Escorted off the premises

[palatino winotype]

I've been staying at the Days Inn at Fleet Services this week for want of anywhere better to stay while attending a plastering course in a nearby village.

Hotel has no restaurant so all refreshments are taken in the adjoining services.

Since there's not much to do, I've been spending every evening over there. I have me dinner in Maccy Dees or the Wild Bean Cafe (the carbonara fresh out the microwave is awesome!) before heading over to thumb through any new publications that have appeared on the shelves of WH Smiths over the course of the day.

Then I round the evening off in the amusements section where I have a blast on the fruitees for an hour or so before going to bed.

Well, last night saw me accosted by a security guard and ushered off the premises when I went for my evening crackshot session. Apparently some ungrateful cow from the night before had got the hump when I went up to her and asked if she'd like me to show her some "special features".

FFS, some people!

I don't go through life doing things for people just so I can end up with me cacks round me ankles

[EternalOptimist]

I've been staying at the Days Inn at Fleet Services this week for want of anywhere better to stay while attending a plastering course in a nearby village.

Hotel has no restaurant so all refreshments are taken in the adjoining services.

Since there's not much to do, I've been spending every evening over there. I have me dinner in Maccy Dees or the Wild Bean Cafe (the carbonara fresh out the microwave is awesome!) before heading over to thumb through any new publications that have appeared on the shelves of WH Smiths over the course of the day.

Then I round the evening off in the amusements section where I have a blast on the fruitees for an hour or so before going to bed.

Well, last night saw me accosted by a security guard and ushered off the premises when I went for my evening crackshot session. Apparently some ungrateful cow from the night before had got the hump when I went up to her and asked if she'd like me to show her some "special features".

FFS, some people!

I don't go through life doing things for people just so I can end up with me cacks round me ankles

why not pop over to jersey to see if you can get your bum molested by a senior british politician dressed up in an alien space suit?

[BA to the Stars]

This has the maings of a Malcolm Buggeridge thread without the quaint pub

[SimonMac]

Escorted off the premises

This has the maings of a Malcolm Buggeridge thread but tulipter

FTFY

[Spacecadet]

This has the maings of a Malcolm Buggeridge thread without the quaint pub

WTF are maings?

[mudskipper]

Urban Dictionary: maing

Maing = man, ergo maings = men

[mudskipper]

5.3. someone who mispelt "making"

BA to the Stars is a Maing.

[KentPhilip]

Haha
Can't you go across the footbridge and do the same thing in the services on the other side of the motorway?

[palatino winotype]

Haha
Can't you go across the footbridge and do the same thing in the services on the other side of the motorway?

Yes, I do cross the carriageway to do "my thing" from time to time

[escapeUK]

I always thought that kecks was spelt with a K.

Yes it is.

Urban Dictionary: kecks

In Scotland and the North of England, Kecks means a guy's underpants.