There we are, tape a boiled egg to your bum

[xoggoth]

Learn from nature

http://www.newscientist.com/article/...h-fake-it.html

The gene was found in the cichlid fish, where the males have evolved a way to lure females close so that they can squirt sperm into their mouths.

But males of certain cichlid species in east Africa have evolved a way to increase the odds that females take up their sperm. Oval yellow markings resembling the eggs are found on the anal or pelvic fins. When a female approaches the male, she thinks she sees an egg on its fin, so tries to vacuum it up in her mouth – and get a mouthful of sperm from the canny male in the process.

[DimPrawn]

I'll give it a go. Thanks.

[oracleslave]

Not sure my missus is that keen to volunteer so let me know how it goes Dim.

[Troll]

I've used the "in your mouth" approach for quite a few years... can't say it helped with procreation

[BrilloPad]

I've been using the boiled egg taped to my bum trick for years - now you ruin it by telling everyone.

[EternalOptimist]

I've been using the boiled egg taped to my bum trick for years - now you ruin it by telling everyone.

Me too, except I use a bunch of grapes.

[BoredBloke]

"The gene was found in the cichlid fish, where the males have evolved a way to lure females close so that they can squirt sperm into their mouths. "

I can do that but my wife goes mad as it tends to wake her up.