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Thread: Stay Alert

  1. #21

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    GhostofTarbera - scorchio!

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    Quote Originally Posted by darmstadt View Post
    Before the clown gives his pre-recorded speech later, here's a quick recap:
    December 31st China alerts WHO to a new virus.
    January 23rd Study reveals a third of China’s patients require intensive care.
    January 24th Boris Johnson misses first COBR meeting.
    January 29th Boris Johnson misses second COBR meeting.
    January 31st The NHS declares first ever ‘Level 4 critical incident’. Meanwhile, the government declines to join European scheme to source PPE.
    February 5th Boris Johnson misses third COBR meeting.
    February 12th Boris Johnson misses the fourth COBR meeting. Exeter University publishes study warning Coronavirus could infect 45 million people in the UK if left unchallenged.
    February 13th Boris Johnson misses conference call with European leaders.
    February 14th Boris Johnson GOES AWAY on HOLIDAY. Aides are told to keep Johnson’s briefing notes short or he will not read them.
    February 18th Johnson misses the fifth COBR meeting.
    February 26th Boris Johnson announces ‘Herd Immunity’ strategy, announcing some people will lose loved ones. Government document is leaked, predicting half a million Brits could die in ‘worse case scenario’.
    February 29th Boris Johnson retreats to his country manor. NHS warns of ‘PPE shortage nightmare’. Stockpiles have dwindled or expired after years of austerity cuts.
    March 2nd Boris Johnson attends his first Cobra meeting, declining another opportunity to join the European PPE scheme. Government’s own scientists say over half a million Brits could die if the virus left unrestrained. Johnson tells the country “We are very, very well prepared.”
    March 3rd Scientists urge Government to advise the public not to shake hands. Boris Johnson brags about shaking hands of Coronavirus patients.
    March 4th Government stops providing daily updates on virus following a 70% spike in UK cases. They will later U-turn on this amid accusations they are withholding vital information.
    March 5th Boris Johnson tells the public to ‘wash their hands and business as usual’.
    March 7th Boris Johnson joins 82,000 people at Six Nations match.
    March 9th After Ireland cancels St Patrick’s day parades, the government says there’s “No Rationale” for canceling sporting events.
    March 10th - 13th Cheltenham takes place, more than a quarter of a million people attend.
    March 11th 3,000 Atletico Madrid fans fly to Liverpool.
    March 12th Boris Johnson states banning events such as Cheltenham will have little effect. The Imperial College study finds the government’s plan is projected to kill half a million people.
    March 13th The FA suspends the Premier League, citing an absence of Government guidance. Britain is invited to join a European scheme for the joint purchase of ventilators and refuses. Boris Johnson lifts restrictions of those arriving from Coronavirus hot spots.
    March 14th Government is still allowing mass gatherings, as Stereophonics play to 5,000 people in Cardiff.
    March 16th Boris Johnson asks Britons not to go to pubs but allows them to stay open. During a conference call, Johnson jokes that push to build new ventilators should be called ‘Operation Last Gasp’.
    March 19th Hospital patients with Coronavirus are returned to care homes in a bid to free up hospital space. What follows is a boom of virus cases in care homes.
    March 20th The Government states that PPE shortage crisis is “Completely resolved”. Less than two weeks later, the British Medical Association reports an acute shortage in PPE.
    March 23rd UK goes into lockdown.
    March 26th Boris Johnson is accused of putting ‘Brexit over Breathing’ by not joining EU ventilator scheme. The government then states they had not joined the scheme because they had ‘missed the email’.
    April 1st The Evening Standard publishes that just 0.17% of NHS staff have been tested for the virus.
    April 3rd The UK death toll overtakes China.
    April 5th 17.5 million Antibody tests, ordered by the government and described by Boris Johnson as a ‘game-changer’ are found to be a failure.
    April 7th Boris Johnson is moved to intensive care with Coronavirus.
    April 16th Flights bring 15,000 people a day into the UK - without virus testing.
    April 17th Health Secretary Matt Hancock says “I would love to be able to wave a magic wand and have PPE fall from the sky.” The UK has now missed four opportunities to join the EU’s PPE scheme.
    April 21st The Government fails to reach its target of face masks for the NHS, as it is revealed manufacturers' offers of help were met with silence. Instead, millions of pieces of PPE are being shipped from the UK to Europe.
    April 23rd - 24th Government announces testing kits for 10 million key workers. Orders run out within minutes as only 5,000 are made available.
    April 25th UK death toll from Coronavirus overtakes that of The Blitz.
    April 30th Boris Johnson announces the UK has succeeded in avoiding a tragedy that had engulfed other parts of the world. At this point, The UK has the 3rd highest death toll in the world.
    May 1st The Government announces it has reached its target of 100,000 tests. They haven’t conducted the tests but posted the testing kits.
    May 5th The UK death toll becomes the highest in Europe.
    May 6th Boris Johnson announces the UK could start to lift lockdown restrictions by next week.

    Cheltenham was fab this year - thank you Boris


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  2. #22

    Richer than sasguru

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  3. #23

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    tazdevil has more data than eek

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    I see the dickheads are out in force on this thread

  4. #24

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    Quote Originally Posted by tazdevil View Post
    I see the dickheads are out in force on this thread
    Because they are talking down the country and the organisations that had some much care for them in the past?

    Are you one of those happy go lucky that thinks he is a great businessman just because he inherited a land that appreciated 50% in 3 years?
    Do you believe NHS is at the forefront of the medical sector and you occasionally give it a nice clap?
    Are you a contractor that has been part of the big push around left with no rights, more taxes and as of recent months no prospects of finding a role?

  5. #25

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    Quote Originally Posted by GigiBronz View Post
    Are you a contractor that has been part of the big push around left with no rights, more taxes and as of recent months no prospects of finding a role?
    TCS etc don't require english as a first language.
    hth
    Entropy is NOT what it used to be.
    Inertia, however........................

  6. #26

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    darmstadt is a fount of knowledge

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    Brexit is having a wee in the middle of the room at a house party because nobody is talking to you, and then complaining about the smell.

  7. #27

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    Quote Originally Posted by BR14 View Post
    TCS etc don't require english as a first language.
    hth
    I know you did not mean that but I think your point makes my argument stronger.

  8. #28

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    Quote Originally Posted by GigiBronz View Post
    I know you did not mean that but I think your point makes my argument stronger.
    i did.
    it doesn't.
    think what you like.
    Entropy is NOT what it used to be.
    Inertia, however........................

  9. #29

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    CheeseSlice 's job has never been outsourced

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    Quote Originally Posted by AtW View Post
    Blue Alert time
    I think you can be more alert than that

    Try Red Alert.


  10. #30

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    elsergiovolador is a permanent contractor


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    Quote Originally Posted by CheeseSlice View Post
    I said 'stay alert', not panic!

    Don't worry, Rishi has been very alert during this matter and also has plenty of ink
    Do you mean Infosys will print our money?

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