The ZeitGhost spidey sense does it again... The ZeitGhost spidey sense does it again...
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  1. #1

    More fingers than teeth

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    Default The ZeitGhost spidey sense does it again...

    http://forums.contractoruk.com/576911-post113270.html

    So what happens?

    Roughly around the time I was typing that, I was unware that a river of raw sewage was making its merry way down my parents' garden path, across my garden and into my next door neighbour's garden....

    So that's about 50 yards of contaminated garden path, a plot of potatos well fertilised... and an enormous pool of nastiness in next door's lawn.

    Ho hum.


    Feck me, we had a tremendous crop of spuds that year.

    Really fertile all that tulipe.
    Last edited by zeitghost; 17th March 2017 at 11:06.

  2. #2

    The beerded one

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    spooky

    top tip - dont eat the potatoes


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  3. #3

    Contractor Among Contractors

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    Why is there a river of sewage in your garden?

  4. #4

    Super Tramp

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    Quote Originally Posted by zeitghost View Post
    http://forums.contractoruk.com/576911-post113270.html

    So what happens?

    Roughly around the time I was typing that, I was unware that a river of raw sewage was making its merry way down my parents' garden path, across my garden and into my next door neighbour's garden....

    So that's about 50 yards of contaminated garden path, a plot of potatos well fertilised... and an enormous pools of nastiness in next door's lawn.

    Ho hum.
    If Lidl's do a special on self-enema kits, cardiac arrest machines or burial plots - leave them there!
    My all-time favourite Dilbert cartoon, this is: BTW, a Dumpster is a brand of skip, I think.

  5. #5

    The beerded one

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    Quote Originally Posted by stackpole View Post
    Why is there a river of sewage in your garden?
    They often get blocked by disposable nappies etc. Happend to a colleagues mum recently
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  6. #6

    I Am Legend

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    Apparently triple velvet is one of the worst - like putting a sleeping bag down a toilet!

    Ladies personal products and baby wipes are also to be avoided.

    Any chance of damage to drains from trees or suchlike?

    Anyway - poor Zeity

  7. #7

    More fingers than teeth

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    Great! Can you give me some tips on how to submerge MR PIKEY SCUM's house and garden in sewage?
    bloggoth

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  8. #8

    Lord of Ruin

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    Quote Originally Posted by xoggoth View Post
    Great! Can you give me some tips on how to submerge MR PIKEY SCUM's house and garden in sewage?
    1. Find manhole cover
    2. lift manhole cover
    3. trace sewerage outlet from pikeys place
    4. insert tube extended nozzle of previously purchased expanding foam
    5. empty can
    6. replace manhole cover
    7. wait approx 2 days unless raining heavily
    8. laugh ones t1ts off


    Disclaimer:
    I never told you to do this or suggested that you use this information in a malicious or self gratifying manner
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  9. #9

    Nice But Dim

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    Quote Originally Posted by xoggoth View Post
    Great! Can you give me some tips on how to submerge MR PIKEY SCUM's house and garden in sewage?
    Another good one is to find the stopcock on the street that feeds their house, turn it off and fill the access hole with the aformentioned expanding foam.

    Opposite effect that the one you were after but may well leave their toilet rather more fragrant than they were barganning for
    "Being nice costs nothing and sometimes gets you extra bacon" - Pondlife.

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