Teenagers are little sh@tes - spy software recommendation?

[original PM]

Take the laptop at bed time.

Take the phone at bed time.

Take the tablet at bed time.

If they have no device then they cannot use it when they shouldn't. It really shouldn't be complicated to work this out.

No because then he will grow up thinking that if no one stops him it is acceptable behaviour

and that will not end well.

The issue is the kid needs to get out of bed - so concentrate on that.

Eventually the kid will understand that if they stay up late they will be tired when they HAVE to get up in the morning.

[LondonManc]

Not on my tp-link unfortunately. I can deny wi-fi access according to a schedule but not wired (he uses ip over power). I can block mac but not to a schedule unfortunately.

Get one of those timer plugs for the IP over power, about £4 from Toolstation.

[psychocandy]

You are probably not teaching him the right things

The fact is he needs to get out of bed to go to school - anything that happens prior to that is immaterial - if he wants to play all night - fine as long as you get up for school.

So when he cannot get out of bed chuck a bucket of cold water over him

and keep doing that each day - he will eventually learn that he needs to get our of bed when told.

All the other things you mention are not teaching him about the consequences of his actions and they will also teach him that unless someone tells you otherwise it is acceptable.

Tough love always works best.

If he says he struggles to not go online because he enjoys it so much work ask him what solutions he can come up with which would work.

Yes thats just it. He looks like total crap in the morning, hes gone back to bed a few times now, and we've had complaints from the school that hes falling asleep in school.

We've tried it all - goes in one year and out the other.

We had a spate a few weeks ago where we'd get him up, he'd go back to bed 5 mins later. You can't check a 14 year old is getting ready constantly. We ended up making him go to bed at 9pm for a week - idea being he'd go to sleep because there was bugger all else to do.

[original PM]

and what happens when it is not something you can take away?

[psychocandy]

I had a free trial of Norton Family, years back with a new laptop. Not sure how difficult it would be for a tech savvy teenager to circumvent though

https://uk.norton.com/norton-family-...downloads:home

tech-savvy nope not a clue. Gaming savvy most definitely.

[northernladuk]

No because then he will grow up thinking that if no one stops him it is acceptable behaviour

and that will not end well.

The issue is the kid needs to get out of bed - so concentrate on that.

Eventually the kid will understand that if they stay up late they will be tired when they HAVE to get up in the morning.

Doesn't really work dealing with the fall out not the actual problem. So he get's up and falls asleep at school. You've achieved nothing.

[GreenMirror]

I hope hes not posting on CUK all night.....

[northernladuk]

Yes an option..... BUT we do try to treat him with a bit of respect and trust if we can.....

Yes he has issues which doesn't help. Out big problem is determining what is caused by his "issues" and what is just bad behaviour. Its the $64K question to be honest.

He's a teenager, that only works so far. They are wired to push everything to the limit. The draw of the game far outweighs the draw of doing something right. It's a cycle that has always existed and always will. No point thrashing a point that he is just never going happen. The chemicals released during puberty will cause much of it and it's hard to fight that. Particularly at teens more than any other point when their brains are exploding with puberty and growing up you have to sometimes take a different approach until they are through it.

I am surprised you haven't even touched on the safety aspect even though I've hinted it. If you are 100% sure all he is doing is playing games then you've got lucky. But I bet you don't know for sure and should be focussing on that aspect with a PC in his room.

Can't you set up parental controls in Windows so he just can't physically log in during certain times? Pushing the limits about playing games is general behaviour. Every kid pushes it where they can.

[psychocandy]

He's a teenager, that only works so far. They are wired to push everything to the limit. The draw of the game far outweighs the draw of doing something right. It's a cycle that has always existed and always will. No point thrashing a point that he is just never going happen. The chemicals released during puberty will cause much of it and it's hard to fight that. Particularly at teens more than any other point when their brains are exploding with puberty and growing up you have to sometimes take a different approach until they are through it.

I am surprised you haven't even touched on the safety aspect even though I've hinted it. If you are 100% sure all he is doing is playing games then you've got lucky. But I bet you don't know for sure and should be focussing on that aspect with a PC in his room.

Can't you set up parental controls in Windows so he just can't physically log in during certain times? Pushing the limits about playing games is general behaviour. Every kid pushes it where they can.

Yeh good point. Time to look into that....

Thing is there's pushing it, getting caught, getting punished, then doing same next day. He gets caught every time but still doesnt learn. Jeez

[northernladuk]

Yeh good point. Time to look into that....

Thing is there's pushing it, getting caught, getting punished, then doing same next day. He gets caught every time but still doesnt learn. Jeez

That's teenagers the world over, and not just teenagers. You post crap in prof forums which gets moved to General and you still do it. I get infracted for poor posting in prof forums. Did I learn from the first infraction?

You've got to take a step back and look at reality.