Coping with a baby

[BoggyMcCBoggyFace]

Thanks for replies.

He was actually better to deal with as a new born, tag team worked then when he woke every 2-3hrs for feed it was manageable then. It been since the first time got ill at 7 months he got sickness, his first cold, then hand foot and mouth and was ill for 3 weeks total, then once better took another 2 months to get sleeping sort of ok again. This time he had a cold and tonsillitis he had a fever for 11 days straight, had him at A&E as temp hit 41, they said it viral so had to ride it out, he got better for a day or so now got another cold but since the tonsillitis he has got really bad, he now won't settle with me he always wants his mum (who has been ill to), getting him to bed is battle put him down at 8pm and it will take 2-3 hours to get to sleep, tried control crying etc, he will then wake about midnight then its all down hill from there, he wont settle and just cries odd 30mins here and there sleep, I don't understand how he cant be tired. It doesn't seem right to me, but he may be he just a baby who gets sick a lot and crying is his thing when ill, he very pale even the hospital said that they checked his had low white blood count but they recon that was from fever. I'm starting to think there is something more going on with him health wise but may be I'm just being paranoid as first kid so nothing to compare against / and I don't know any diff.

[BrilloPad]

Thanks for replies.

He was actually better to deal with as a new born, tag team worked then when he woke every 2-3hrs for feed it was manageable then. It been since the first time got ill at 7 months he got sickness, his first cold, then hand foot and mouth and was ill for 3 weeks total, then once better took another 2 months to get sleeping sort of ok again. This time he had a cold and tonsillitis he had a fever for 11 days straight, had him at A&E as temp hit 41, they said it viral so had to ride it out, he got better for a day or so now got another cold but since the tonsillitis he has got really bad, he now won't settle with me he always wants his mum (who has been ill to), getting him to bed is battle put him down at 8pm and it will take 2-3 hours to get to sleep, tried control crying etc, he will then wake about midnight then its all down hill from there, he wont settle and just cries odd 30mins here and there sleep, I don't understand how he cant be tired. It doesn't seem right to me, but he may be he just a baby who gets sick a lot and crying is his thing when ill, he very pale even the hospital said that they checked his had low white blood count but they recon that was from fever. I'm starting to think there is something more going on with him health wise but may be I'm just being paranoid as first kid so nothing to compare against / and I don't know any diff.

If you have health concerns, go to your GP.

You don't mention how he sleeps during the day. I suspect he is doing a lot of sleeping. At nap is fine at that age, maybe an hour or two morning or afternoon depending on his body rhythm. He needs stimulation the rest of the time.

[vetran]

If you have health concerns, go to your GP.

You don't mention how he sleeps during the day. I suspect he is doing a lot of sleeping. At nap is fine at that age, maybe an hour or two morning or afternoon depending on his body rhythm. He needs stimulation the rest of the time.

the nursery will probably be getting him down to sleep as much as they can, they are easier to deal with then.

[vadhert]

I feel your pain. My little one is 16 months old and can be a right handful.

My wife is away in Vegas for a week next week so its me and her at home.

How I wish the role was reversed as the wife would rather stay home .

Having an easy gig that lets you WFH and choose your hours makes a big difference though.

[BrilloPad]

the nursery will probably be getting him down to sleep as much as they can, they are easier to deal with then.

Ah yes - I missed that bit from the OP.

Nurseries will make sure no harm comes to the child. But they will not work in its best interests either. As you say, they take the easy path.

I only let my kids go to nursery aged 3. With the bigger ones that was because they were twins so had each other. The youngest was in his own world almost all the time - he liked his own room and if you went in to play with him he would take your hand and walk you out of the room.

At nursery, baby bp was the happiest child there. I will never forget picking him up one time and another child called me daddy - they wanted to be taken home. Broke my heart and nearly made me cry. Children do need a lot of attention. I suppose its a side effect of the modern world....

[pr1]

Thanks for replies.

He was actually better to deal with as a new born, tag team worked then when he woke every 2-3hrs for feed it was manageable then. It been since the first time got ill at 7 months he got sickness, his first cold, then hand foot and mouth and was ill for 3 weeks total, then once better took another 2 months to get sleeping sort of ok again. This time he had a cold and tonsillitis he had a fever for 11 days straight, had him at A&E as temp hit 41, they said it viral so had to ride it out, he got better for a day or so now got another cold but since the tonsillitis he has got really bad, he now won't settle with me he always wants his mum (who has been ill to), getting him to bed is battle put him down at 8pm and it will take 2-3 hours to get to sleep, tried control crying etc, he will then wake about midnight then its all down hill from there, he wont settle and just cries odd 30mins here and there sleep, I don't understand how he cant be tired. It doesn't seem right to me, but he may be he just a baby who gets sick a lot and crying is his thing when ill, he very pale even the hospital said that they checked his had low white blood count but they recon that was from fever. I'm starting to think there is something more going on with him health wise but may be I'm just being paranoid as first kid so nothing to compare against / and I don't know any diff.

We have a 3yr old and 13 month old and tag teaming was the only way we managed not to kill each other with tiredness/stress - we take alternate nights of being "on duty" then the person "on rest" takes over from 05:30am so the other person can get an power nap in before having to get up for the day. If it's a particularly bad night the person on rest sleeps in the spare room or downstairs to avoid being disturbed too much. It makes it a lot more cop-able being kept awake all night if you know you have the "night off" the following night

Healthy babies will sleep around 11-13 hrs per 24, so if he's not averaging that then I think there could be some underlying problem - as BP said maybe getting too much sleep in the day that they're not tired enough at night. Lots of stimulation and going outside for a walk in the afternoon we found makes them sleep a lot better at night

Good luck - you're definitely not on your own with being on the brink of insanity. It will get better (so I'm told )

[chopper]

I have a nearly-three-week-old at home, our third child. All three of them have had different traits at night - the middle one slept through the night early on, this one needs feeding all the bloody time. SWMBO goes to bed about 10ish, I stay up until about 1am with the baby, he wakes up at 4am and she deals, and I then get up at 7 to get up with the other kids and get them ready for school and get them to the childminder, etc. I actually try and feed the baby at 12am without waking him up for it, which worked with the other two.

Babies get ill and can't cope with it, and once they start nursery it is like a conveyor belt of disease.

Babies go through growth spurts when they get narky all the damn time - they need feeding more and it seems you can't comfort them.

Babies also go through regressions, so when you think you have it nailed then suddenly it all goes downhill. The sleeping routine you thought you had is gone. The feeding routine is gone. It all goes south.

Babies miss you and worry you're not coming back even though you've never not come back. Controlled crying at bed time worked for my first two.

You'll be preparing yourself for The Terrible Twos, but that's nothing compared to the Twatting Threes or the ******* Fours. When they stop eating nicely at the table, when the bedtime routine turns to tulip, when they do nothing you ask, and when you literally can't wait to dump them off at anybody who will have them and you know damn well they'll behave for other people.

For me, it doesn't really seem to turn a permanent corner until they're about 6. Other people's kids may vary.

When you have multiple kids, they take it in turns to be evil. You've just got one to sleep? Another one needs dealing with.

Oh, and then there is the twice a year change in the clocks which also adds a new dynamic into things. Something to look forward to next weekend.

So along with the change in path your life takes, no longer able to do as much of the things you want (going out, hobbies, etc) along with the total dedication to these tiny little humans and the inevitable lack of sleep, sex or adult conversation - it is inevitable that you'll feel down from time to time, and inevitable that you will think they are little tulips and start looking for the returns department at the maternity ward. It is only human to feel sad and down. It does get better and eventually easier. I am told that eventually they will move out, just when I'm too old to resume the life I once had. Make sure you make time for you, for you and your missus. If you have some of your own life, then the kids will seem less of a handbrake. The fact that people have more than one child shows that it is possible to put the bad times behind you. Or that women trick men into sex.

[BrilloPad]

So along with the change in path your life takes, no longer able to do as much of the things you want (going out, hobbies, etc) along with the total dedication to these tiny little humans and the inevitable lack of sleep, sex or adult conversation

Nature provides a handy contraceptive. It is called children....



I remember singing "Peter Rabbit" to my twins aged 6 months. I thought "I used to be a partier. I rogerer. A gorger. A puker." But I was far happier when singing Peter Rabbit than all the nonsense I did when younger.

[BrilloPad]

women trick men into sex.

A man should always practice safe sex. Use a false name and address.

[LondonManc]

Nature provides a handy contraceptive. It is called children....



I remember singing "Peter Rabbit" to my twins aged 6 months. I thought "I used to be a partier. I rogerer. A gorger. A puker." But I was far happier when singing Peter Rabbit than all the nonsense I did when younger.

Sounds like a fetish. Each to their own.