Bad Sex Awards 2019 Bad Sex Awards 2019 - Page 2
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  1. #11

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    GhostofTarbera - scorchio!

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    Quote Originally Posted by mb31 View Post
    ladymuck

    When I’m old and wrinkly
    I want you to iron me
    Press your hot and steamy body
    Against mine
    Next Tuesday then?


    Sent from my iPhone using Contractor UK Forum

  2. #12

    Banned

    mb31 is a permanent contractor


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    I'm a late thirties NS, drug and disease free and I have a GSOH (although my wife would disagree). Electric frog equates to Cameron Diaz in my mind's eye.


  3. #13

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    GJABS - scorchio!

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    Quote Originally Posted by GhostofTarbera View Post
    As one of your blockers

    Marigolds groves and fisting are something one can not accommodate

    Ah, you're the one I only sent the first two pages to (out of 5), before you ran off crying to yer mam

  4. #14

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    Quote Originally Posted by GhostofTarbera View Post
    As one of your blockers

    Marigolds groves and fisting are something one can not accommodate


    Sent from my iPhone using Contractor UK Forum
    HWMBO says use more lube, you amateur

  5. #15

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    Quote Originally Posted by mb31 View Post
    ladymuck

    When I’m old and wrinkly
    I want you to iron me
    Press your hot and steamy body
    Against mine
    And they say romance isn't dead

  6. #16

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    vwdan - scorchio!


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    Quote Originally Posted by GJABS View Post
    "ask me about my dark fantasy".
    Maaaany moons ago I was working in educational IT and a group of us were invited to go and trial some new safe guarding software. Quite clever for its day - it would basically monitor all screen activity so it could log and monitor pretty much anything - e-mail, chat, websites, forums even just typing into word docs.

    Anyway, we all gathered in this training room and to kick off and demonstrate some of the baseline filtering and realtime monitoring/reporting the guy asked us all to go to Google and type in something that would turn back kinky results. It was a great moment as we all jumped at the chance at searching for porn at work, dived into Google and then immediately stopped as everybody realised that their search items were A) About to be shown on screen and B) Would say a lot more about them than the software.

    In the end, after a few minutes, there was a stream of not very inventive searches for boring variations of "naked women"

  7. #17

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    GJABS - scorchio!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Paddy View Post
    As I say, one swallow does not make a summer.
    It can in my case
    Last edited by GJABS; 27th November 2019 at 23:08.

  8. #18

    My post count is Majestic

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    Quote Originally Posted by GJABS View Post
    This is a link about erotic fiction.

    On my Grindr profile, one way I am finding I can get more messages, is to say "ask me about my dark fantasy".
    People are very curious.
    Trouble is, when I send this work of fiction to them (which I carefully wrote), it makes them laugh instead. Before calling me a sick puppy and blocking me
    yeah sorry about that
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

  9. #19

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    Quote Originally Posted by Paddy View Post
    As I say, one swallow does not make a summer.
    Or, 'One swallow does not make a stunner...'

    His heart is in the right place - shame we can't say the same about his brain...

  10. #20

    Nice But Dim

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mordac View Post
    Or, 'One swallow does not make a stunner...'

    But it does make a good blowjob.
    "Being nice costs nothing and sometimes gets you extra bacon" - Pondlife.

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