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The worst contractor you have ever worked with or heard about

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    #71
    Originally posted by northernladuk View Post
    Sounds like you that does.


    I'm not a Geordie
    When freedom comes along, don't PISH in the water supply.....

    Comment


      #72
      Originally posted by TestMangler View Post


      I'm not a Geordie
      Insert 'swears a lot in an accent only his mother can understand' and its you.
      'CUK forum personality of 2011 - Winner - Yes really!!!!

      Comment


        #73
        Whoever had previously sat in the seat I was given. It was disgusting! Swapped it as soon as I got the chance.
        bloggoth

        If everything isn't black and white, I say, 'Why the hell not?'
        John Wayne (My guru, not to be confused with my beloved prophet Jeremy Clarkson)

        Comment


          #74
          Not entirely relevant, but will probably confirm to the panel their deep dislike of me.

          When I was a permie manager many years ago, through nefarious routes, I found out about a contractor my team lead (we'll call him Tim) hired. A Scot of Indian ethnicity. We'll call him Jim for short.

          For the first two weeks, all was well. Then he started coming in late. So Tim had a quiet word and Jim seemed to get himself together and was usually in the office within 10 minutes of 9. Then Jim's work started deteriorating. Stupid mistakes slipping through. During the 4th week, during a team meeting a half-bottle of whisky fell out of Jim's pocket... and that was the end of Jim.

          Or so Tim thought...

          A couple of years later, I got a call from Jim's agent, cheeky smegger, asking me if I'd put Jim on our Barcelona project- being run by Tim. I politely declined.

          But that gave me an opportunity with Tim that I couldn't resist.

          I told him I'd recruited this great contractor Jim who was all he neded for this project. I lauded him to the heavens, I told Tim that I'd managed to ensure that Jim would join the project for the following day, and that he would pick Jim up from the airport.

          There was a short pause.

          Than Tim confessed all.

          I laughed and laughed and laughed.

          In my defence, m'lud, in between this project, was the time of the Office and Tim could do a wonderful Dave Brent. In Paris during the project management meetings, he'd start doing Dave Brent entirely to get me to crack up, the little tulip. I didn't get him back very often, but this was sooooo satisfying.

          Tim is now a CIO at a multinat. And one of the best people I've ever worked with.

          I'm still an 'umble contractor. Ever so 'umble sir.
          Down with racism. Long live miscegenation!

          Comment


            #75
            Originally posted by NotAllThere View Post
            Not entirely relevant, but will probably confirm to the panel their deep dislike of me.

            When I was a permie manager many years ago, through nefarious routes, I found out about a contractor my team lead (we'll call him Tim) hired. A Scot of Indian ethnicity. We'll call him Jim for short.

            For the first two weeks, all was well. Then he started coming in late. So Tim had a quiet word and Jim seemed to get himself together and was usually in the office within 10 minutes of 9. Then Jim's work started deteriorating. Stupid mistakes slipping through. During the 4th week, during a team meeting a half-bottle of whisky fell out of Jim's pocket... and that was the end of Jim.

            Or so Tim thought...

            A couple of years later, I got a call from Jim's agent, cheeky smegger, asking me if I'd put Jim on our Barcelona project- being run by Tim. I politely declined.

            But that gave me an opportunity with Tim that I couldn't resist.

            I told him I'd recruited this great contractor Jim who was all he neded for this project. I lauded him to the heavens, I told Tim that I'd managed to ensure that Jim would join the project for the following day, and that he would pick Jim up from the airport.

            There was a short pause.

            Than Tim confessed all.

            I laughed and laughed and laughed.

            In my defence, m'lud, in between this project, was the time of the Office and Tim could do a wonderful Dave Brent. In Paris during the project management meetings, he'd start doing Dave Brent entirely to get me to crack up, the little tulip. I didn't get him back very often, but this was sooooo satisfying.

            Tim is now a CIO at a multinat. And one of the best people I've ever worked with.

            I'm still an 'umble contractor. Ever so 'umble sir.
            Don’t forget you are also a tulipe moderator.

            Comment


              #76
              Originally posted by NotAllThere View Post

              I told him I'd recruited this great contractor Jim who was all he neded for this project. I lauded him to the heavens, I told Tim that I'd managed to ensure that Jim would join the project for the following day, and that he would pick Jim up from the airport.

              There was a short pause.

              Than Tim confessed all.

              I laughed and laughed and laughed.
              So fearing Jim coming back and becoming your buddy, Tim confessed his undying love for you?
              Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

              Comment


                #77
                Originally posted by northernladuk View Post
                Insert 'swears a lot in an accent only his mother can understand' and its you.
                I never bought my Mrs pots and pans for xmas either.

                It was a matching mop and bucket.....
                When freedom comes along, don't PISH in the water supply.....

                Comment


                  #78
                  Originally posted by TestMangler View Post
                  I never bought my Mrs pots and pans for xmas either.

                  It was a matching mop and bucket.....
                  Bugger! - you can get matching ones?

                  Comment


                    #79
                    Originally posted by NotAllThere View Post
                    Not entirely relevant, but will probably confirm to the panel their deep dislike of me.

                    When I was a permie manager many years ago, through nefarious routes, I found out about a contractor my team lead (we'll call him Tim) hired. A Scot of Indian ethnicity. We'll call him Jim for short.

                    For the first two weeks, all was well. Then he started coming in late. So Tim had a quiet word and Jim seemed to get himself together and was usually in the office within 10 minutes of 9. Then Jim's work started deteriorating. Stupid mistakes slipping through. During the 4th week, during a team meeting a half-bottle of whisky fell out of Jim's pocket... and that was the end of Jim.

                    Or so Tim thought...

                    A couple of years later, I got a call from Jim's agent, cheeky smegger, asking me if I'd put Jim on our Barcelona project- being run by Tim. I politely declined.

                    But that gave me an opportunity with Tim that I couldn't resist.

                    I told him I'd recruited this great contractor Jim who was all he neded for this project. I lauded him to the heavens, I told Tim that I'd managed to ensure that Jim would join the project for the following day, and that he would pick Jim up from the airport.

                    There was a short pause.

                    Than Tim confessed all.

                    I laughed and laughed and laughed.

                    In my defence, m'lud, in between this project, was the time of the Office and Tim could do a wonderful Dave Brent. In Paris during the project management meetings, he'd start doing Dave Brent entirely to get me to crack up, the little tulip. I didn't get him back very often, but this was sooooo satisfying.

                    Tim is now a CIO at a multinat. And one of the best people I've ever worked with.

                    I'm still an 'umble contractor. Ever so 'umble sir.
                    Next time you tell this story, can I suggest you make the names a bit more different than Tim and Jim?

                    Half way through I was starting to get confused over which "im" was which!
                    Work in the public sector? Read the IR35 FAQ here

                    Comment


                      #80
                      Disclaimer: I don't do work in IT networks this was partially relayed to me on the day what had fully occurred.

                      There was a desk telephony rollout for a company I was doing work at, one contractor who shall not be named wondered what would happened if he put 2 cat5e cables into the desk phone then patch them into 2 adjoining floor network ports.

                      Walked in the next morning only to find the entire section the clod did this in have the network crash repeatedly, I was not a happy bunny.

                      Comment

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