going private . . .

[sal626]

A lot depends on where you live, and the calibre of state schools in that area.
Where I live now, in the state schools you will get pupils who, lets say…are not academically inclined (future Big brother candidates). So I have put my kids in private. But the plan is to move to an area where they have grammer schools and hope the kids do well on 11+. Plan B is to emigrate….

[oracleslave]

My nearly 5 year old started at a private school this year. Basic costs are 12k a year without "extras".

I'm permie so not sure why you whinging about a measly 6k

[filthy1980]

Check the rankings of the local faith and religious schools. These can often outperfom the local grammar depending on regions. Depending on the outcome get them baptised, circumsized, indoctinated, brainwashed or whatever the entry requirements are and get them in there.

Seriously though, I am making a general comment and not making assumptions of the OP's parenting but reading books with them or sitting down with your kids to do their homework will stand him better stead for good results than throwing in to a grammar without this IMO.. Cue huge argument but that is what I think.

agreed

main thinking was the best time to get them is when they are young, kids developed greatest in the first 5-6 years both physically and mentally

i'd home school if i could but need to pay the bills so its' not an option

grown up decisions eh!!!

[Platypus]

In Summary, I did, I wouldn't again.

Once they're in the system it's very difficulty to move them out again, away from their friends and into an environment where they'll be treated as lepers, snobs, rich bastards and so on. So the later you begin spending on private education, the better, because IME there is no going back.

Now to the education. A bright, well motivated and parentally well supported child will do just as well in a good state comp as they will in a private school. In fact my local comp regularly turns out students who achieve 3 A's at A-Level. Of course, the private school does that too, and as a percentage generates many more students who achieve that. But it costs a lot of money to achieve that (min. 7 years at £10k p.a.). Of course it's not just about results. They will get more opportunities at a private school with a wider variety of sports and activities that a state school has neither time nor money to accommodate.

The social aspect. My kids would have been better off at the local school with local friends within walking distance, rather than at a school 15 miles away where the pupils come from a wide area. My (now late teens) kids are a little lost in their own home town because they don't know anyone.

The cost. Your daughter is two I think you said. You have to consider what if the marriage goes wrong, you'll have a daughter at an expensive school that neither of you can afford to pay for (I'm assuming you'll end up much worse off after a divorce, this is my experience and that of many others I know). Of course, you won't want to traumatise your kid any more so you'll do your best to keep her at the school she knows. This will kill you financially and may even then result in you having to change her school eventually anyway, back to the local comp. I advise this: if you can save now and pay for the education from savings later on, then go for it. But if you'll be relying on your continuing income to pay for it, you can't afford private education, so don't do it. Think of it like Capex vs. Opex.

I think it was Churchy who said something like, why not keep her in state education now, start saving, and think again when she's approaching 11 years of age. I think that's very good advice indeed.

You'll have to be able to defend your position from your missus who's clearly keen on the private option. Good luck with that. But believe me, it's worth it.

If your local state schools are that bad, just move house.

[filthy1980]

cheers for the summary, much appreciated

[Troll]

The social aspect. My kids would have been better off at the local school with local friends within walking distance, rather than at a school 15 miles away where the pupils come from a wide area. My (now late teens) kids are a little lost in their own home town because they don't know anyone.

But the contact circle they make and will keep after school will be more valuable than the local youths

Doors open due to contacts

[lukemg]

WPLATYSAID.
Have to agree completely, normal primary in any decent area will be fine and taking an interest and reading with them etc will make all the difference, with some monitoring of progress along the way to identify any gaps.
For me, it gets a lot more difficult at 11, they are more independant and will be influenced by peers and not you. A good school gets you kids with a different attitude to the world as much as an education.
Eldest just been through this due to living in area with dire local schooling. Chucked a tutor at it for a month and he has got into the entrance exam determined best school in the city. Massive relief but some concerns over travelling and local mates etc.
IF the local school had been half decent I would have had no qualms letting him go, it's all streamed etc anyway. Had a look at private options but the numbers were not doable.

[Platypus]

But the contact circle they make and will keep after school will be more valuable than the local youths

Doors open due to contacts

No. Contact circle from Uni maybe, but not school. I speak from experience.

[Durbs]

I went to private school and, whilst I didn't thank my parents for it at the time (all my friends went off to the local comp), looking back, it was worthwhile.

Think i'll be sending mine that way when the time comes.

[snaw]

WHS. Anyone been watching Wanted Down Under on TV?

Great watching knackered overworked overtaxed Brits see they can earn double in Aus working half the hours and after they compare every single living cost be several thousand pounds better off per month and have better schooling and better healthcare too.

Getting out of the UK is really the most sensible option for the majority of hard working and educated people here.

I'm not gonna argue with the getting out of britain part, but the Aussie part - umm, been there done that, know a few that still are and it's not quite that paved with gold - depends where you end up of course, but tax is high and it's feckin expensive to live in any of the cities I'd personally want to spend any time in.

I'll probably end up back there again (Missus, friends & family ties), but it wouldn't be under the illusion that I'd be getting paid more for less work.