How to travel VT first class while paying ***** all. How to travel VT first class while paying ***** all.
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  1. #1

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    Default How to travel VT first class while paying ***** all.

    Lie to the train manager that the bloke checking your ticket told you to get on this train (no ticket check at gate) park up in first class with wailing sprog. Tell your friend on the other end of the line that you are relaxing in FC, train mgr comes in, pretend you can't speak english and throw a bunch of tickets at him. When he tries to tell you that you are not in the right carriage train feign ignorance, ergo you get to stay in first class. Where do I sign up to UKIP to remove these parasites?

  2. #2

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    Or get a job as a bishop, as the gaurds move them into 1st even though they only have standard tickets...

  3. #3

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    Or be blind or some other way visibly disabled but be very nice, so then they feel guilty......
    "You’re just a bad memory who doesn’t know when to go away" JR

  4. #4

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    Quote Originally Posted by SlipTheJab View Post
    Lie to the train manager that the bloke checking your ticket told you to get on this train (no ticket check at gate) park up in first class with wailing sprog. Tell your friend on the other end of the line that you are relaxing in FC, train mgr comes in, pretend you can't speak english and throw a bunch of tickets at him. When he tries to tell you that you are not in the right carriage train feign ignorance, ergo you get to stay in first class. Where do I sign up to UKIP to remove these parasites?
    I've seen similar in Germany but they deal with it by fining them and throwing them off the train, regardless of what language they speak. They'll also call the police who will be waiting at the next stop and they will then check their papers and if not in order, will deport them. Maybe the UK train conductors need to MTFU
    Brexit is having a wee in the middle of the room at a house party because nobody is talking to you, and then complaining about the smell.

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    Quote Originally Posted by darmstadt View Post
    I've seen similar in Germany but they deal with it by fining them and throwing them off the train, regardless of what language they speak. They'll also call the police who will be waiting at the next stop and they will then check their papers and if not in order, will deport them. Maybe the UK train conductors need to MTFU
    We did Naples to Rome by train when the boys were very small, the carriage we booked for, and got into, was okay but after about 10 minutes the guard came and moved us to 1st class as it wasn't full and we had 'bambinos' with us. Now that is civilisation at its best.
    I'm not even an atheist so much as I am an antitheist; I not only maintain that all religions are versions of the same untruth, but I hold that the influence of churches, and the effect of religious belief, is positively harmful. [Christopher Hitchens]

  6. #6

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    Did this work for you?

  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by GlenW View Post
    We did Naples to Rome by train when the boys were very small, the carriage we booked for, and got into, was okay but after about 10 minutes the guard came and moved us to 1st class as it wasn't full and we had 'bambinos' with us. Now that is civilisation at its best.
    I'm sure people who paid for 1st class tickets fully agreed with you how civilised it was, especially if your lads were being normal children (i.e. noisy).

  8. #8

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    Travelling back from Brussels on the Euro Star last year, we were moved to a private cabin as the Missus was heavily pregnant. Even brought us food and drinks.

  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by darmstadt View Post
    I've seen similar in Germany but they deal with it by fining them and throwing them off the train, regardless of what language they speak. They'll also call the police who will be waiting at the next stop and they will then check their papers and if not in order, will deport them back to the UK where they can easily claim asylum.
    FTFY

  10. #10

    Faqqed Off

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    This thread seems to be turning into a reverse four Yorkshiremen sketch.

    When I came back from Madrid by train, they put on a special train just for me and the wife because we were English and deserved better...
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