• Visitors can check out the Forum FAQ by clicking this link. You have to register before you can post: click the REGISTER link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. View our Forum Privacy Policy.
  • Free webinar: Effective stress control for contractors : Mon Mar 22 7:15 PM More details here.

Boom ... but very early days

Collapse
X
  •  
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    #61
    Originally posted by Whorty View Post
    No.
    Then that makes marriage much easier for a man. You dodged a bullet there.

    Though I have often wondered if a gay couple have a child and go to court how does the judge decide which one to hate?

    Comment


      #62
      Originally posted by BrilloPad View Post
      Then that makes marriage much easier for a man. You dodged a bullet there.

      Though I have often wondered if a gay couple have a child and go to court how does the judge decide which one to hate?
      No bullet dodging, I had that conversation with Mrs W (and previous girlfriends) early on. I never wanted kids and would not have married someone who did - a combination for a failed relationship.

      Mrs W was exactly the same - even before she was diagnosed with her illness she never wanted kids, her illness confirmed it was never going to be a good idea. Both of us wanting (or in this instance not wanting) the same thing worked perfectly.

      What surprises me is going into a marriage knowing that one person wants kids and one doesn't. I have a mate like that, his wife is a breeder, they ended up with 3 kids. He's not happy. Funny thing is, they were in the same group of friends that Mrs W and i mixed with before we were all coupled up and the breeder did want to go out with me but I knew even though she was attractive looking, we were not compatible.

      For me marriage was really until death us do part so i wanted to make sure it was right for me and a future Mrs W.
      I am what I drink, and I'm a bitter man

      Comment


        #63
        Originally posted by Whorty View Post
        No bullet dodging, I had that conversation with Mrs W (and previous girlfriends) early on. I never wanted kids and would not have married someone who did - a combination for a failed relationship.

        Mrs W was exactly the same - even before she was diagnosed with her illness she never wanted kids, her illness confirmed it was never going to be a good idea. Both of us wanting (or in this instance not wanting) the same thing worked perfectly.

        What surprises me is going into a marriage knowing that one person wants kids and one doesn't. I have a mate like that, his wife is a breeder, they ended up with 3 kids. He's not happy. Funny thing is, they were in the same group of friends that Mrs W and i mixed with before we were all coupled up and the breeder did want to go out with me but I knew even though she was attractive looking, we were not compatible.

        For me marriage was really until death us do part so i wanted to make sure it was right for me and a future Mrs W.
        Completely agree there - mixing wants and don't wants when it comes to kids is a disaster. It's ok for both to be unsure but there's a risk there that one will turn into a want and the other will turn into a don't want. That's bridge you have to cross when you come to it. It's far easier when you know your position.

        I'm generally a 'never say never' person but kids have always been on my 'never' list once it dawned on me that they didn't have to be an inevitable part of a woman's future.

        Comment


          #64
          Originally posted by Whorty View Post
          No bullet dodging, I had that conversation with Mrs W (and previous girlfriends) early on. I never wanted kids and would not have married someone who did - a combination for a failed relationship.

          Mrs W was exactly the same - even before she was diagnosed with her illness she never wanted kids, her illness confirmed it was never going to be a good idea. Both of us wanting (or in this instance not wanting) the same thing worked perfectly.

          What surprises me is going into a marriage knowing that one person wants kids and one doesn't. I have a mate like that, his wife is a breeder, they ended up with 3 kids. He's not happy. Funny thing is, they were in the same group of friends that Mrs W and i mixed with before we were all coupled up and the breeder did want to go out with me but I knew even though she was attractive looking, we were not compatible.

          For me marriage was really until death us do part so i wanted to make sure it was right for me and a future Mrs W.
          Why any man would want children when they have no right to see them and an obligation to pay for them.

          Take the sexism women get in the workplace and multiply by 100.....

          Comment


            #65
            Originally posted by BrilloPad View Post
            Why any man would want children when they have no right to see them and an obligation to pay for them.

            Take the sexism women get in the workplace and multiply by 100.....
            So find a woman who also doesn't want kids - job done.
            I am what I drink, and I'm a bitter man

            Comment


              #66
              Originally posted by ladymuck View Post
              Completely agree there - mixing wants and don't wants when it comes to kids is a disaster. It's ok for both to be unsure but there's a risk there that one will turn into a want and the other will turn into a don't want. That's bridge you have to cross when you come to it. It's far easier when you know your position.

              I'm generally a 'never say never' person but kids have always been on my 'never' list once it dawned on me that they didn't have to be an inevitable part of a woman's future.
              Mrs W never saw them in her future and she had a full and happy life (if not too short). She had an amazing career, lots of great experiences, we traveled everywhere; friends would say how lucky we were to see so much of the world, her response to them was always it wasn't luck, we just chose not to have kids whilst they did. Luck never came into it. Whilst they were buying nappies, she was buying Jimmy Choos
              I am what I drink, and I'm a bitter man

              Comment


                #67
                Originally posted by Whorty View Post
                So find a woman who also doesn't want kids - job done.

                I think this decision is after the divorce experience, when we were young and idealistic we thought the family & divorce courts actually worked. Having now seen women who shouldn't be allowed kids getting full custody and men who beat their wives being paid maintenance I am not a big fan.

                However as mentioned discussing whether you as a couple want kids before marriage / conception is vital and not discussing it is a dreadful mistake.

                Mrs V did throw me one curve we originally planned 2 kids but a friend lost a child leaving their sibling alone and Mrs V realised that its possible it could happen to our kids. We discussed it and now have Miss V3 who is a joy.
                "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                Comment

                Working...
                X