apologizing for their use of words and another picking up on someone elses choice of words. It's an absolute bloody minefield but apologizing and picking peoples terminology is a bigger problem to diversity than the choices the OP makes IMO.

I'm guessing the OP is getting a lot of advice and support over this period. For me maybe a bold brassy approach would be the way? I think if someone came in an made it clear no offence will be taken so just speak openly would really ally my fears of getting it wrong and could speak naturally rather than a calculated 'false' approach if that makes sense? Maybe some food for thought for the OP? Could be totally wrong of course.

[MrsAnonymousPerson]

Not offended

I've not been offended by anything in this thread, you've all been lovely.
I'm a liberal type, it's not my business what other people think or say.
I'd ask them to use the correct pronouns as a courtesy, and won't like them very much if they refuse to - but it's totally their right to refuse to accept that I am who I say I am.

It's all about the intent and I'm not going to take offense unless the intent is to cause offense!

But this is the problem, hiring me is a risk, an unknown. I am an unknown quantity to most. Even if there is no predjudice - it makes good business sense to hire the equally qualified candidate that's less risky.

[BlueSharp]

I've not been offended by anything in this thread, you've all been lovely.
I'm a liberal type, it's not my business what other people think or say.
I'd ask them to use the correct pronouns as a courtesy, and won't like them very much if they refuse to - but it's totally their right to refuse to accept that I am who I say I am.

It's all about the intent and I'm not going to take offense unless the intent is to cause offense!

But this is the problem, hiring me is a risk, an unknown. I am an unknown quantity to most. Even if there is no predjudice - it makes good business sense to hire the equally qualified candidate that's less risky.

I don't think you would suffer any more problems than any other woman in a male dominated tech industry. It makes business sense to hire the best candidate for the job and to be honest if you don't get a role because of trans-phobia that environment would of been a toxic work place for anyone on the LGBTQ spectrum and would be best avoided.

[CoolCat]

I've not been offended by anything in this thread, you've all been lovely.
I'm a liberal type, it's not my business what other people think or say.
I'd ask them to use the correct pronouns as a courtesy, and won't like them very much if they refuse to - but it's totally their right to refuse to accept that I am who I say I am.

It's all about the intent and I'm not going to take offense unless the intent is to cause offense!

But this is the problem, hiring me is a risk, an unknown. I am an unknown quantity to most. Even if there is no predjudice - it makes good business sense to hire the equally qualified candidate that's less risky.

I dont know the answers to your questions. But I do watch Fran Blanche on youtube a fair bit. She is a minor youtube celebrity, and trans. She has done a number of first rate videos on the challenges, which were quite informative for someone like me who had never given them a second thought. It was not something I ever really thought about as an issue, other than thinking some of the lefty progressives making a song and a dance about their version of diversity were nutcases. But having become a bit of a Fran Blanche fan I am much better informed, and would support any trans person I found myself working alongside. Maybe worth having a look through some of her videos if you have not done so already.

[northernladuk]

But this is the problem, hiring me is a risk, an unknown. I am an unknown quantity to most. Even if there is no predjudice - it makes good business sense to hire the equally qualified candidate that's less risky.

And sadly that is going to happen. It happens to the rest of us already to be fair. We've had posts about people losing gigs just because their face doesn't fit and nothing more. My work is fast moving to digital and looking at these teams on linkedin they are all young spunky grads. Won't catch me in an office with no socks on so I'm not going to get the gig. Can't deny I've worried about it in the past. Maybe the choice will reduce a little but I really don't think it's going to ruin your contracting career.

[CoolCat]

And sadly that is going to happen. It happens to the rest of us already to be fair. We've had posts about people losing gigs just because their face doesn't fit and nothing more. My work is fast moving to digital and looking at these teams on linkedin they are all young spunky grads. Won't catch me in an office with no socks on so I'm not going to get the gig. Can't deny I've worried about it in the past. Maybe the choice will reduce a little but I really don't think it's going to ruin your contracting career.

everywhere is prejudiced one way or another, even if they put up posters claiming otherwise. more important is the immediate circle of people around you, you will get good, bad, and middling like all the other kinds of prejudice. do you best and dont be too hard on yourself, thats the main thing.

[BrilloPad]

everywhere is prejudiced one way or another, even if they put up posters claiming otherwise. more important is the immediate circle of people around you, you will get good, bad, and middling like all the other kinds of prejudice. do you best and dont be too hard on yourself, thats the main thing.

Indeed. I am currently work in the offices of a big bank who are big time promoting world mental health day tomorrow. Of course, their focus on annoying as many staff as possible on minor issues causes half the mental health issues in the building.

[fullyautomatix]

I worked with a M2F consultant few years ago. Very talented and really had no issues working within a team. Made her code do the talking.

Sadly she decided to reverse the procedure which went wrong, had a breakdown and left the company.

I think in london you will have no issues, everybody is aware.

[Casablanca]

I think you have had good advice. I believe companies are generally more diversity aware these days and supportive. I have worked alongside trans people (their preferred term was transsexual) and they didn't particularly pass, but when we were talking about it they confided in me that they generally felt accepted as just another person.

As a woman, I make this plea- please don't present yourself as a caricature or overly sexualised woman in the workplace.
Some people (Pips Bunce for example) do not always dress as professional women and their imitation of what they perceive to be feminine relies on stereotypes. We are not inherently more empathetic, or caring just socialised that way. Womanhood is not a costume or something to be fetishised (at least Grayson Perry is open about his AGP).

Very best wishes. I hope the path you have chosen works out well for you and addresses the dysphoria. I suggest reaching out to people like Debbie Hayton on twitter and Seven Hex (I think she is still off twitter) who are great examples of trans MtF who understand and support women against attacks from the more radical transactivists.

[Snooky]

Most larger organisations are very conscious and supportive of diversity and will have specific policies and programs to protect and encourage difference in the workforce.

In terms of broaching the subject, you could either not mention it in applications and be prepared to discuss it at an early point in any interview, or actually make it clear in your application/CV.

I really doubt it will adversely affect your chances of being considered for roles; in fact, some organisations may have a "positive discrimination" policy to try and encourage a more diverse and representative workforce, so you may actually find it improves your prospects.

Best wishes for what must be an incredibly difficult, but hopefully ultimately very rewarding, stage in your life.