Friday Poetry Corner reloaded

[OwlHoot]

Seems ages since we had a regular update on Friday Poetry Corner, so here goes

Hull Hath No Fury Like A Poet Scorned

I refuse to enter
the East Yorkshire Arts Centre
after someone who works there
said my poems were tulip.

Not for all the tea in China
would I degrade myself and enter
the East Yorkshire Arts centre
after someone who works there
said I was semi-illiterate.

No. I will never ever enter
the East Yorkshire Arts centre
after someone who works there
said I was many things but not a poet.

I know she's not been well
since her husband ran off with a slag
but taking it out on me
and my wonderful poetry
won't make me give him back.

Dean Wilson

[Scruff]

What would Antony Gormley have to say about that?

Ego amo veneris poetica

[Mordac]

There once was a lady called Hilda
Who went on a date with a builder
He put down his bricks
and jumped in her knicks
And in doing so damn nearly killed 'er

[LondonManc]

There was an art show in York
Into which a slag did walk
The woman was chubby
So the slag stole her hubby
Cos he needed to learn how to pork.

[Gibbon]

accingunt omnes operi pedibusque rotarum
subiciunt lapsus, et stuppea vincula collo
intendunt; scandit fatalis machina muros
feta armis. pueri circum innuptaeque puellae
sacra canunt funemque manu contingere gaudent;

[BlueSharp]

There was a young sailor from Brighton,
Who said to his girl, "You're a tight one."
She replied, "Bless my soul,
You're in the wrong hole;
There's plenty of room in the right one."

[OwlHoot]

accingunt omnes operi pedibusque rotarum
subiciunt lapsus, et stuppea vincula collo
intendunt; scandit fatalis machina muros
feta armis. pueri circum innuptaeque puellae
sacra canunt funemque manu contingere gaudent;

If that's supposed to be a limerick, it could do with a couple of shorter lines. How does this sound?

accingunt omnes operi pedibusque rotarum
subiciunt lapsus, et stuppea vincula collo
intendunt; scandit
feta armis. pueri
sacra canunt funemque manu contingere gaudent;

[ladymuck]

A combustible woman from Thang
Exploded one day with a BANG!
The maid then rushed in
And said with a grin,
'Pardon me, madam - you rang?'

- Spike Milligan