Santacide Santacide
Page 1 of 6 123 ... LastLast
Posts 1 to 10 of 60

Thread: Santacide

  1. #1

    Banned

    mb31 is a permanent contractor


    Join Date
    Nov 2019
    Location
    Rehab
    Posts
    262

    Default Santacide

    I thought we'd try something different this Christmas to amuse the children. We're going to try to catch Santa

    I've got a claw trap that I can set up by the coffee table next to his mince pie and sherry. After the kids have gone to bed I'm going to leave a black boot and bits of red rag in it. We've got some fake blood left over from Halloween so I can squirt a trail of blood across the kitchen to the back door (we don't have a chimney and the floor is tiled so there's no stain risk).

    My kids are only 4 and 5 so I wonder if I should put this idea on ice until they're a bit older. Any thoughts?

  2. #2

    I Am Legend

    BrilloPad has reached the peak. Play again?


    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Posts
    106,169

    Default

    IMO very bad idea.

    The closest we came was one halloween - twins aged 5 - as my wife was finishing dinner a witch came into the kitchen(kids sat at dining room table). My wife and the witch fought. The witch left with dinner, just leaving eyeball soup(made of peas) and some other stuff including blackberries(blood).
    Fight HMRC now! Help sue HMRC individual officers/government ministers for malfeasance in office. Visit https://www.loanchargejustice.com/ and scroll to the bottom of the page to donate.

  3. #3

    Banned

    mb31 is a permanent contractor


    Join Date
    Nov 2019
    Location
    Rehab
    Posts
    262

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by BrilloPad View Post
    IMO very bad idea.

    The closest we came was one halloween - twins aged 5 - as my wife was finishing dinner a witch came into the kitchen(kids sat at dining room table). My wife and the witch fought. The witch left with dinner, just leaving eyeball soup(made of peas) and some other stuff including blackberries(blood).
    And what was the kids reaction? Who was the witch?

  4. #4

    I live on CUK

    Old Greg is a fount of knowledge

    Old Greg's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    The Tombliboo Bush
    Posts
    22,801

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by mb31 View Post
    I thought we'd try something different this Christmas to amuse the children. We're going to try to catch Santa

    I've got a claw trap that I can set up by the coffee table next to his mince pie and sherry. After the kids have gone to bed I'm going to leave a black boot and bits of red rag in it. We've got some fake blood left over from Halloween so I can squirt a trail of blood across the kitchen to the back door (we don't have a chimney and the floor is tiled so there's no stain risk).

    My kids are only 4 and 5 so I wonder if I should put this idea on ice until they're a bit older. Any thoughts?
    As long as you don't post about it here, go right ahead.
    Quote Originally Posted by Bean
    I admit that I'm a lazy lying cretin, but so what?
    25 June 2018

  5. #5

    More fingers than teeth

    xoggoth is a fount of knowledge

    xoggoth's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    xoggoth towers
    Posts
    13,337

    Default

    Excellent. Halloween is much more fun than xmas. All this happy, peace, love, joy stuff, bah humbug. Still trying to think of an excuse not to go to a family do. I shall probably feign a heart attack.

    Miserable old git.
    bloggoth

    If everything isn't black and white, I say, 'Why the hell not?'
    John Wayne (My guru, not to be confused with my beloved prophet Jeremy Clarkson)

  6. #6

    I Am Legend

    BrilloPad has reached the peak. Play again?


    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Posts
    106,169

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by mb31 View Post
    And what was the kids reaction? Who was the witch?
    Kitchen and dining room were seperate. I filmed from dining room. Kids could not see kitchen. They were bemused while the "fight" took place in the kitchen. They initially refused to touch the food - until I tasted it. They they thought it wasa huge laugh!

    I still have the video and the twins - now nearly 18 - love it. Especially the bit where my wife says "the witch says eat iot or you will be turned into a toad" - which my daughter repeats with huge sincerity!
    Fight HMRC now! Help sue HMRC individual officers/government ministers for malfeasance in office. Visit https://www.loanchargejustice.com/ and scroll to the bottom of the page to donate.

  7. #7

    I Am Legend

    BrilloPad has reached the peak. Play again?


    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Posts
    106,169

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Old Greg View Post
    As long as you don't post about it here, go right ahead.
    Why does it bother you?

    Personally I would rather hear about this sort of topic. ANYTHING is better than sasguru encouraging misery and suffering among those who cant help their circumstances. Maybe if you stopped encouraging him he might stop? Actually, he probably wont......
    Fight HMRC now! Help sue HMRC individual officers/government ministers for malfeasance in office. Visit https://www.loanchargejustice.com/ and scroll to the bottom of the page to donate.

  8. #8

    Better than AtW

    sasguru - scorchio!


    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Posts
    36,272

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by BrilloPad View Post
    IMO very bad idea.

    The closest we came was one halloween - twins aged 5 - as my wife was finishing dinner a witch came into the kitchen(kids sat at dining room table). My wife and the witch fought. The witch left with dinner, just leaving eyeball soup(made of peas) and some other stuff including blackberries(blood).
    Quote Originally Posted by BrilloPad View Post
    Kitchen and dining room were seperate. I filmed from dining room. Kids could not see kitchen. They were bemused while the "fight" took place in the kitchen. They initially refused to touch the food - until I tasted it. They they thought it wasa huge laugh!

    I still have the video and the twins - now nearly 18 - love it. Especially the bit where my wife says "the witch says eat iot or you will be turned into a toad" - which my daughter repeats with huge sincerity!
    Quote Originally Posted by BrilloPad View Post
    Why does it bother you?

    Personally I would rather hear about this sort of topic. ANYTHING is better than sasguru encouraging misery and suffering among those who cant help their circumstances. Maybe if you stopped encouraging him he might stop? Actually, he probably wont......
    The working class is so amusing.
    Hard Brexit now!
    #prayfornodeal

  9. #9

    Respect my authoritah!

    NotAllThere is always on top

    NotAllThere's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    Far away from HMRC
    Posts
    21,788

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by mb31 View Post
    I thought we'd try something different this Christmas to amuse the children. We're going to try to catch Santa

    I've got a claw trap that I can set up by the coffee table next to his mince pie and sherry. After the kids have gone to bed I'm going to leave a black boot and bits of red rag in it. We've got some fake blood left over from Halloween so I can squirt a trail of blood across the kitchen to the back door (we don't have a chimney and the floor is tiled so there's no stain risk).

    My kids are only 4 and 5 so I wonder if I should put this idea on ice until they're a bit older. Any thoughts?
    You have to do this while they're still young and gullible. You could also do a little test - leave a sack with their presents next to the trap. If they've more interest in that than the maiming of Santa, you know you've successfully raised a couple of mercenary bastards.
    Boomers tend to believe in “freedom of speech”, which is a fascist concept used to spread hateful ideas.Given that hate speech is not possible without free speech, any defence of free speech is a form of hate speech. - Titania McGrath

  10. #10

    Banned

    mb31 is a permanent contractor


    Join Date
    Nov 2019
    Location
    Rehab
    Posts
    262

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by NotAllThere View Post
    You have to do this while they're still young and gullible. You could also do a little test - leave a sack with their presents next to the trap. If they've more interest in that than the maiming of Santa, you know you've successfully raised a couple of mercenary bastards.
    lol

    I think I can predict the likely outcome of that test and they've both got a long career in contracting ahead of them.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •