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Sexual Harassment

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    It's ironic that this thread was supposed to be about sexist behaviour towards women but it's actually the men who are welding handbags and harrassing each other.

    I can't remember which personality disorder seeks high drama (histrionic?) but I sometimes wonder if it's under diagnosed in men. I know a good therapist. PM me if you're willing to take the first step towards recovery.

    At the risk of getting back on topic, I told my therapist I fancied her at group therapy yesterday and my point was that thinking inappropriately and behaving inappropriately are two separate things. I got away with my declaration because she really is fit and I was bold enough to say so without behaving inappropriately... The remark was relevant in the context of the discussion. It did feel a bit wrong though so I apologised at the end of the session. I'm a married man.
    Last edited by mb31; 4 December 2019, 22:18.

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      @admin, where's the 'ignore this thread' option on thread tools?
      really
      mumsnet II
      ffs

      Comment


        BR14 ignoring your problems isn't going to make them go away.

        Comment


          Originally posted by mb31 View Post
          BR14 ignoring your problems isn't going to make them go away.
          Ain't that the truth!

          Comment


            Originally posted by mb31 View Post
            BR14 ignoring your problems isn't going to make them go away.

            but its a start!
            Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

            Comment


              Originally posted by mb31 View Post
              It's ironic that this thread was supposed to be about sexist behaviour towards women but it's actually the men who are welding handbags and harrassing each other.

              I can't remember which personality disorder seeks high drama (histrionic?) but I sometimes wonder if it's under diagnosed in men. I know a good therapist. PM me if you're willing to take the first step towards recovery.

              At the risk of getting back on topic, I told my therapist I fancied her at group therapy yesterday and my point was that thinking inappropriately and behaving inappropriately are two separate things. I got away with my declaration because she really is fit and I was bold enough to say so without behaving inappropriately... The remark was relevant in the context of the discussion. It did feel a bit wrong though so I apologised at the end of the session. I'm a married man.
              You have a fit therapist? That’s a curve ball...

              I think outright telling someone you like them and asking them out is not harassment it’s how our species pro creates. It’s the covert creepy stuff, ogling, patting and ‘locker room banter’ that is the problem.

              I think it’s really important to know the difference and not let the latter discourage the former.



              Sent from my iPhone using Contractor UK Forum
              "Is someone you don't like allowed to say something you don't like? If that is the case then we have free speech."- Elon Musk

              Comment


                Originally posted by mb31 View Post
                Originally posted by BR14 View Post
                @admin, where's the 'ignore this thread' option on thread tools?
                really
                mumsnet II
                ffs
                BR14 ignoring your problems isn't going to make them go away.
                It's nice you admit you're a problem.
                Down with racism. Long live miscegenation!

                Comment


                  Originally posted by Jog On View Post
                  You have a fit therapist? That’s a curve ball...
                  Jog on, my wife is a psychiatric nurse so there may have been a breach of ethics somewhere along the line. As I said earlier, do something crazy and wait for her to hit on you.


                  Originally posted by NotAllThere View Post
                  It's nice you admit you're a problem.
                  Quite the contrary, I'm the solution and your own personal saviour. I'm inviting you to follow me and leave your old ways behind...

                  Comment


                    What a thread...

                    Think the main takeaway is that the consequences of 'normal' flirting and banter have been amped up to insane levels in select cases.

                    Sexual harassment is still bad. But now things that are borderline have become bad, and things that are reasonably harmless provided you don't do them again have become bad.

                    E.g. you ask a coworker out, she says no, normally you'd both be like OK and that'd be it. But these days there's some people that'll march straight to HR and ruin the guy over it.

                    But banter/flirting are normal human behaviour, even between people that aren't romantically interested. Between closer work friends it can escalate to quite depraved levels even though it's harmless fun and no romance is intended.

                    But such a person could flip at any moment and decide actually all of this is too much, head straight for HR, and you're done. Or someone could overhear, go straight to HR, and you're done.

                    There is a lot of risk involved. This risk has some consequences regarding how men treat women.

                    Michael Fallon touching a journalist on the knee

                    A lad made a joke to his mate about dongles at Pycon and someone in the row in front heard and got them fired.

                    Whether or not you believe it's an epidemic or not, guys are being way more careful. Apparently it's having a negative effect on women.

                    Men are afraid to mentor women after #MeToo and it hurts us all: study

                    Comment


                      Originally posted by mb31 View Post
                      Jog on, my wife is a psychiatric nurse so there may have been a breach of ethics somewhere along the line. As I said earlier, do something crazy and wait for her to hit on you.




                      Quite the contrary, I'm the solution and your own personal saviour. I'm inviting you to follow me and leave your old ways behind...
                      I don’t want this one to hit on me or to hit on her, I just find it interesting that she dresses and behaves the way she does. Her need for validation is not helping this problem.

                      She’s not getting it at my expense!

                      Re the other thing, patients falling for their therapists is very common, wouldn’t worry about it.


                      Sent from my iPhone using Contractor UK Forum
                      "Is someone you don't like allowed to say something you don't like? If that is the case then we have free speech."- Elon Musk

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