Friday jokes corner Friday jokes corner
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Posts 1 to 10 of 17
  1. #1

    Jedi Like

    gingerjedi is too good to be a permie

    gingerjedi's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Contractwr
    Posts
    9,604

    Default Friday jokes corner

    A Glaswegian lad takes his girlfriend home for the first time.

    He says "This is Amanda".

    His dad jumps up "It's a feckin' what?"
    Science isn't about why, it's about why not. You ask: why is so much of our science dangerous? I say: why not marry safe science if you love it so much. In fact, why not invent a special safety door that won't hit you in the butt on the way out, because you are fired. - Cave Johnson

  2. #2

    Contractor Among Contractors

    Arturo Bassick has no reputation

    Arturo Bassick's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Location
    Germany
    Posts
    1,306

    Default

    This joke was told to me by a good friend some time ago.

    A Scotsman walks into a cake shop.
    The assistance says "Will you be having an eclair or a meringue"
    He says "you're nay wrang love, I'll have an eclair"
    Just saying like.

    where there's chaos, there's cash !

    I could agree with you, but then we would both be wrong!

    Lowering the tone since 1963

  3. #3

    My post count is Majestic

    northernladuk has reached the peak. Play again?

    northernladuk's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Posts
    43,720

    Default

    Jokes playing on an accent written down = fail

    either that or I lose the comedy timing becuase I have to read them over so many times to get the accent right before I can understand it.

    'CUK forum personality of 2011 - Winner - Yes really!!!!

  4. #4

    King of updation

    TestMangler - scorchio!

    TestMangler's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    Ardbeg, Isle Of Bute, Jock Land.
    Posts
    7,045

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Arturo Bassick View Post
    This joke was told to me by a good friend some time ago.

    A Scotsman walks into a cake shop.
    The assistance says "Will you be having an eclair or a meringue"
    He says "you're nay wrang love, I'll have an eclair"

    When written, for people who don't speak jock, that will never work

    Anyone who wants it explained, pm me

    PS - It's actually a pretty good gag !!
    On Desolation Boulevard, they'd light the faded lights.....

  5. #5

    Contractor Among Contractors

    Arturo Bassick has no reputation

    Arturo Bassick's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Location
    Germany
    Posts
    1,306

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by TestMangler View Post
    When written, for people who don't speak jock, that will never work

    Anyone who wants it explained, pm me

    PS - It's actually a pretty good gag !!
    That is entirely why I like to see it written down. I love vocal jokes int he written form.
    Just saying like.

    where there's chaos, there's cash !

    I could agree with you, but then we would both be wrong!

    Lowering the tone since 1963

  6. #6

    King of updation

    TestMangler - scorchio!

    TestMangler's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    Ardbeg, Isle Of Bute, Jock Land.
    Posts
    7,045

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Arturo Bassick View Post
    That is entirely why I like to see it written down. I love vocal jokes int he written form.
    GJs one is not bad also, but needs a 'real' glasgow accent
    On Desolation Boulevard, they'd light the faded lights.....

  7. #7

    Jedi Like

    gingerjedi is too good to be a permie

    gingerjedi's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Contractwr
    Posts
    9,604

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Arturo Bassick View Post
    That is entirely why I like to see it written down. I love vocal jokes int he written form.
    Me too, surely it helps to read it from a outsiders perspective?

    If Frankie Boyle told my first joke to a Glaswegian ordinance they probably wouldn't get it.
    Science isn't about why, it's about why not. You ask: why is so much of our science dangerous? I say: why not marry safe science if you love it so much. In fact, why not invent a special safety door that won't hit you in the butt on the way out, because you are fired. - Cave Johnson

  8. #8

    Contractor Among Contractors

    Arturo Bassick has no reputation

    Arturo Bassick's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Location
    Germany
    Posts
    1,306

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by TestMangler View Post
    GJs one is not bad also, but needs a 'real' glasgow accent
    I got it.

    Noddy Holder shopping for clothes in the 70s

    shopkeeper: Would sir like the 17 or 20 inch flares?
    Noddy: 20
    shopkeeper: Floral or paisley shirt
    Noddy: Floral
    shopkeeper: Wide or round collar
    Noddy Wide
    shopkeeper: Kipper tie
    Noddy: 2 sugars.
    Just saying like.

    where there's chaos, there's cash !

    I could agree with you, but then we would both be wrong!

    Lowering the tone since 1963

  9. #9

    Super poster

    wobbegong is too good to be a permie

    wobbegong's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Posts
    4,452

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Arturo Bassick View Post
    I got it.

    Noddy Holder shopping for clothes in the 70s

    shopkeeper: Would sir like the 17 or 20 inch flares?
    Noddy: 20
    shopkeeper: Floral or paisley shirt
    Noddy: Floral
    shopkeeper: Wide or round collar
    Noddy Wide
    shopkeeper: Kipper tie
    Noddy: 2 sugars.

  10. #10

    More fingers than teeth

    TimberWolf is too good to be a permie

    TimberWolf's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Posts
    17,505

    Default

    I saw a good joke the other day, but I would get an infraction or ban for repeating it.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •