Although This Easter remember, Jesus was not a zombie. He was not mindless nor did he consume anyone.
Nor was he a ghoul or a wight. Although his soul and intellect were intact, he was not a rotting corpse.
He was not a vampire. While he transubstantiated wine into blood, he never drank it from a person.
Jesus was not a ghost or a wraith. He was corporeal and still had his wounds.
It is clear. Jesus was a lich.
A lich is created when a powerful magician or king striving for eternal life uses spells or rituals to bind his soul to his animated corpse and thereby achieves immortality. Liches are depicted as being clearly cadaverous, their bodies still bearing the wounds they received before their death. Liches often have the power of necromancy, which allow them to bring the dead back to life.
But its still funny
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