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Rant

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    Rant

    Malcolm Tucker

    Russell Brand, you like big words so here's one for you pal '****offyouannoyingc**t'. Remember when you used to be funny? Nah, me neither. There was that one time you told an elderly national treasure that you'd ****ed his granddaughter, that was a bit funny I suppose, but still, it was a bit of a ***** trick wasn't it Russell? And I thought John Cleese was a twat for slapping the wee bastard about a bit.
    You know what wasn't so funny Russell? That time you thought you were Che Guevara because you took your shirt off, stopped washing and recorded hours of yourself talking absolute tulipe. Was that like some weird sober trip that lasted months you scruffy gimp faced condom abuser. Was it something to do with the drug withdrawal? Did you wake up the day after the election to that lipless ham faced pig fancier smiling and waving at you from the tele and think 'oh ****'? You did that didn't you Russell? You told a load of thick impressionable little tulips to burn their polling cards didn't you, you matted haired vacant eyed giant toothed ****. You caused indefinite Tory rule, Brexit and ultimately Trump, it's all you're ******* fault you dictionary swallowing Jagger wobbling spunk slinger. You're the ******* epicentre of this atomic cluster ****, you lit the touch paper, you're the ******* instigator, the catalyst, the nucleus aren't you, you Cockney sex crazed meditating yoga-er. You philandering tulipe espousing wide gazed mind corrupter. You whole food eating tantra preaching high sexed ****. It's all your ******* fault Russell, there's some ******* Trews for ya.

    Share *****.
    Brexit is having a wee in the middle of the room at a house party because nobody is talking to you, and then complaining about the smell.

    #2
    Charity shops have rules on items they won't accept, as these won't sell and/or are objectionable.

    I don't recall the whole list. But these include, in order of increasing uselessness and repulsiveness:

    * VHS or Betabax videos

    * dangerous old electrical goods with live wires hanging out

    * underwear, soiled with skidmarks and crusty piss and puke stains

    * books by Russell Brand
    Work in the public sector? Read the IR35 FAQ here

    Comment


      #3
      Originally posted by OwlHoot View Post
      Charity shops have rules on items they won't accept, as these won't sell and/or are objectionable.

      I don't recall the whole list. But these include, in order of increasing uselessness and repulsiveness:

      * VHS or Betabax videos

      * dangerous old electrical goods with live wires hanging out

      * underwear, soiled with skidmarks and crusty piss and puke stains

      * books by Russell Brand
      They put Russell Brand books in the recycling bin.
      "You’re just a bad memory who doesn’t know when to go away" JR

      Comment


        #4
        Originally posted by SueEllen View Post
        They put Russell Brand books in the recycling bin.
        And the recycling bin usually vomits them straight back out again...
        His heart is in the right place - shame we can't say the same about his brain...

        Comment

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