Happy Zombie Jesus Day Happy Zombie Jesus Day
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  1. #1

    TykeLike

    SimonMac is a fount of knowledge

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    Default Happy Zombie Jesus Day



    Although This Easter remember, Jesus was not a zombie. He was not mindless nor did he consume anyone.

    Nor was he a ghoul or a wight. Although his soul and intellect were intact, he was not a rotting corpse.

    He was not a vampire. While he transubstantiated wine into blood, he never drank it from a person.

    Jesus was not a ghost or a wraith. He was corporeal and still had his wounds.

    It is clear. Jesus was a lich.

    A lich is created when a powerful magician or king striving for eternal life uses spells or rituals to bind his soul to his animated corpse and thereby achieves immortality. Liches are depicted as being clearly cadaverous, their bodies still bearing the wounds they received before their death. Liches often have the power of necromancy, which allow them to bring the dead back to life.

    But its still funny
    “Live a good life. If there are gods and they are just, then they will not care how devout you have been, but will welcome you based on the virtues you have lived by. If there are gods, but unjust, then you should not want to worship them. If there are no gods, then you will be gone, but will have lived a noble life that will live on in the memories of your loved ones.”

    ― Marcus Aurelius

  2. #2

    Potty-trained

    suityou01 is NOT a disguised employee

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    Judgement day cometh.
    Knock first as I might be balancing my chakras.

  3. #3

    Godlike

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    I get cross at Easter
    Brexiteers remind me of religious fanatics, only faith, no facts.

  4. #4

    TykeLike

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    Quote Originally Posted by Paddy View Post
    I get cross at Easter
    “Live a good life. If there are gods and they are just, then they will not care how devout you have been, but will welcome you based on the virtues you have lived by. If there are gods, but unjust, then you should not want to worship them. If there are no gods, then you will be gone, but will have lived a noble life that will live on in the memories of your loved ones.”

    ― Marcus Aurelius

  5. #5

    Old Greg is my bitch

    administrator - scorchio!

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    So do I when the inlaws come to stay for a week

  6. #6

    Banned

    FatLazyContractor is NOT a disguised employee


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    Quote Originally Posted by administrator View Post
    So do I when the inlaws come to stay for a week


    Do you also run a holiday cottage?

  7. #7

    Nice But Dim

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    "Being nice costs nothing and sometimes gets you extra bacon" - Pondlife.

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