• Visitors can check out the Forum FAQ by clicking this link. You have to register before you can post: click the REGISTER link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. View our Forum Privacy Policy.
  • Want to receive the latest contracting news and advice straight to your inbox? Sign up to the ContractorUK newsletter here. Every sign up will also be entered into a draw to WIN £100 Amazon vouchers!

They seek your expertise

Collapse
X
  •  
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    They seek your expertise

    Just had an email from a relative asking if I'd do her accountancy in return for a bottle of vodka. She is a sole trader, has a limited company and owns rental property so you can imagine how long it would all take. Return email with image of a barge pole pending. I did another relative's tax return last year for same price, just the once supposedly. This year, guess what, been asked again.

    IT too. More recent stuff an acquaintance's email, neighbour's internet. Was told a female acquaintance had asked a friend for my telephone number, was excited as she is a largish lady, just my type. Turns out she doesn't want my body, just some computer advice. Bah!!!

    Do you lot find your IT/accounting/business experience makes you prey?

    PS Solution. Say yes. Make a total cockup of it!
    bloggoth

    If everything isn't black and white, I say, 'Why the hell not?'
    John Wayne (My guru, not to be confused with my beloved prophet Jeremy Clarkson)

    #2
    Originally posted by xoggoth View Post
    Just had an email from a relative asking if I'd do her accountancy in return for a bottle of vodka.
    I guess it depends on the bottle....

    Comment


      #3
      HMRC want 25% of that bottle of vodka.

      Re the large lady - tell her you will sort out her IT issues for a BJ. Though HMRC will want 25% of that too....

      Comment


        #4
        Originally posted by xoggoth View Post
        Just had an email from a relative asking if I'd do her accountancy in return for a bottle of vodka. She is a sole trader, has a limited company and owns rental property so you can imagine how long it would all take. Return email with image of a barge pole pending. I did another relative's tax return last year for same price, just the once supposedly. This year, guess what, been asked again.

        IT too. More recent stuff an acquaintance's email, neighbour's internet. Was told a female acquaintance had asked a friend for my telephone number, was excited as she is a largish lady, just my type. Turns out she doesn't want my body, just some computer advice. Bah!!!

        Do you lot find your IT/accounting/business experience makes you prey?

        PS Solution. Say yes. Make a total cockup of it!
        Can you drink the vodka and then do the accountancy?

        Comment


          #5
          Originally posted by BrilloPad View Post
          Though HMRC will want 25% of that too....
          I'm sure he could send a payment on account.

          Comment


            #6
            My family think I am an international porn star. They don't ask for favours
            What happens in General, stays in General.
            You know what they say about assumptions!

            Comment


              #7
              You bunch of scrooges.

              I have people ask me to sort out their various computer issues. I just tell them my usual rate. Then I tell them my favourite tipples.

              That way, they're aware of how much I value myself, and I get to help my mates.
              Down with racism. Long live miscegenation!

              Comment


                #8
                Originally posted by NotAllThere View Post
                You bunch of scrooges.

                I have people ask me to sort out their various computer issues. I just tell them my usual rate. Then I tell them my favourite tipples.

                That way, they're aware of how much I value myself, and I get to help my mates.
                Do they insist you help remotely?

                Comment


                  #9
                  Originally posted by barrydidit View Post
                  I'm sure he could send a payment on account.
                  Be careful not to go overdrawn on the sperm bank....

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Originally posted by NotAllThere View Post
                    You bunch of scrooges.

                    I have people ask me to sort out their various computer issues. I just tell them my usual rate. Then I tell them my favourite tipples.

                    That way, they're aware of how much I value myself, and I get to help my mates.
                    How much meths do you charge per hour?

                    Comment

                    Working...
                    X