Bad Sex Awards 2019 Bad Sex Awards 2019
Page 1 of 5 123 ... LastLast
Posts 1 to 10 of 44
  1. #1

    Godlike

    ladymuck is always on top

    ladymuck's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    London
    Posts
    5,674

    Default Bad Sex Awards 2019

    Here's some choice quotes from this year's short list.

    ‘Mouthful by mouthful’: the 2019 Bad sex award in quotes | Books | The Guardian

  2. #2

    Super poster

    quackhandle is NOT a disguised employee

    quackhandle's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    Bag End, The Shire, Middle Earth
    Posts
    2,409

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by ladymuck View Post
    The sentence "My whole being was astonished." would have been so much better just by changing the words 'was' and 'being' around.

    Poor editing.


    qh
    He had a negative bluety on a quackhandle and was quadraspazzed on a lifeglug.

  3. #3

    Double Godlike!

    LondonManc is a fount of knowledge


    Join Date
    Sep 2014
    Location
    Work-life balance nirvana
    Posts
    10,648

    Default

    "She asked me to make her day. Instead, I made her hole weak."
    The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't exist

  4. #4

    I live on CUK

    Old Greg is a fount of knowledge

    Old Greg's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    The Tombliboo Bush
    Posts
    22,824

    Default

    Churchy is writing up his anilingus band camp reminiscences.
    Quote Originally Posted by Bean
    I admit that I'm a lazy lying cretin, but so what?
    25 June 2018

  5. #5

    Godlike

    ladymuck is always on top

    ladymuck's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    London
    Posts
    5,674

    Default

    He kissed her breathlessly. He regretted not attending the CPR refresher training

  6. #6

    Godlike

    ladymuck is always on top

    ladymuck's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    London
    Posts
    5,674

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by quackhandle View Post
    The sentence "My whole being was astonished." would have been so much better just by changing the words 'was' and 'being' around.

    Poor editing.


    qh
    Can't give rep on the mobile app, you made me choke on my old fashioned

  7. #7

    Banned

    mb31 is a permanent contractor


    Join Date
    Nov 2019
    Location
    Rehab
    Posts
    262

    Default

    ladymuck

    When I’m old and wrinkly
    I want you to iron me
    Press your hot and steamy body
    Against mine

  8. #8

    Contractor Among Contractors

    GJABS - scorchio!

    GJABS's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Posts
    1,060

    Default

    This is a link about erotic fiction.

    On my Grindr profile, one way I am finding I can get more messages, is to say "ask me about my dark fantasy".
    People are very curious.
    Trouble is, when I send this work of fiction to them (which I carefully wrote), it makes them laugh instead. Before calling me a sick puppy and blocking me

  9. #9

    Contractor Among Contractors

    GhostofTarbera is NOT a disguised employee

    GhostofTarbera's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2018
    Posts
    1,467

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by GJABS View Post
    This is a link about erotic fiction.

    On my Grindr profile, one way I am finding I can get more messages, is to say "ask me about my dark fantasy".
    People are very curious.
    Trouble is, when I send this work of fiction to them (which I carefully wrote), it makes them laugh instead. Before calling me a sick puppy and blocking me
    As one of your blockers

    Marigolds groves and fisting are something one can not accommodate


    Sent from my iPhone using Contractor UK Forum

  10. #10

    Double Godlike!

    Paddy is a fount of knowledge

    Paddy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Posts
    10,015

    Default

    As I say, one swallow does not make a summer.
    Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •