Real life coping strategy Real life coping strategy
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  1. #1

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    Default Real life coping strategy

    I shall now regale you with a real life tale wot appened to me mate. It made me chuckle, and has had a life altering effect on me, and he.

    So me mate is driving ome, and finds a van blocking his drive. Not uncommon given where he lives, right next door to the pub. Anyways, he gets out, wanders up to the van and spys the van driver inside. He politely taps on the window, and the van driver winds down his window using the electric window motor and associated button press. Then he asks the van driver to move his van as he is blocking his drive.

    The van drivers response was classic. "I was here first mate".

    My mate raised a boney index finger ready to retort with the sentence formed in his head that was along the lines of "Actually mate, I was here first as I moved in in 1997", but then suddenly lowered his hand and calmly wandered off. His reasoning being that it was such a cretinous answer, that the guy was clearly so utterly thick and stupid that there was no point in entering into a debate about it. You win mate, on account of sheer bellendness.

    Then he parked in the street and went inside and carried on with his evening, only to return later and stick the car on his drive once the bellend had off fooked.

    So this then made him think. It is the perfect answer to all of life's questions. When a stupid client rings up, asking the same question as been asked umpteen times before, and gives the same response, instead just say "I was here first".

    In fact, the more disjointed and innappropriate it is, the better.

    I have tried it out and it really works. The look of confusion on the recipient adds to the satisfaction.

    So the next time you are dealing with a cretin, and they are asking you for stuff, and you just can't be bothered to repeat yourself, you now know what to say.

    All the best

    Suity
    Knock first as I might be balancing my chakras.

  2. #2

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    VectraMan - scorchio!

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    I was here first mate.
    Will work inside IR35. Or for food.

  3. #3

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    Quote Originally Posted by VectraMan View Post
    I was here first mate.
    Knock first as I might be balancing my chakras.

  4. #4

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    eek is a fount of knowledge

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    Yep the best thing to do with s is to ignore them.

    For those who don't know how to do that on this forum its not difficult, just click this link and press yes..
    Last edited by eek; 24th February 2015 at 13:15.

  5. #5

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    Quote Originally Posted by eek View Post
    Yep the best thing to do with s is to ignore them.

    For those who don't know how to do that on this forum its not difficult, just click this link
    Knock first as I might be balancing my chakras.

  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by eek View Post
    Yep the best thing to do with s is to ignore them.

    For those who don't know how to do that on this forum its not difficult, just click this link and press yes..
    Your ignore list not working, then?

  7. #7

    bored now

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    Quote Originally Posted by vwdan View Post
    Your ignore list not working, then?
    Working perfectly well. Suity isn't on it due to his value....

  8. #8

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    I'd have popped to the local shop procured supplies and left fish in his air vents

    He probably annoys so many people that by the time he's worked out what has happened it will be hard to trace back to the actual event

  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by MicrosoftBob View Post
    I'd have popped to the local shop procured supplies and left fish in his air vents

    He probably annoys so many people that by the time he's worked out what has happened it will be hard to trace back to the actual event
    But if he was sitting in the van wouldn't he see you do it?
    I'm not even an atheist so much as I am an antitheist; I not only maintain that all religions are versions of the same untruth, but I hold that the influence of churches, and the effect of religious belief, is positively harmful. [Christopher Hitchens]

  10. #10

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    Quote Originally Posted by GlenW View Post
    But if he was sitting in the van wouldn't he see you do it?
    Indeed. He was there first, after all.
    Knock first as I might be balancing my chakras.

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