Unethical Life Pro Tips Unethical Life Pro Tips
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  1. #1

    Fingers like lightning

    GJABS - scorchio!

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    Default Unethical Life Pro Tips

    An entertaining list of Viz-style top tips for the unethical among us here.

    Such as:

    Save business cards of people you don't like. If you ever hit a parked car accidentally, just write "sorry" on the back and leave it on the windshield

    If a computer illiterate relative/friend asks you to fix their slow computer, boost their cursor speed by a notch or two. They’ll instantly notice a difference and thank you.

    Need friends? Create an attractive fake tinder profile of the opposite sex, start leading on a bunch of people, arrange a date with all of them on the same time, same place. Show up as well. Announce that they must have pulled a prank on all of you and suggest you all go drinking together

    Don't get caught by your boss reading news or sports articles on your computer at work. Quickly copy the content of the article into an email and read it from there. Your boss will think you are dealing with an intensive email and will leave you alone.

    Give the same perfume to your wife and your girlfriend. It could save your ass one day.

    Drug tests at work? Bring homemade food for the office with slight amounts of thc. They can’t fire everyone..

    If your mail service loses your mail a lot, keep sending letters to yourself but insure them. It costs about $10 to insure for $300 so as long as the courier service loses your mail more than 1 times out of 30, you're making money


    Unethical Life Pro Tips

    Any more?

    Happy Christmas.


  2. #2

    Richer than sasguru

    DimPrawn is a fount of knowledge

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    Give the same perfume to your wife and your girlfriend. It could save your ass one day.
    And you couldn't have posted this like 5 years ago?

    Three-and-a-half years, two extensions, seven defections, 21 deselections, three prime ministers, countless amendments, two prorogations, one Supreme Court judgement, 66 million Brits losing the will to live and were still at square one...

  3. #3

    More fingers than teeth

    OwlHoot - scorchio!

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    Young kids likely to misbehave this Christmas, and you happen to have an open fire?

    Gift wrap a load of empty boxes, and pile them under the Christmas tree.

    Then each time one of the kids is disobedient or noisy or messy, make a show of carefully selecting a box and then throw it into the fire!
    Work in the public sector? Read the IR35 FAQ here

  4. #4

    More fingers than teeth

    xoggoth - scorchio!

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    Isn't it easier to just chuck the kids in the fire? That's next year sorted as well.
    bloggoth

    If everything isn't black and white, I say, 'Why the hell not?'
    John Wayne (My guru, not to be confused with my beloved prophet Jeremy Clarkson)

  5. #5

    Fingers like lightning

    GJABS - scorchio!

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    Quote Originally Posted by xoggoth View Post
    Isn't it easier to just chuck the kids in the fire? That's next year sorted as well.
    Terrible.
    Goes along with: "If your child is diagnosed with autism or cancer, save hundreds of thousands of dollars by instantly putting them up for adoption."
    lol

  6. #6

    Respect my authoritah!

    NotAllThere is always on top

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    If any of your children are naughty, look meaningfully out of the window at the flowerbeds and murmer... we used to have 5 children, but two misbehaved...


    (Assuming you currently have 3 kids of course).
    Hmm. I'm beginning to suspect that you need to find all the packing the computer came in...

  7. #7

    Contractor Among Contractors

    chopper is NOT a disguised employee


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    Is a child choking on an ice cube? Simply pour a gallon of boiling water down their throat.

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