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Bad Sex Awards 2019

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    #11
    Originally posted by mb31 View Post
    ladymuck

    When I’m old and wrinkly
    I want you to iron me
    Press your hot and steamy body
    Against mine
    Next Tuesday then?


    Sent from my iPhone using Contractor UK Forum

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      #12
      I'm a late thirties NS, drug and disease free and I have a GSOH (although my wife would disagree). Electric frog equates to Cameron Diaz in my mind's eye.

      Comment


        #13
        Originally posted by GhostofTarbera View Post
        As one of your blockers

        Marigolds groves and fisting are something one can not accommodate

        Ah, you're the one I only sent the first two pages to (out of 5), before you ran off crying to yer mam

        Comment


          #14
          Originally posted by GhostofTarbera View Post
          As one of your blockers

          Marigolds groves and fisting are something one can not accommodate


          Sent from my iPhone using Contractor UK Forum
          HWMBO says use more lube, you amateur

          Comment


            #15
            Originally posted by mb31 View Post
            ladymuck

            When I’m old and wrinkly
            I want you to iron me
            Press your hot and steamy body
            Against mine
            And they say romance isn't dead

            Comment


              #16
              Originally posted by GJABS View Post
              "ask me about my dark fantasy".
              Maaaany moons ago I was working in educational IT and a group of us were invited to go and trial some new safe guarding software. Quite clever for its day - it would basically monitor all screen activity so it could log and monitor pretty much anything - e-mail, chat, websites, forums even just typing into word docs.

              Anyway, we all gathered in this training room and to kick off and demonstrate some of the baseline filtering and realtime monitoring/reporting the guy asked us all to go to Google and type in something that would turn back kinky results. It was a great moment as we all jumped at the chance at searching for porn at work, dived into Google and then immediately stopped as everybody realised that their search items were A) About to be shown on screen and B) Would say a lot more about them than the software.

              In the end, after a few minutes, there was a stream of not very inventive searches for boring variations of "naked women"

              Comment


                #17
                Originally posted by Paddy View Post
                As I say, one swallow does not make a summer.
                It can in my case
                Last edited by GJABS; 27 November 2019, 23:08.

                Comment


                  #18
                  Originally posted by GJABS View Post
                  This is a link about erotic fiction.

                  On my Grindr profile, one way I am finding I can get more messages, is to say "ask me about my dark fantasy".
                  People are very curious.
                  Trouble is, when I send this work of fiction to them (which I carefully wrote), it makes them laugh instead. Before calling me a sick puppy and blocking me
                  yeah sorry about that
                  Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                  Comment


                    #19
                    Originally posted by Paddy View Post
                    As I say, one swallow does not make a summer.
                    Or, 'One swallow does not make a stunner...'

                    His heart is in the right place - shame we can't say the same about his brain...

                    Comment


                      #20
                      Originally posted by Mordac View Post
                      Or, 'One swallow does not make a stunner...'

                      But it does make a good blowjob.
                      "Being nice costs nothing and sometimes gets you extra bacon" - Pondlife.

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